It was depression that killed the remaining happiness I had left, but it was the same thing that keeps me going. Most of the time? I just want to die, to disappear until there are no ashes, no trace of my existence would be left. To be just nothing, as I am now. But the nothingness wouldn’t be overwhelming. As if I never existed. I always think that life was just a joke that I had to deal with. It’s like a prank I need to face everyday. The more I encounter it, the more it makes me sick. Then later on I wouldn’t notice […]
8th grade was when it all started. It started in the middle of that year. My dad & I were fighting. He told me that the reason he tried to kill himself was because of me. At that time I started to believe it was me cause of the way I treated him. His mental health issues at that time were up & down. In previous years he was overdosing with his prescription meds which led to him getting into a car accident with me & he also fell down the stairs. Some other things happened like he ran into a tree with […]
This is my story or just a part of it.
I hope you can understand me because my english is too bad,but I need to talk (in a strange way) about it.
I want to die since I have ten years,and I’m nineteen.
Nine years spending my days thinking about my suicide, thinking why I’m still here,wondering why is so difficult for me to die when is too easy for people who,actually, don’t want to die.
self-harming, anorexia, bulimia, pills;also I tried to have an “accident” crossing the street.
And I’m still here,hating me.
My scars are going away, but the pain is here,inside.
I went to […]
To whomever will listen,
2 years ago my mom passed away of an accidental overdose ever since then my life has been awful. Before my mom passed away it was crap, but it got worse. She past away when Â i was in 7th grade it seems like yesterday. In 9th grade during a school break i was alone watching my neighbors house for her since she trusts me and she was away for the week. During the time she was gone my friend offered to get me fucked up i turned her down because i wasn’t ready to fuck up, but just a day later everything […]
This is my 17th year on Earth. I honestly didn’t expect to make it this far, and yet, I have. Over the past couple of years I have tried so many times to get help, sometimes it helps for a little while but I still end up back in the same horrible place. I’m at the point now where I don’t believe that there is any hope for me and I’ve accepted that. I just want to get everything that needs to be done before I die done, that is why I am writing this. I haven’t really shared my story before, I don’t even […]
So, I couldn’t access this website for like a week so I started a blog Â theventingspace.blog.com . Self harm is a pretty common thing for people with Borderline Personality Disorder. I started cutting in February of 2012, I was self harming in different ways before that but nothing that was visible. I took laxatives, I had unhealthy relationships, I drank too much, and going wayyyy back to my early childhood( the only other time it was visible) I pulled out all my eyelashes and eyebrows and blamed it on an episode of Punky Brewster. Â Now why would someone start cutting so late in life? I […]
I feel so desperate having no where else to vent to but lately I’ve been so alone. My friend and I had a shopping trip and I jokingly say we should have a sisterhood for a sweater and she says “I might be able to fit into your clothes but our other friend definitely Â won’t ” and she may not realize it but that was her calling me fat. I hate when she always hints indirectly that I am the fat friend. And I’ve been on my way loosing weight. I’ve lost 15 so far and plan on another 30 but I just don’t think […]
all my life , I’ve been that fat girl, the ugly girl. The girl noone wants to be around. Okay . I’ve had my fights and stuff but I just still don’t get why nooone has ever liked me. I’ve had ftoends and boufroends but I always find out what they really think of me.. its always my personality .. Im numb.. all I do sometimes is cry. My dad used to be an alcoholic now my mom is an abusive alcoholic.. my first love is now gay.. Im 17 years old.. I weigh 200 pounds. I have acne all over my face and body […]
i want to move on already.. from all these feelings. But, how can I? All people do is hurt me, just for their own good. What good do you get out of this though? All you’re going to be left with is guilt… Guilt from being the person that made someone want to die and leave behind all their dreams just for something stupid that you said.. You have no idea how badly this hurts… Having to say goodbye to everyone.. one by one.. Its like self harming myself.. one by one.. but it all happens so quickly. Everything is going wrong, at this point […]
This is the first time I post something on here but I feel like I’m finally ready to do something like this. For this first post I think I’m just gonna tell my story, I need to get it off my chest.
On the 30 of September 17 years ago my brother was born. And 2 years later on his birthday, I was born. We always shared our birthday and it was something really special. Me and my brother were always close, like few brothers and sisters are. Besides being my brother, he was also my best friend.
