My name is Jonas

While my name is Jonas i constantly feel like Jonah from the bible. Stuck in a whale and i try praying but i always find that when i think I’m out it was just mania. My parents never listen to what i say. I think maybe i should be homeless at the shelter just to avoid my triggers. They think I’m tripping on drugs, and i am heavily addicted to DXM. I can’t smoke weed because I’m on probation. Because of me being a fool and hitting my ex for cheating on me. I’ve lost myself and all sense of reality. My family doesn’t believe me about the sexual abuse. Just because I’ve tried so hard in life to not be a loser. And my brother is a loser. He is very recluse and this fact prevents them from believing he could’ve ever taken advantage of me. What’s even more fucked is I’m hearing this voice named Jeff in my head and he only wants for me to be okay. He’s mischievous but we’ve managed to find a common ground. I smoke cigarettes and take CCCs for him and he keeps me from being hurt. I know this sounds crazy but it’s my life.