The dictators forced me to get a haircut so that I wouldn’t look like a long-haired stoner dude. Hey, not my fault I’m tall and and shaped like a rod. Plus they took my button-down shirts
Yay, the lady chopped off my hair to my chin, so now my hair curves at the end. My grandma says it’s “cute” and “brings out the color of my eyes.”
Yay, my aunt said I look tacky and that I was just trying to piss off my conservative grandmother, and that this was for attention because I (sullenly) endured dresses when I was five.
I’m a selfish piece of shit for complaining. I’m sorry. You guys have real problems. You guys are struggling with depression. I’m over depression, thanks to Prozac.
You guys are wonderful, awesome, troubled people. Sorry I made you listen to a pointless teen rant
Eat some carrots and cry some tears
Hahaha ho ho ha
7 comments
I look like 13. By the end of the week I’ll have turned 19.
I get your pain. I was made to cut my hair years ago. I miss it.
Hi Sk100…you could go the other direction and get a boy-cut, very short hair. No your problems are concerns are no less important than anyone else’s, so don’t diminish yourself or your feelings.
My father used to make me feel I has nothing of value to say, while I’m not sure it was entirely his influence or my own, but I had low self-esteem and for my entire life I’ve struggled with feelings that what I have to say is not important and no one wants to hear it.
I can instantly spot weakness/insecurity in others, rather we all can…however I have trouble seeing it in myself. It’s been pretty devastating particularly in relationships…I was too shy to approach some girls I really wanted to date. Sorry didn’t mean to make it all about myself…but this applies to us both.
Your religious nutjob family-like nearly all religious freaks expect everyone to conform to their expectations and will make your life difficult if you don’t. At this age, I’d say go with the flow for now if you can. Then as you get older, you can get more independence, until you can live on your own.
You can also go in ‘stealth mode’…dress like a girl in front of them, be more boyish outside….whatever makes you happy.
The thing is, I feel like shit right now. I’m comfortable in guy-mode, but it screws over my self-esteem when my family talks down like that. I’m not hurting myself or anyone else by dressing a certain way.
LOL, stealth mode, I like that idea. I’ll put on booty shorts and a push-up bra and ask my family if they’re at least happy I’m “girly.” They can have their cake and eat it, too.
I love my family, sounds weird, but they’re pretty nice within certain religious boundaries. Anything outside of their comfort zone just triggers scorn.
This might seem weird, but, I didn’t always act like this. I’ve assumed a ton of personalities, trying to fit in, try to seem and feel like a girl, but it never worked. I couldn’t bear going out in public. Never talked to anyone. Depression, self-harm, hospital stay.
Hey, now I’m acting like a dude, and I’m not afraid of people anymore.
Thanks secondlife. Sorry that you had a rough time growing up. Good luck with everything
No problem Skeleton100-ya children are fragile things and if not handled properly can grow up and lead broken lives, trying to overcome that damage that was done to them when they were weak, powerless, unable to care for themselves. And compared to many kids, I had it relatively good.
Ya I think you were just trying to ‘find yourself’ and your place in the world. As you’re going through school, people love to stick labels on you…none of them fit me. I excelled at academics as well as athletics…however like you, I was trying to figure out who I was.
That phrase ‘life begins at 40’ is incredibly accurate. Once I passed that critical mark, I really felt I’ve become who I always wanted to be and should’ve. I looked back at my life at my errors that cost me years, decades of suffering and how I could’ve easily made it better…mostly by listening to others, when they offered the right answers.
But I was arrogant, thought I knew better, thought due to my superior intellect, that I’d beat the odds, get rich quick and live a fantastic life. I came close, very close a few times to achieving my goals. However my mistake was not that I tried, but that I didn’t change tactics when I was failing. For instance I ran a business, made some money, but then it flopped. I should’ve went right back to working, but I delayed until I experienced major crises, that had I been working at the time, I would’ve easily sailed through.
Sorry getting back to you, ya people aren’t all evil or good (usually), so I would say make the most of your time. I realize today, your gender identity is a huge deal for you, but given how young you are, you can always set it aside and go back to transitioning at a better time in your life. Just play the part for now, do well at school, find a career, live on your own, then you can be who you want to be.
I’m not in your head, so I don’t know how important it is to you. For me to become an transgirl, sometimes my desire was a 10/10, I was very intent on doing it. Then in my more ‘sober’ and ‘realistic/pragmatic’ states, the desire was more of a 4/10, just because I felt it was very difficult to do-high price to pay and with low rewards.
It’s sort of like wanting to be an NBA star, you may have the desire, you might have the talent, but if you’re not tall enough or don’t have the right credentials and connections, then it’s next to impossible to ‘make it.’ Of course transitioning is a much more achievable goal for many people, esp. if they’re already androgynous, but it’s good to weigh on the pros/cons. In my case, as you know there were just too many cons to take the plunge.
Hi Skeleton100,
I read your last couple of posts. I just want to say although you may be preoccupied with your identity, and how you want to express yourself, like secondlife and some others have suggested, these are not the most important things in life. I know you would disagree, but for a minute try to see why others would have different perspectives. You are still young. The most important thing now is to do well in school, try not having to confront your folks, go to college, study something useful, and have a career, then you decide what you want to do, with money you earned yourself, and nobody can stop you.
I struggled with similar issues for the most part of my life. But I was to shy to express what I wanted and just conformed for the most part. Thanks to lack of information back in the days when the Internet just started getting popular, I hid in stealth mode and otherwise appeared normal.
I finished college, without killing myself (I didn’t know how due to lack of information), and landed a career in the Silicon Valley. For every one who achieves fame for self expression, how many turned into weirdo outcasts who cannot find a job and ending up doing porn to pay for surgery and then homeless when their youth is gone? I still lament the fact I cannot be what I prefer to be, but that’s something I can never truly become. I just need to find something else I also like to do to keep me from depressed.
I’m not very good at writing, but please do not waste your energy and time at this point of your life on what you are allowed to wear and what not, that’s just a side game in a greater game of life. Life is about winning the whole Marathon, not about what color of jersey.
Thanks for reading, and wish you the best.
Look, I’m not devoting my whole life and soul, yada yada, to becoming a boy. I don’t identify as anything, really. Look – I’m 14, confused, frustrated.
I won’t undergo surgery or anything. The point of that angry, crude rant of mine – I feel comfortable in guy clothing. I’m not transgender. I just like the ambiguity, you know? I like being mistaken for a dude. Feels closer to myself.
I work hard in school. I make pretty decent grades. I’m going to begin working this summer and put in savings. Realistically, I’ll end up as an English teacher. I don’t want to teach English, but, well. I’d love to write for a career – screenwriting, etc. – but that’s such a tough industry to succeed in.
Sorry, off-topic. I just don’t see the taboo in wearing different clothes. I feel comfortable dressed like a dude. I feel comfortable acting like a dude.
We are all here for complaining our problems. Our real problems. Every problem is real.
I’m a 25-yo woman. Last week, I met some new friends and spent a day with them. After hanging out for hours, I found out I had been mistaken for a 15-yo boy.
I actually like to be fluid. I enjoy my push-up bras and skirts as much as the boy shirts I bought from kids department.
But at the end of the day, I still ask, who or what do I want to be? Does everyone settle for a certain image so that they can be perceived easily by society? If someone promises me I could get a girlfriend if I stick to one image, will I do it?