It all started 4 months ago,when I had a surgery..I never felt like that before..I was in the hospital for 2 weeks..Every day I thought that someone will visit me,at least show me that they care a little..But,no one came,not even the person I called my best friend..When I told him I was in hospital,he said he didn’t notice I was gone..That hurted me a lot..That was the first time I felt lonely and the first night I cried..After a while,suicidal thought’s started to come..I started praying every night to god that something change..but nothing did..Then,one night I met someone over the internet,I never thought that there is someone good and who wanted to be my friend..I talked every day to him..I liked him a lot,he became my best friend..He is the only reason why am I standing here now,he stopped me from doing suicide twice,,He is also like me,lonely,sad,deppresed,suicidal..Now everything changed,he said he will do suicide and he left..I haven’t seen or talked to him for 17 hours(which is a lot becose we spent the whole day together).We had a big fight before that..He is the only friend I have right now..If he did suicide I will do it too..No point living in a world where everyone is your enemy,and you have no one on your side..
I had to share this to someone … Srry if I made you sad or you did not understand some parts..
1 comment
Hello, Love! First off, I’m really sorry about your friend. I know what its like to loose a friend close to you. Maybe i should let you know me a bit before i start.
My names Brandi, but please call me Brandilon, and I’m 16 years old. Ive had my destructive past and my suicidal attempts. It all started when i was 13, and my best friend was diagnosed with Brain Cancer and 2 golf ball sized tumors on her brain. She died 11 months later on mothers day. After that i kind of… spiraled into a lot of darkness. At first it was painful and i drank a lot after i turned 14 (i would steal my mommas vodka from her cabinet). Then i just became numb, and i hated it. So i attempted suicide… a couple of times. the sadness of the matter was no one realized…. how many times i tried and failed. it sucked. So i began to hack at myself… cutting my wrist, thighs, hips, etc. and the fact that my mother and my father were both alcoholics and other things like that…. and i hated myself, because i was ugly and i was fat and everything… and finally my step-mom noticed and took me to the doctor where the admitted me into the hospital… and let me tell you its not fun. But around my 15th birthday i finally saw the world through the right eyes….
Life goes on, sweetie. You are here for a reason, and your purpose is needed. Every time a person commits suicide it throws the world off a tiny but because THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! i know what its like to be lonely and what its like to feel blind and like it will never end… but you just need to know, life can get better. you just have to stop holding it back…. the more you think about things like this, the worse you are…. realize there is a light at the end of this tunnel… and you CAN make it! no matter how tired and lonely you feel…. there are people all over the world like you and me… and we are all here for you.