Like 1 and half hour ago I tried to hang myself for the second time. I got home from work and I started feeling that fucking pain again and I felt in that fucking despair where I just see black. I just couldn’t stand beeing alive. So I went to supermarket and bought a botle of wine to relax a litle before doing it. So I tied the rope around my neck and I tried to hang myself from the bedrom’s door. I was listening to Lady Starlight and I was dreaming that soon I would be in the sky, shining like a litle star. But when the air started missing on my lungs my body reacted and I stood up feeling worse than I was at the begining. I was feeling desperate. So I got in the bathroom and i cut my left arm with a razor 4 times. The cut seems small but it bleeded a lot. I’m feeling so scared right now. I’ll have to cover it tomorrow morning because I can’t show up like that at the firm. Sorry guys, I just needed to put this out of my heart. I don’t have any friends and I can’t talk to family. We don’t even live in the same state.
First time I cut myself
4 comments
Fucking despair where you just see black = bad.
Bottle of wine = good.
Relax = very good!
Rope around your neck = eh, not so good.
Lady Starlight = awesome.
Wait, are you talking about the singer or the Scorpions song? Well, both pretty cool.
Dreaming of being in the sky like a star = absolutely beautiful.
The rest… not so good.
You’re alive = AWESOME.
Tomorrow you can try the same routine but without the bad parts. How’s that grab you? 🙂
Seeing black and hanging yourself sucks.
You said that you have to hide your scars and that your family lives far away. It sounds like you feel isolated and that you have no one to turn to. I don’t know your story since I can’t find anything else under your name, but know that we’re more than happy to be here for you. We want to be here for you. You don’t have to suffer alone, join the club, and let us help if we can in some way.
It sounds like tomorrow’s gonna be a pain, waking up and hiding from everyone, so let us know if we can help somehow. Ask for advice. Vent. Tell your story. Anything. After all, this is the internet, so you’re free to be who ever you are without judgment.
Hope today gets a little better though. If not, know we’re here no matter how painful life seems and we won’t judge.
Where u at Salt? I’m in Iowa. Can we chat? If so we can exchange kik let me know
First of all don’t kill yourself.
Second, don’t put yourself down
Third, don’t cut /:
Fourth, you should talk to me…have a kik?
My name is RainCameAsRomans