Lets start here… I have been with my boyfriend for more than 7 months. I know he loves me, he will cry in front of me when i’m mean to him (I’m bipolar) and he does sweet things for me. But here’s the problem… I’m overly jealous and insecure and it gives me really bad anxiety. I’m this way because All my life i’ve been around a mother who goes from boyfriend to boyfriend and would tell me how shitty men are and that they are all the same. Growing up around her made me believe everything she told me. So soon enough i started getting boyfriends and she was right. But then I met Jonathan. I can tell he loves me I just can get over my fears of being cheated on and thinking hes always lying to me so i’m constantly bitching at him for anything and everything that i think is even slightly off. I need help… How can I stop being this way? Hes getting me a promise ring in a few days and i feel bad if we go on and i cant get my old ways out of my head. PLEASE HELP.
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4 comments
Not all guys are the same. Not all of them are as good as I am (J/k of course). lol
Seriously, its a cycle you have bought into subconsciously.
I dont know what to tell you other than start with explaining to him your thought processes, so he can understand you better.
You have to trust yourself to trust him. You are NOT your mom. Just because all her boyfriends end up being a-holes doesn’t mean that will happen to you. You can only stop being insecure when you stop yourself. I know that makes no sense. If your boyfriend doesn’t already know all this, perhaps you should tell him. He may be able to help you get over your insecurities or at least he will know why you are behaving a certain way and he won’t be so hurt. For your peace of mind, you could get him a promise ring too.Yes, they make boy ones. that way it’s your way of showing him you really are serious just as he is and that way there is a symbol for both of you that you are working towards something better. But ultimately you have to change yourself and trust yourself if you want to stop being jealous.
XxAshleighxXD,
it called self destruction, you have to stop it! or ?
You should break up with him. lets face it hes obviouslty some bit damaged himself, i mean he wouldnt put up with you ripping him to pieces if he wasnt, more than likely you will destroy his self confidence, or whatevers left of it. sure he may love you but if you love him you wouldnt have him subjuct to this, prehaps you should get your bi polar under controll (are you midically diagnosed and taking pills) and sort out the negative imprint your mother has left in your mind, its not really fare on him. mabye im wrong but he seems to be the victim in this, you going to help him or keep hurting him?