Hi,
I haven’t posted in a long time. Although I have felt suicidal the hole time I have been waiting for “the right time” . I chose June 11th the day before my Birthday. the only problem w/ that is I really want to do It this weekend. I  am not getting any better. I’ve been doing everything I’m supposed to do. But I feel like I don’t belong. My own brother is trying to bring me down and making me feel like i’m not doing the right thing, even tho I have been sober for 8 months and following the program of the group home that I live at. He just want’s me to move down the Cape and run a kitchen for the summer. If  I do that, I am certain to  start drinking and drugging again.
Anyway I have been feeling very suicidal lately. Nothing is helping, med’s, therapy , Electro convulsive therapy or  sobriety. I am just a miserable, pathetic person who would be better off dead. I’m gonna ask GOD to show me a sign not to do it. If nothing happens by tonight I will succeed in this attempt.
3 comments
I have been trying now for ten minutes to figure out what to say or how to respond to your post. I got on this whole suicide project site I guess to read if others feel the same as I do which is how your feeling. The only thing that keep me here is how selfish it is I tried five years ago but didn’t like the taste of the exhaust The other day I told my brother I’m done with this planet and unfortunately I am too much of a coward to kill myself. He told me I’d be a coward if I did. I don’t know what do. My life sucks I’m all alone but I guess I have to continue living in the hell I’ve created for myself. I’m trying hard to find a purpose. I hope my sad sac shit doesn’t bring u down more. Talk to me. ??
Hang in there. I will
I hope both you guys made it. I’m in a similiar boat. I remember what it’s like to not be suicidal. I wish to return there.