Depression is very common in my family! In fact almost everyone on my mothers side suffers from some form of depression or mental illness. As I sit watching my happy and very silly baby boy run around the yard I am plagued with the crippling fear of passing on my depression to him. I can’t bear the thought of one day Broox wanting to take his own life or harming himself in any way. I wish there was a way I could scoop him up and hide him away so he is always this happy, silly, giggly care free beautiful boy that he is right now! I feel helpless as a mother because there is no way to shelter him from this. There is no way to know if he will have to struggle with the same things that I am battling right now! The fear is almost paralizing but I can’t give in to it. Suicide still crosses my mind but I press forward because I know there is a chance that my sweet son will struggle with the same thing and me surviving will give him hope. If I give in to my urges and suicidal thoughts then what hope will he see? What promise will he find? So another day I press forward and work towards happiness and a depression free life, not only for me but so that he will know that no matter what he will make it and he will be oka!
– Layne
4 comments
I get scared about my daugher gettin my shit too #scarythought
Your attitude does you credit. Keep fighting for your son, and yourself. I wish you luck.
Aww, you are lucky to have such a pure little thing as yours, try to just be in the moment, don’t worry about the future, which is unknown – it’s fantasy. Just be in the moment if you can. Enjoy him. And I hope you are getting adequate help with the depression and all that comes with it.. Take care
Your an amazing mommy Layne! Broox is lucky to have you!