I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world / real life / reality”. Is there really no hope for me anymore?
I’m a 32 years old guy from Indonesia. Graduated about 13 years ago from U.S, and then “back for good” to my home country, supposedly working for a family business.
Many people honestly tell me (or view me) as a very talented, even multi-talented person. But unfortunately/sadly, somehow I just lack several few factors yet they are apparently probably the *MOST IMPORTANT* factors in this so-called “real world / real life / reality” .
It’s my mind / constant thinking & philosophizing (I love philosophy, reading, & constantly learning & expanding my mind),
and then it’s also ironically my own ‘ADD/ADHD’ ‘multi-talent’ lack of focus thing/problem,
also lack of “ambitions” somehow in almost many things in this “real world” (which I’ve found to be very lacking, stupid, superficial, shallow, and somehow can’t compare to my mind/thoughts or imagination/creativity/ideas; mainly it’s the people/human beings though that I resent like 90%/majority of people/humans in this planet, with the reasons I’ve just said before).
and probably one of the worst ‘factor’ is how I am also really bad somehow at “making money” , or perhaps, lack ANY REAL motivation in pursuing money, like so many people apparently have.
these all are what seriously crippling my life, and makes me a total failure/loser, even until now.
People always said, and in confusion asked me “Why do you waste your potentials so much?” My honest answer would always be: “I don’t know.. I wish I am more “normal” type of person.. and I wish I could really fit in this “real world” , but the reality is : I just couldn’t, and still can’t .. I don’t even know exactly why…”
One very important thing :
Do you seriously/honestly think there is really such a thing as “TOO LATE” ?
I want a really honest answer here. no sugar-coating please.
One of my biggest dreams is to become a famous musician/composer/songwriter & conductor, creating, making, weaving, & sharing all my music, tunes, ideas, & inspirations to as many people around the world/planet as possible.
But unfortunately, some people said that my music is not “easy-listening, mainstream, commercial” enough to be able to “make money” and become “famous/popular” these days today… (and this is sadly even coming from my own family & parents who told me those words…).
But now, I’ve finally realized, that somehow, maybe what they said is true:
despite even my “huge music talents” (as many, if not all, people honestly told me) , that I will still fail because I am not a really “practical” person (ie: my mind/head is always in the clouds, and not on the ground of earth’s soil…)
After all, what truly really matters these days is only how to “make MONEY” and how to be “famous/popular”, NO MATTER HOW or what ‘dirty’ tricks/strategies/cheats/lies/scams/means I have to do to be able to “reach the TOP” ,.. right ? …
So again,.. now I’ve realized that perhaps everything might be really already “TOO LATE” for me now..
Right now I’m stuck at helping my father’s businesses, which are unfortunately not going that well too, and I also blame myself for not being ‘passionate/motivated’ enough in continuing my father’s business,
While I still can’t even reach all my dreams…
So that’s why I feel like my life has been a total failure, and I’m a 32 years old loser. and probably it’s TOO LATE,…and there is no hope for me anymore…
(not everything in this “real world / real life / reality” have a ‘happy-ending’, right?…)
Or,…am I wrong? Could I be wrong in all my thinking/thoughts above?
Where could I be wrong though? What did I got wrong?…
8 comments
Story of my life, after age 32 (except I don’t resent anyone but those who reach the “top” by exploiting others). >_<; (Until 32 I was doing mostly fine.) It seemed like I had all the talent and all the potential in the world as I was growing up. I also love learning as much as I can and improving myself in every area I can. But even though my therapist thinks that's a good thing, I've come to believe it's probably a sort of addiction. Anyway if it's too late for you, then lol I'm doomed. :'D
If you can, I highly recommend you see a therapist. Get evaluated for ADD/ADHD. Check your stress levels. Talk with them about what things were like for you growing up, your relationships with friends, your parents and other people's expectations for you, what your dreams were, etc. Even if counselling doesn't "cure" your malaise, it probably *will* point you in the right direction. 🙂
I have a list of issues….psychological and physical…
But to me it sounds like you can probably fix this. Music is a hard field, but it is also one that tends to show no rewards until it breaks into famous.
Keep at it….keep trying…and maybe one day it WILL make a difference.
I failure too, I kill myself soon, Im 24 and live in my parents basement, no work much, gambling problem severe, aint nothing good going for me man. I wish you well though.
hi @whyyyy I wish you well too..
I’m 23 and you’d probably think if you were 9 years younger, you can try anything you want. I also think I’m so old and it’s too late to try a new thing. But maybe if I was younger, I would have probably thought the same thing… If you are gonna worry about that matter every year as you get older, why don’t you just start now?
I have those thoughts and feelings and worries too, and incidentally I will be 32 in a few days. I have felt like things were too late to change for so long, and maybe some are, but maybe some aren’t. I wish I could say something more determined and positive, but I’m scared of those things too. I think if you feel like a failure (I don’t think you are, you seem generous to your family and interesting) then there is nothing stopping you from trying something. Anything you care about is a good thing. Even if a career as a musician doesn’t go well, you’ve tried something creative and amazing. And it sounds like you deeply care about creativity and learning new things and having new experiences. So give that music career a try if you can.
I think your a great guy. Maybe the wrlds not ready for your imagination and thats fine. Just do what you think is right. You could be famous but its not all that matters. You could be the most talented musician that ever lived. You could be a great personality. You could expand your imagination to change things about yourself that make you more mainstream. If you dont want to do that I understand but what good is imagination if you cant use it for your own good. I know its hard but money isnt everything. In fact your probably a better person if you dont go after it. It corrupts people and makes them angry. Besides man, what do you really have to pay for? You sound like a great person and deserve only the best. I firmly beleive that, but, until you find something you really wanted to do and let nothing get in the way from that, there is no point to just imagining
I know this is a very cliché thing to say, but it is never too late. I have also been suicidal for a long time, but the thing that always stops me from acting on those suicidal feelings is hope. Why do you still live in your parent’s basement, if you don’t mind me asking? Are you unable to get a job? You could be down on your luck and have lost your money gambling, but there is ALWAYS hope. There is always a chance that things will get better. The first thing you need to do is convince yourself that, and things will start to work out for you.