the shrink doesn’t think there is anymore drug wise he can do for me. he doesn’t think my depression is a chemical imbalance . so as of today i have stopped taking my meds. he doesn’t know this. i guess he will figure it out when i stop seeing him. from my research it seems i will be in for a hell of a ride. oh well. doesn’t sound like any of it will be lethal but one can hope. maybe the only thing it will accomplish is to clarify my desire to be dead. been thinking about it hard and heavy. haven’t procured the necessary implement but that shouldn’t be a problem. all i know is my self hatred seems to have intensified greatly. i have been emotionally distancing myself from everyone in my life. the walls are being rebuilt. that wounded little girl in me demands it. she is angry. so angry . she wants to tell the world to fuck off. she has had enough of this life . it is time to go. when exactly i can’t say. the irony here is that the shrink knows i am suicidal . he doesn’t ask questions anymore because he knows i won’t tell him the truth. after the debacle with law enforcement i am no longer inclined to tell him my plans. or tell anyone for that matter. i have played this game many times -blab about suicide end up in the hospital. well that is enough whining for one day. have a nice thanksgiving everyone.
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Hi. Please, don’t stop taking meds so suddenly. If you want to stop then lower the dosage and then it will go smoothly. Otherwise you’ll open the gates of HELL.
Of my boyfriend’s experience I can tell that it is a torture to stop taking them. Like, rehab from drugs. Really.
It is rough. I felt like I was being electrocuted
If your psychiatrist doesn’t think your meds are helping, did he stop prescribing and give you a plan for tapering down slowly from your current dosages?
Some people do have a hellish experience going off psych meds, but others quit high dosages, cold turkey, with little to no ill effects at all. I wouldn’t worry too much about that just yet.
I know you’re frustrated and angry right now, but consider, for a moment, that it can be difficult to find a shrink who DOESN’T throw pills at everything. Take some time, let the anger subside a bit, and consider that your shrink may be right — maybe your suicidal feelings/intentions are triggered by circumstances, rather than biology. Medication can still be helpful *at times* for *some* people dealing with shitty circumstances, but it sounds like whatever you’re on isn’t helping you at all. Maybe you’d be better served by something like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), where you can develop effective coping skills for when life is spinning out of control.