When you take your meds and yet the hills are lower but the valleys deeper, you just want to die.
Nobody understands and money only postpones the inevitable.
People can’t understand, and sometimes nor can I.
But the way life is I just want to die.
I have no hall nor gun and thus can’t commit this ‘crime’ but I do have a death wish and that is mine.
When the meds do nothing but society asks, that you still take them to be all “well”
But you know that death cannot come quick enough
Though I fear and dread it
It solves all ills
December 2012
Another day,another page
You’re writing a tragedy
On your face.
Chalk white skin and scarlet eyes,
Sharpest blade and darkest lies.
Self-abuse ,and tears you cry,
You always think you’d rather die.
They say it’s wrong to end yourself,
But what’s the choice,when you have noone else?
Look at my hands,look at my legs-
Broken and soar,I can’t feel anymore
I’m cutting my skin to die from within
And escape from myself…
I’m hurting to heal,i’m dieing to feel
My light’s shutting down
My light’s never real…
in every moment
there has always been
and will always be
you
never created and
never ending
you are my love
eternal
your beauty speaks
by countless stars
i hear them
i see you
far away and into time
my truth waits
not for me
but for you
~for marianna. my best friend, my love and my entire reason. she is that which beautiful dreams of becoming. she is the joy in my heart and the whisper in my breath. she is my everything…and why i am now nothing.
Depression…It can come to anyone but that doesn’t mean it comes to everyone. It doesn’t just HAPPEN like that either. If you’re depressed, there’s a reason to it and it’s not something silly or stupid, it’s actually quite serious.
Right?
So that means all the people telling me that I’m looking for attention are wrong, and that something has happened within my lifespan to cause depression in my life. I’m not being an a**hole, attention-seeking or anything. I’m actually depressed.
But then there’s no cure to this. No-one to talk to around me, those whom I CAN talk to are far away, nad many people […]
This world will never be what i expected
If this could take my life, i think i’d let it
I think i’d leave alone everything that I own
Before I feel like I’ve waited too late…
It’s never too late
Even if I say, I wont be scared this time
Still i cut myself instead of take my life
My instincts kick in..and i stay alive
I always feel like i’m alright cause ive waited too late
But it’s never too late.
No one will ever see motion detected
I’ve been “gone” for so long, none wouldve guessed it
Well I should leave alone, everything that I know
Before […]
There is so many thing that i want to say to you, but i know you wont listen to me. You say you love me but i think you still love your ex way more. I’m so tire of you hanging out with her. I’m tired of always being last on your list to talk to. If you love her still want don’t you go out with her again, and just tell me straight out. Bc the more you lead me on the more i get angry, upset, and the more i will hate you. I’m so tired of it, why cant you just tell […]
Dark, suffocating darkness, no light
Despairing place with no way out
Chained to a wall inside this putrid place
No hope of happiness coming soon.
So lonely, so very lonely
A body lies beside, but it’s cold
This person is cold, cold of heart
No emotions presents
No comfort, no support, no encouraging words
Only radiating hatred, to keep you where you are.
So lonely, so very lonely.
Chained to this place with a cold person
A person you once knew
A person you once loved
A person you once called your love.
A person who no longer loves you
A person who no longer […]
Everyday it’s a constant struggle on trying not to cut. Not only thy but seeing all the many scar that completely cove my thigh  I’m trying my best to try and have god back in my life I fell like I need him mor than my razor . I really have tried I tell my friends but they  dont care at all. It sucks not hacing a true friend  thy will respond but I’m just trying my best
Let me start by saying I’ve always had strong thoughts about ending my life I never thought i was good at anything especially life. Around middle school I started to realize how much I liked girls(I’m a female). I live in a everybody knows everybody town and for obvious reason kept it to myself. 7th grade was my first attempt but a sibling walked in and I was rushed to the hospital. Okay fast foward about high school I still had that idk why I’m here feeling but then I met sky she was stayed in California and me Texas we talked for hours […]
I should have kept going to therapy, I should have told my mom that I was sticking my finger down my throat to lose weight, I should have told her that my therapist wasn’t helping me, and I should have told her how low I truly was.
I could have spared her false peace of mind, I could have saved myself from this relapse.
But, I didn’t, and I wouldn’t, and now I’m paying for it.
I’ll be honest, I’m young- under eighteen, actually. I had a very close family member die when I was ten, and I’ve been bullied since I was five. I’ve been contemplating suicide since I was nine, and it’s only gotten worse. I would have offed myself quite a while ago, but I don’t want to cause my family any more pain. It’s still hard to get through the day, however.
I was searching the internet for some websites to help when I came across this. I decided to read some stories, and maybe get some advice. Following some of the advice that I’ve found, I decided […]
Well…..I was searching ways to kill myself,somehow I came across this web site. I don’t get this website much. I don’t get y I am here. But I have lip of living thc to this web site.
u hurt
me. be greatful i tolerate ur ignorance. cherlyl.
u old woman. no i dont forgive u even though iknow how much ur hurting inside . honeslt y theres nothing u could have said that could have made me feel worse u useless *****
I wonder if someday I’ll get the courage to say I have depression instead of hiding it. I guess I’m just ashamed of it and afraid of the judgement I’ll get, Â has anybody here been open?. It feels like leading a double life almost by hiding this part of myself; faking smiles and all
Eating Disorders=hell
I want to cry all the time
I cant eat normally…ever
I lied/lie to everyone, saying I can’t have gluten so I didn’t have to eat…it works
I’m embarrassed and ashamed of what I’ve become
my family says I’m selfish and they hate me…
I hate me too
I’m hoping my E.D will kill me soon
so maybe I’ll be free
there’s too sides to me; i love nature, long walks, sitting next to a creek, i like hiking & going to the snow, i love laughing and feeling completely alive, i like to feel the rush of things like bungee jumping and jumping out of an airplane, i absolutely love art, traveling is one of the main things i like to do, i like being places where nobody knows me, & i believe life is very beautiful,… but this darkness has taken over me and made me into a bitter, lonely person.
I just wanted to take a break from reading and writing and say thank you to everyone on this website because without you I’d be six feet under by now, but you guys have given me hope. So, Thank you all.
i feel like i’m standing in the middle of people while their running past me, everything is happening so fast, lately the suicidal thoughts have been coming more powerful now i’m scared of what i might do to myself.
have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and bawl out crying? well this was me everyday for almost a year , now i look at my self for hours not shedding one tear, i though i could finally bare to look at myself but in reality i just became completely numb, over time i started losing my emotions i could no longer feel, i became so cold that i never let anyone love me because just the thought of someone actually liking me is imaginary, i push to many people away and never regret it. my pride is to high to tell someone […]