IÂ cut. A lot..
I’ve done it for about a year. I swore to myself I would never harm myself like that, but look where I am now. I have an arm and two ankles covered in scars and cuts. I think of cutting as a stronger way of crying; i feel so weak just bursting into tears, so intsted i cut, it shows i’m strong enough to deal with pain. But now I know I need to stop. People who mean so much to me tell me I need to stop. I’m loosing people because of it. I nearly went to hospital because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. That was during my first mental breakdown.. I lost probably one of the closest people to me. Now the cuttings worse, its infected my mind, it’s my resort to everything. I don’t know what’s happened to me; i’m such a bad person now, i’m alone and depressed. I can’t trust anyone and my so called friends don’t care. Even they look at me like i’m some cutting freak. I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. i’ve attempted suicide, and still I feel like that’s the only way to end everything…
4 comments
Alot of times we can never really imagine ourselves doing something till it happens.
I understand how you feel. Feeling weak is not the easiest thing. You get tired of just crying over eveything.
But if you really think about it is there anything you can acctually do about what is bothering you?
If there is then why are you resorting to cutting instead of facing your problems. Cutiing is now weak and is your new version of crying over everything. You should toughen up and try to face the problems because that will show your strength.
And if there is really nothing you can do about those problems right now then it can’t be your fault and you can’t ffel weak. You can feel powerless yes, at times we all do. But somethings we just have no control over. So maybe you should try something else instead of cutting. Maybe go for runs, take a piece of paper and write down how much this stuff bothers you and just rip it up, talk to someone if you can ( maybe someone that doesn’t look at you as the cutting freak as u say that u don’t want to lose. just let them know how you feel. let them know you’ll try to stop and maybe they can help you) Maybe try just listening to loud music and sing/dance along sometimes. There are a million of other things you could do. Cutting is just what found you at the moment of your pain. Don’t let suicide find you too.
That just lets the people who stare at you as the cutter win their battle and it leaves you remebred as weak. Try to be strong. You’ll be suprised at how much strength you can really have. Good luck. And please keep posting letting us know how everything is going with you. We’re here to help. 🙂
Cry!You arn’t weak and If people say other wise then who cares!Believe It or not cryinq helps,It heals the heart.Even tho the pain Is qonna come back.Stop before It qets worse.I have nine permanete cut marks.I stopped doinq It often when I had one permanete one where everyone could see It.Just try to cut down on It you know?
I used to cut. my legs are covered in scars. for me it was a way to level out when things got to much to handle. so I know you feel. It’s a calming strategy. my sister eventually caught me so afterwards, i resorted to hitting myself over and over with this blunt object that holds a heavy metal ball in it. its easier lying about bruises and plus they go away.
“crying does not mean you’re weak,
it just means you’ve been strong for too long.”