I am a construction worker..
But I am also an artist.
Everyday some one comes up to me at work and reminds me of this. My work is complex and truly beautiful to the untrained eye.. Kinda like my life!
But everyday I work alone.. And I am reminded of that too.
I’m always being asked.. “Are you alone?” “don’t you have any help?”
“Do you always work alone?”
My response is always the same..
This is my life, it’s what I do…
It’s all I know!
Everyday reads of poetry.. In my words and in my actions. In the way I hold my self as well as the look in my eyes. There is no life outside of this poem. There is no future beyond these words.
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Beautiful but very sad – tell me more.
Very well then..
32 years on this earth…and 6 whole stories into the air… That’s where I live my life. There are no cross roads here. There is only sky beneath my world. Down below, too far to reach, is the dream I’ve left behind. The person I was once has been lifted to heights others would consider pure suicide.
But how can this be? What are these wings anyways? Who do they elevate in this life, besides the shell that I have shed..the shell of who I was. Now, gone up in the dust..
My feet bring me to this edge…so far above it all..
We all have to make a decision in life, we all must make that one desperate move to be free from this hell…
I make mine from way up here.
This is where you’ll find me
You’re a builder, a maker. Some people seem to think buildings and gadgets just spontaneously manifest out of sheer force of will.
“Will”
To say it is mine.. Isn’t so far off from truth!
I have claimed…every…single….day!
I have claimed my own will, and forced it upon the innocence inside myself! I have forced the words to break myself from this pain. Free from the victim I’ve settled for..
I’ve willed my hands to grip past all hope and far far beyond faith…
I have seen…I have known…I have believed in that which fools believe, for the sake of faith. I’ve taken that jump…
These are not just words…this is not just going through the motions..
The motions are but meaningless without the will of self.
To be motionless from the power of ones own will is to know a true end of ones self
-I said that shit
It’s important to feel accomplishment in your work or anything you feel strongly about, in your goals. So let me just acknowledge something real quick.
Two supervisors showed up on my job yesterday and reviewed my work. They are almost completely blown away that I can actually handle such extensive work all by my little ol’lonesome self, and for such a long extended periods of non supervision. A fellow worker also complimented me on the visual appeal of my work and also was blown away that I do it all by myself. And lastly, just this morning the security guard who guards this job at night wanted to pick my brain, cuz yes he too was shocked when he learned the same.
Feeling real good about my self right now..
Yet feeling more lonely than ever cuz of all this appreciation. Just sorta sets my stage all over again.
Edit: oh I forgot to mention the best part is that when I called in my work time to get paid I told them I only worked 38 hours in the week. But I just got my check and they paid me for the full week! 🙂 how nice of them!!