It’s the one thing that i’ve always wanted to be. Pretty and perfect. When i was a little girl, i was pretty and happy. No one every told me that i’m ugly or did anything to make me sad. But now, I’ve turned into some ogre just wanting to burst out. Every time i see someone pretty, i get really jealous and just wanting to hide away. All of my friends are really pretty and it’s hard to know that you’re the odd one out, the only one that’s ugly. On those 2 days of the week, when i have P.E (sport days), i get really scared, i embarrass myself so much when i do even simple things like running or even lifting a limb. I always thought that if i stayed still, people won’t look at me. It’s hard though when you can’t just escape these times at all.
Sometimes, for some reason, i thought that guys had liked me. But then i’d think like- “Why would they like you, you’re just a stupid, ugly thing.” I’ll always be a loner and an idiot with no life. I’ll always be a virgin too. I always thought that maybe when i’m older, i’ll be pretty, but sometimes i just think i’ll be like this forever. No amount of make up or anything can cover up this hideous face, and even body. I always thought committing suicide was the answer to get out of this thing. I’ve always been alone with thise situation, no one is as self- consious as me.
Gumpy
30 comments
So…youre going to let something as “not pretty” stop you from feeling good about yourself? You can say so many times to yourself, that you’re ugly and ugly until you seriously do commit suicide. You got two legs to stand on so you can do something that makes you feel more confident about yourself.
Maybe dye your hair, buy new clothes or work out. I think that if I saw you in real life you’d be gorgeous.I think its just how we see ourselves that makes us think were ugly. good luxk
I know the feeling.
I hate P.E, having to get changed infront of everyone, then people pretending not to notice my arm, or my hip, or ankle, or leg. And then going out to the sports hall with 2 left feet and attempting to play whatever sport it is.
I’m just greatfull that my school has a gym, with CV machines, I go every lunch time and now were having a lesson in there every week. It’s so good because I don’t have to hide the fact that i’m exercising.
Also if your bothered about being a virgin, don’t be !! Cherish it ! Once it’s gone, you never get it back. I’m not saying ‘wait for the one you love and he loves you as well’, because that’s bullshit. Just make sure you want to, and if a guy starts to push you around, leave, as soon as you can and don’t look back. Or you’ll regret it. And I’m sure your stunning ! X
Thanks so much s2419. It really does suck doing P.E and having people look at you like “What a freak.”- that’s for me anyway. I know being a virgin isn’t bad, but by the time all of my friends get boyfriends and have sex, i’ll be a loner. Anyway, whatever, i’ll get over the fact that imma be alone forever. Thanks for the support, you’re a good person and a nice friend.
Gumpy
You won’t be, I promise. There’s allways a guy to fuck or to have a good relationship with. You’ll find what your looking for, just be patient, how old are you ?? And thanks, your sweet 🙂 x
@Evally- Thanks :). I know being ugly doesn’t seem much of a reason to kill myself, but you know, sometimes i might reject clothes people might buy for me because i’ll look ridiculous and then i feel really really bad.
@s2419- I guess i know i’ll never get a boyfriend or anything because i’ll reject it. I guess i don’t see myself, a worthless thing, in a relationship, it’d be weird and unrealistic. Btw i’m 14, 15 in May. 🙂 xx
Ohh right okk, well don’t do anything while your at 14/15 you’ll regret it, trust me.
And when you find the right person that makes you happy when your on the edge, ready to jump then you won’t reject it. I promise xx
Thanks s2419 so much for the encouraging words :). Right now, committing suicide, seems the right time. It seems not too early or late. I’m struggling a bit now as well. But i said to myself- “If something really bad happens, you can make the move, the Big S.” and so maybe i shoud wait a year or something. 🙂 xx
Gumpy
You should hold out untill your 20. (just so you know I don’t practice what I preach, I’m such a hypocrite) because you’ll probably view life differently then. And have you decided on a method ? Xx
Hey Gumpy.
First off, lots of people find themselves ugly, but beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder, and what you find ugly, someone else will find gorgeous.
Just look in the mirror and try to accept that that is what you look like. Now you can move on. Worrying about your looks is hard work, and lots of people spend a lot of time and energy doing it. But if you like, you have the opportunity to instead spend that time and energy on stuff you actually enjoy. 🙂
Regarding the relationship thing, it’s pretty easy. All you have to do is find someone you’re attracted to and to let them know. Eventually you’ll strike gold.
@s2419- Yea, i kind of agree. Probally more when im 16 or 17 though. I was going to hang myself in my closet and leaving a suicide note. I’d say my goodbyes and everything as well. One reason why now isn’t a good time aswell is that i have braces and i don’t want to make my parents spend thousands of dollars for nothing.
@muspelhem- I find it hard to not doubt myself. I can’t see anything at all good about my looks. But i try my best to make myself pretty, i fail everytime. I have liked someone before but I never allowed myself to and i never told anyone. It’s for the best though, i think i suit being a loner.
Gumpy
You are so cute !!! And your gunna have perfect teeth ! That will help you to see that your pretty, right ?
And hanging yourself, just be carefull, it could eaisly go wrong. You can with break your neck or hang there for a few min suffocating. Just mar sure it’s what you want to do and I’m allways here if you wanna chat 🙂 my emails under my name when you go onto comments 🙂 xx
@Gumpy your name reminds me of how much of a dick I was in high school….acting like a cool kid judging all those girls saying one was hot or one was gumpy…I was such an ass…don’t be sad..you are still young I agree with s2419…live till your 20 at least…after 18 you will have more freedom and i dont know…the world is a large place you can definitely find ur place. And um dont worry about being a virgin at your age I’m an 18 year old male virgin and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Sometimes people here upload a picture and you’d be surprised at how many people give compliments on how beautiful or handsome someone is. If you ever wanna take a chance try that or not, ya know your choice.
