I really don’t want to die but I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to escape everything that haunts me in my head and my life. I just can’t stand my thoughts and insecurities, therapy and medication are a bunch of horseshit I know this firsthand as I’ve been on countless medications etc. The only thing that breeds a positive change are life CHANGES and improvement. Nothing gets better if nothing ever changes. I don’t want to fucking hold myself back anymore, I want to be free. I feel like I’m imprisoned in my mind and it’s been too long like this, can’t even find solace in my sleep anymore as I have wild dreams almost every night from violent sexual fantasies, memories of a past lover I had for years, or just weird abstract hellish nightmares. No more. Not one more night of terror, not one more day of pain.
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2 comments
Sorry to hear this. I feel your pain. That sucks that you can’t even escape the pain when you sleep. Just try to keep your head up is what every one keeps telling me. Good luck hope you feel better soon.
I too can’t escape my pain when I sleep. . And it is one of the worst things especially when u wake up from ur sleep becuz ur nightmare caused u to have A Bad anxiety attack!! Ahh it’s so not the fun u want to have at 3 in the morning.. Well, I wish u better days and I know u don’t know me but u do need to know u have a friend in me I’ll be here if u need somebody who understands to vent too.