It’s getting worse

I am 19 and I’ve been cutting myself since I was 15. I cut on my legs so that no one will see them. I do it to distract myself from the sadness and emptiness and the constant thought of suicide. I feel like I’m not going to amount to anything, not going to do anything great with my life and be a complete failure. I’ve kept it a secret all this time. This is my first year in college and one of my new friends found out what I’ve been doing. She’s been tring to get me to stop but she doesn’t know what see’s doing. She toke away all of my knives but I usually  just go to walmart and get another. I thought I could trust her though but it turns out that she isn’t that good at keeping secrets, so now a lot of people know. and with every person that knows, the pain and need to cut myself just gets worse. When one of my other friends found out, she toke me to a counselor on campus. Today was the third time going to him. I’m a very quit person and today I built up the courage and told him about my thoughts of suide. He said that he had to tell his supervisor and said that they might have to tell my parents and send me somewhere to get more professional help. I wish I wouldn’t of said anything to him, I wish I wouldn’t of said anything to anyone, and just kept everything a secret. Maybe I should just give up on telling anyone anything, the need to cut has only gotten worse since I first spoke about it.