commit suicide. and throw myself hard on the concrete floor tilll my cheeks get crushed in pain and all my teeth fall out and my ugly plain eyes pop out of their skull. i’m to throw myself against the concrete or off a bridge till my head cracks open and all the rottenness comes out, cut my nipples off and attack myself with a machete before the devil takes me
July 2013
Anyone please help. I’m so tired of being angry. I’m so tired of being sad. I’m starting to plan it out. I’m getting thing ready to end it. I’m so sick of these thoughts. I just want to feel important to someone. I want someone to care. Please someone help.
All I have ever wanted is her acknowledgment and her praise. My mom pressures me to do better, achieve more, push myself. I have always tried to top her expectations, but I always fall short of perfect. These unreasonable expectations have made me feel like I can’t make anybody proud. Years of academic praise from teachers, awards from the city and even other people telling my mom to go easy on me… It just makes her certain I can do better…
I have fallen into a very dark place, trying to make everybody proud of me. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t put […]
Three words. Let me die
Please. Be it an accident, heart attack whatever. Just lest me rest and disappear.
I had never heard of this sight until tonight. I saw a friend post about it on Facebook & instantly thought that it was a sign.
Let me just begin with a little bit about me. I am 18, I live in a town I hate, & I hate most people. I’ve never really blogged, but I’ve always wanted to. It really helps me to write & I need to have a way to calm myself down. I really don’t know how to explain myself because I don’t really know who I am anymore. I don’t want to hear that I’m too young & that I […]
i’m just curious, do any of you have an imaginary friend? Â tell me about them, please
Being happy occasionally is starting to be a part of my life. It’s hard to think last month I ended up in hospital after trying to kill myself. I overdosed on Paracetamol. It was incredibly painful and didn’t work. My little brother saw me in hospital. I wonder how he feels. I didn’t want him to be there. My dad brought him down. My mother and father are splitting up. I worry about my brother a lot. I broke up with my boyfriend who I had almost been dating a year. Now I’m scared to have another one again. I have some amazing […]
Nothing ever changes,
even when you say it will.
You’ve always been a liar.
Filling yourself with falsity.
Hopeful lies,
and a grin so wide,
your skin could tear.
I’ve seen what lies beneath
the sleeves of your favorite sweater.
I have seen your ugliest truth.
The beautiful marks
that stain your skin
as a reminder of a night
you forgot to swallow your pill.
Living in a world of hazed confusion,
trying to block out the truth
with an upped dosage,
and a sharper edge.
Where do you hide?
Pretending this will work,
and stifle the pain.
But I can hear you cry at night.
Keep pretending.
Just a little longer, my dear.
I have a reason to stay alive. I know nobody cares but for so long I barely lived with any reason but now I found him. He brings me pure happiness. For the first time I have a smile that is really mine. Behind closed eyelids no longer am I haunted with nightmares and worry but peace and knowing when I wake up he will be there right beside me. When I feel his warmth the coldness in my heart melts away and I am left feeling such strong love that it keeps my thoughts so far away and I can actually live. I am […]
I am 19. I used to get bullied and sexually abused when I was in elementary school. In middle school, there was no sexual abuse just bullying, but I met Him. We didn’t go to the same middle school, but he lived across the street from me. I was at his house every day when I got out of school. His brother, Him, and I. We were always alone as their uncle and aunt were always out working or partying. Soon, it was only he and I..together alway. We went to the same highschool and I was bullied no more. He had given me a […]
I am praying that I don’t wake up in the morning. I usually do this each night before I go to bed now. I don’t yet have the courage to end things myself but I keep thinking each day I will get braver. I know why I want to end my life would seem rediculas to many. silly.. but the pain my heart and mind are in is unbearable to me. I do not want to hear it will get better. that I will heal that there is other options or that someone out there cares. or will love me. I can not even begin […]
Lately I’ve been feeling really sad. I cut myself yesterday and regret it :c idkkkk man.
I feel so alone, and my moms been bringing me down again. She calls me low life and lazy, and asks me when I’m gonna get a job, and what am I gonna study and all this shit. I’m 17 years old, and still young, fuck idk what I want to do or be yet, it’s going to take a long time for me to figure it out. I want to travel and meet people and see things form different perspectives. Why does life have to be so fucking rushed. […]
I need to know that something in me is still striving for an existence. I need to know that all of me has not given up hope. I feel as though I am drowning in a sea of no emotion, and will soon be so overcome with boilng rage, that I will begin to hurt others. I fear for what is in my mind. I fear for how I will turn out. I tell myself that things will get better because I want so badly to believe it so. I want to believe so badly that things will be okay, and it will all work […]
I’m out on the beach, and it’s really crowded. There’s at least 3 feet of space between myself and other beach bums. It’s really hot and sticky out there. There’s not a single cloud in the sky, besides a few swipes and swirls of cloud matter here and there. My hair is a knotty and matted mess from the sea water and all of the wind, and I’m trying my best to relax and let go of all the tension in my head. It’s hard to though, because not only am I uncomfortable in my black bathing suit, but I have a sort of paranoia […]
I really need to stop pussyfooting around my impending suicide and make a decision soon. Â When my brother leaves in a few months I will order some poison and take it and end my miserable existence. Â That’s that. Â Nothing will change my mind. Â My life is literally torture.
I’ve considered suicide multiple times, much less than most people though. I’m not one dealing with relationship problems, trying to escape pain from a disease, or other things, you name it. I’m fucking sick of humans. I can’t live on a planet that’s full of so many useless lives, including my own. Nobody takes anything seriously anymore, and if I had the option to nuke the planet, no questions asked I would do it, for the sake of any other life forms in this universe to take advantage of what we have. Aside from my hatred for humans, I can’t stand myself. I know I […]
For about 4 ½ years I’ve been unhappy, but never had the thought of suicide crossed my mind until I entered high school. (It’s not one of those things where I’m a loner and had no friends). I actually have had a lot of friends my whole life but I always felt like a hole and I was always just sad for no reason, so recently I started therapy for family reasons and my therapist ran a few tests and I go back July 30 to see if I can be diagnosed clinically depressed. Around February I became extremely rebellious an unhappy and I would […]
Hey, I been writing a book about aboy who tried to shoot up his school but stopped becuase an teacher attacked him and locked him in his trunk.(<—– that's the main part of chapter one)
I have hand writed the frist 3 chapters before realizing I should write a chapter by chapter main objective and details to keep the book going along……..I did this for the first book
I also realized that after I typed it I became far smaller than I expected it to be (way shorter)
So I rewrote the first 4/40 pages handwritten (<—- the amount of pages I aming for per chapter….but […]
I am weak, I am a crumbling wall. Cracking with the pressure, watch me fall, tumbling. Screaming all the way down, the darkest tunnel. Tears drop from my cheeks and splatter on the floor, a puddle of diamonds. Graceful ending is all I hope for, but they rip me from my dreams. End it all now, end it all soon.
Black, all encompassing Darkness, The End.
I have LPR.
It’s a horrid disease and incurable to say the least. Those with LPR have the pleasure of experiencing various, horrible, painful symptoms in their heads and throats. There is no cure. Doctors refuse to acknowledge its existence. The only one who does – a specialist – says having LPR is like having the ‘VIP pass’ to throat cancer.Guaranteed. The stomach enzyme pepsin is to blame for both LPR and fatal throat cancer. Proven.
And I have LPR. Proven. Therefore I am almost guaranteed to experience cancer, which will kill me. Painfully…
And even if I don’t, I will have to suffer for my whole life, […]