Welp, had my 12 packs of the “silver bullet”

In all seriousness, I do want to die, every much so. BUT I’m afraid of failing or doing something stupid that will leave me in much worse shape than I am now. At first I figured a shotgun with 00 buckshot would do the trick. It probably would. According to lostallhope.com it’s 99% effective. But than I started seeing videos of people who where not so lucky and ended up with there face all fucked up or suffered longer than they should have. If I am going to choose that route, which I haven’t totally excluded yet, I know where to aim – in the mouth at a 45 degree angel. I want a more peaceful death. Numbethal is the prize but very hard, if not impossible, to obtain, especially in America. My second option is ******** gas fed though an exit bag. I can obtain it but am still working on getting the money and a way to hide it from my aunt and uncle. I’m planning on moving out so I can have what I need without interruption. My biggest fear is if the exit bag doesn’t work and the ******** slips though it, leaving me brain damaged but conscious. This is why, if I go that route, to be in a very I closed space. The tank should be able to have a flow of ******** for 20 mins, while death should occur within 7. I think a lot about “what ifs”. This will be the most important choice I make in my entire life. I gotta do it right the first time.