But it all ended on the 25 […]
i havent had a brilliant life so far im 24 i hate my life been in and outa hospital all my life been self harming for years had too many suicide attempts and cant do it anymore was a hard childhood sexual emotional and physical abuse by family now my only friend in this town has decided she doesnt want anything to do with me and wont tell me why my partner is sleeping all the time he slept all through his birthday i cant cope doing everything my mental health nurse doesnt believe that im bad so she wont help i have no other […]
Im trying hard to be the best person i can be but my thoughts are elsewere.Elsewere as in on suicide.I dont even have a good reason for wanting die.But i cant stop thinking about dying.i want my thoughts to quiet down.So i dont have to keep doing this.But right now i have this urge that just keeps saying do it.do it..Its not voices rather a feeling.Its night here so im especially tempted to drink the bottle of pine sol.I dont think im going too.But its very hard not to at the same time.My therapist is threatening to lock me away somewere permenately if i […]
I’m not in the best of mindsets at the moment. All I can think about is Suicide.
I know that I probably shouldn’t be but today I realised something.
Nobody wants me here.
I haven’t been diagnosed with any sort of mental healthÂ issue but I know that I’m severely depressed. This upsets me more.
I’ve been in denial for so long. I lied to my loved ones. I’ve cut, bruised, hurt myself to the point where I don’t know who I am anymore.
I wish that things were different [like everybody else] but wishful thinking will never get me anywhere.
My thoughts aren’t […]
I get the feeling that you need something for security, as in cutting/self harm, something that indicates that your still alive. I am not going to sugarcoat this, because for people throw a pity party for themselves. Even if your going through something, because we all do, you are the author of your own fate. â€œBut my mom/dad/both donâ€™t care about me. I did that because of what they did to me.â€ Like I said, itâ€™s up to you with what you do with your life, donâ€™t let other people influence how you walk down your own path. If you do drugs, alcohol, smoke, donâ€™t […]
this all actually started a long time ago , in my first grade they were lots of kids who hated me for no reason they called me names they were spitting on me and once almost hit me but i ran away.
it was like that for a long time and since the 6TH grade i started cutting they stopped bulling but i started cutting i was in a depression Â i felt lonely like nobody loves me.
everynight i cry myself to sleep
now im in 8TH grade i have […]
I am 15 and from Brazil. I think this post is gonna beÂ long, but I ask you to read it.
The point of my post is not sharing my self-harming story. But let’s start with it.
The time was 2011. I had some problems with people. Actually, people were my problem.
These Internet fads were rising at that time, in my country. Not only that, I was 13,Â that moment when we start to grow up and realize how people are essentially […]
Thinking back, I thought I’d been self harming for a year now but really? I’ve been doing it for almost 3. I was just thinking about everything and I remember in 6th grade I used to line my arms in rubber bands and just flick them until my wrists were bloodshot red. Then in 7th grade IÂ finallyÂ got over that and tried cutting but swore I’d never do it again. Then IÂ developedÂ Trichotillomania (pulling out my own hair) and that got to anÂ extremeÂ enough point that I had to cut my hair short enough where I couldn’t see it unless I looked in the mirror. I still have […]
My whole life I have had horrible luck. I always had to struggle for the things I wanted while the people around me just got it handed to them.
I started self harming when I was around 11 it started out as light cutting on my left arm and then once I made enough cuts I would stop until they healed
One night I decided to write a suicide note and take a bunch of pills. I took around 60 pills of all kinds, some sleeping pills, some pain relievers, some pills that were just there. What ever pills I had I took them
Well this is basically an update of how i’ve been and where i’m at in life. I have turned 15 and my depression is eh more or less better, it isn’t as constant as before and now it’s more of a few days a week or so. My mother has found out i self-harmed and has told my doctor which created a huge shit storm that included me talking to a social worker and seeingÂ a psychologist. Well i saw this psychologist and it was not what i thought it would be. She was very nice and fairly young and iÂ went once a week for […]
So my horoscope tells me that its hard for me to be emotional. Is it really? Well my family tends to think so. In my mind I always feel like committing suicide. At one moment I can feel so HAPPY that my family thinks Iâ€™m always the happy child and then at the next I feel so lonely, and secluded, out of place. I never fully understand what triggers my feeling to go up and down. When I was in class 7 I lied to my friends telling them that Iâ€™m an expert at self harming but honestly I never even dared to try it. […]