It’s not only a reminder of how fucked up my life is, it’s also a blow in the face having to talk to those family members who will call me asking me how I’ll celebrate and how many friends I’ve invited and how much fun I’m going to have. They know nothing. And the fact that that hasn’t changed in the last years only shows how much I mean to them. Exactly, pretty much close to not a tiny bit. The only thing I wish for my birthday is that I don’t have one. Just leave me fucking alone and stop pretending you care.
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3 comments
Ah birthdays. I remember how on my 21st, I thought I would have a great time but actually it was a reevaluation of how worthless and pathetic of a person I am. People lectured. People made me cry. I started to not like birthdays. When I turned 22, people started to butt into my life telling how much they accomplished at that age and make me feel like I suck xD. All of a sudden they want to help but where were they before? It’s like, the only time they care and you mattered is a date; just to celebrate how worthless of a human being we are.
I understand your pain. Screw birthdays.
but I really hope you get some joy out of it surrounded by people who do care and love you genuinely.
Same. Most birthdays i remember are either due to accidents, being sick, having surgery (yeah, they mean so much to me that i had surgery on a birthday lol), or the same thing you mention: a reminder of how another year of life has gone by (and nothing has changed). Just like pretty much every other holiday i can think of they are only enjoyable if you are a kid, and even then it’s a toss up. Either way happy birthday, hope you can at least relax or enjoy it a bit (even if it’s just a while).
People pretending to care. They might as well just stop pretending because people can see right through it. They are either following one another or trying to make themselves look better…
why don’t they just admit they don’t care? That’s too hard to do isn’t it?