I feel better today than I did last night or the day before yesterday. I guess all of they crying cleansed me in a way. I do not cry for myself, I have been able to overcome my MDD, ADD, and BPD and make a pretty good life for myself. As many of you know, I am not suicidal, I guess you could say I am here to save the world. I understand that some people become angry with people like me and for that I am very sorry.
No, I do not cry for myself, I cry for my son, I cry for the world, I cry for you. This world is so beautifully broken. I laid on a bridge yesterday thinking about how beautiful the sun was shining through the trees, the sound of birds chirping, and my family around me. Of course the beauty is always short lived because I must always reenter the real world, the world full of pain and hurtful (evil) people. Beautiful yet broken.
I am broken, I haven’t a clue what to do. My husband and mother keep telling me that I don’t have to save the world, but I do, I know that I have to try. They will never understand anyways.
Please tell me what to do, tell me what it takes to help you. I feel so small because I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to say to my suicidal son or his suicidal friend who just moved in with us. I don’t know anything, maybe I’m a joke. Is it so flawed to think that maybe we can all save each other? Maybe we can save the world? Tell me what to do.