I can’t stand anything anymore. I’m so bitter about everything. i hate my job, my friends are awful, I am stuck in a town that I have lived in my whole life, i didn’t bother applying for any colleges because my grades always sucked and now I’m stuck going to a stupid community college and I don’t want to go to college right now. I am not mentally stable enough to pass any courses and I have to pay out of pocket because I don’t qualify for any financial aid. But I have to go or else I have to pay my parents rent because they want me to go to college so bad. But my heart just isn’t in it. What I really want is to go to New York. i want to live there and experience the New York lifestyle. i went there in March and completely fell in love with it and ever since I’ve been home, I have missed it like crazy. But I don’t think i can get there and I don’t have patience to stay here any longer. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so stuck and I’m full of such anxiety about the future, and I just don’t know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I feel like such a failure and almost like I don’t even deserve to live. I have so many negative thoughts going thorugh my mind at one time that tell me that I shouldn’t be alive right now and that I should just kill myself because the universe is against me and I’m not allowed to be happy.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
3 comments
Go to New York. Save up money. And don’t go to the community college. Paying the rent should be cheaper than college right? Just keep saving up for New York. You can get there
I have no safety net there. I have nowhere to stay and I don’t have a job. I need all these things before I can even think about being there longer than vacation.
It you want something you’ll have to work for it. Try to be optimistic, once you get a job and get enough money for an apartment, you can leave. I know it’s not at all that simple but if its really what you want, go for it