@s2419- haha thanks! I never needed braces, i just have a few crooked teeth and an overbite. But whatever. I have thought about the hanging thing and other methods that something might go wrong, which is kinda scaring. Even though i hate myself, i’m scared of pain and i want a fast, painless death. Since i meet you, you’ve been a really good friend 🙂 thanks so much, i hope we can support eachother in the tough times.
@AtTheEnd- haha i just randomly made up that name. 🙂 Sometimes i’d be a total dickhead and i’d look at people and think like “i’m glad i’m not you, you’re ugly.” but those times i had forget i was ugly too. I never ever told someone they were ugly or something cause i know how much it hurts. I think judgemental people like that should get a life. I don’t think i would upload a picture of myself, it’d be a bit attention seeking for me. 🙂
Gumpy
🙂 you seem like a really sweet person, please hang in there, i know it’s hard but I really believe you’ll have an amazing life if you stick around for the next chapter 🙂 xx
@Gumpy haha don’t worry I’m not handsome or anything so I was being dumb judging people. And it wouldn’t be attention seeking to upload a picture. Attention seeking would be uploading like 20 or something and advertising it…lol
@s2419- thanks for the encouraging words :). I hope the same for you, you’re a strong and great person but i hope things much better for you and you find happiness. xx
@AtTheEnd- i’m sure you are handsome! Everyone is if not on the outside, on the inside. You’re probally right, it’s not really attention seeking but you know, whatever 🙂
@Gumpy seriously they even said I wasn’t ugly lol and I am ugly both in and out remember I was a dick in high school I was even a bully ive done a lot of bad throughout my 18 years of life…meh but this isnt about me. I hope to speak to you again and to get you to upload so we can all compliment you
@AtTheEnd- I know how you feel, i’m ugly in and out, but you’re not :). You might’ve been a bully but that’s the past and you’re a totally new person. Look at the positives about yourself. If it’s not appearance, maybe you’re really good at sport, or people might think you’re a good artist or maybe your a high acheiver or maybe you’re smart. 🙂
Gumpy
@Gumpy lol i was to uncofindet to even try out for the sport I liked until like my senior year and I was so bad that i got rejected by the coach. I still treat people badly and stuff…im nto an artist and not a high achiever lol not much fo anything. Picture haha im sorry im being pushy xD
@AtTheEnd- Well i’m not sure what you’re good at, but i guaranty there is something. 🙂 And i saw your art on deviantart , it’s really cool. 🙂 You seem optimistic and a good person, encouring people to look the postives about themselves.
Gumpy
@Gumpy lol…i havent uploaded in so long….i gave up on everything…wanted to die last night but someone here stopped me :/ You should upload a picture kid! XD
@AtTheEnd- I’m glad that person did stop you! Why do you want to kill yourself anyway? Is it cause you think you’re worthless? Cause trust me, you’re not. Full stop. I’ll upload a pic tomorrow! Prepare to be horrified! xD
@Gumpy I am worthless because i have no motivation because i feel like i have no friends and i dont appreciate the few people who do want me around…I push people away and I wallow in self pity…I dont accept help…And I just dont want to continue this miserable existence. Trust me I know myself lol and oh yeah ill be waiting tomorrow!
@AtTheEnd- I feel the same way. No one can really make you not doubt yourself. But i hope you don’t kill yourself, any time soon anyway. you’re really awesome 🙂 you just don’t know it. 🙂
@Gumpy I know…i wanted to die yesterday but im alive and i have a lot less friends now….oh well maybe someday soon like tonight or tomorrow
@AtTheEnd- But doesn’t this website help? I don’t think anyone can make you not kill yourself but i hope you find happiness and realise the positives of yourself. 🙂
@Gumpy Ive been on this website a long time back when it was a wonderfuk place its helpfulness has decreased but its still a good place. I just want to be free
@AtTheEnd- atleast it helped a bit :). Well you’re a great person and when you do decide to commit suicide and die, i hope heaven is a happy place and is somewhere where you can have freedom and a positive spirit. Remember i cared about you, no matter the situation you’re in.
Sincerly yours,
Gumpy
@Gumpy – Girl, get an unbeatable attitude. Beauty is just skin deep… Besides, tht virginity thng u kp saying- there r a lot of guys out there who really dont care about the aesthetics+ consider this- if can bcome ugly frm pretty then Y not vice versa? Go hit the gym, take care of ur diet, ur skin n everything(who gurantees ur afterlife? Wht if u r met with a ‘Oh heaven is no place for crybabes’ kind of sentence?)… But most of all get 1 hell of an attitude, something like- U DONT LIKE ME? Thats ur problem *****/dog- Good Luck sis
Ugh!!! Another one. Every girl has the same idea of wanting to look like something else. No one likes themselves exactly like they are. To be honest I had a lip job, jaw job, gum job and foot job and it doesn’t change much along with an extreme diet. You may think that appearence is important but character is more important. You can change someones looks but not who they are. If you were to meet someone who was not very attractivw would you talk to them if they had brilliant humour or something that you like or would you rather hang with someone who is attractive but a real *****. 😀 Embrace yyour differences unless you look like Michael Jackson. Oh and advice don’t wear any fakery whether it is hair extensions or fake eye lashes or fake nails… Guys prefer the real you and deffinetly no fake tan. Although charcter is more important. :p