Alright well I can say I’m ok but I’d be lying. Then again it might be better to lie and smile and act as if I am ok and nothing is wrong… this is what I tell myself when ever anyone asks are you ok…or how are you… I guess its time I be honest. Well its been happening since age 6. My mom ain’t in the room, or my at school teaching, at the store whichever. So me and my dad and brother are home. We seem to get in arguements alot my brother overreacts easily as well as my dad next thing i know I am being held down, choking, getting screamed in the face cussed at called horrible horrible names and it hurts like hell man. By both of them. I will never forget this one time. I was 11. My brother was 10. He got mad at me, and chased me and held my throat against the well punching and kicking me. My dad? sitting at the table, just watching, not doing anything really. When my brother finally let go, and between breaths of air, I asked my dad why he didn’t stop CJ. He said “You deserved it.”
Now when I try to tell my mom whenever this crap happens, they both say I am just wanting attention, I’m lying, I live in my own little world every time. My mom never believes me. Now, sophomore year, It hasn’t gotten easier tho I don’t let them attack me anymore I run out the house before they do anything. But I still get called names and I am nothing I am a burden I don’t matter. I get told that. over the years, everything they”ve said, every punch, kick, bruise, cuss, words, lonely time, tears, alone, everything I start to believe. My self esteem keeps going lower and lower till here I am doubting myself in everything I do and doubting in those around me. And I try to act like I am ok. I act overlyhappy around all my friends cause I don’t wanna burden them with how horrible it really is. Plus if I try to explain, noone really understands. My parents don’t either. My mom thinks I am just being overdramatic. I am not. I try and try but every night I end up crying so hard willing the pain to go away. Why doesn’t God help it go away. I have been asking Him to help me for several years. And I just I keep trying to stay patient just wait 2 more years till you outta here, but I just can”t man. I wanna go live with a friend or family member for a bit but I don”t know how to be able to I doubt my mom will understand and I don’t really want her say in it any of them. I think about dying sometimes but then I say no I don”t wanna die. I wanna live. I wanna be kissed in the rain. I wanna become a vet. I wanna be married, have kids, have a pet Cocker spaniel, visit another country. Go to England. I wanna live! But I need help. I feel so lost, and my bestfriend and her family are moving to Tennessee this summer and they are my 2nd family. Tia always helps me with everything, she knows everything, she is on the phone as I cry telling me its gonna be fine I’m here I love you. And I don’t know what to do anymore. Please respond….anybody…
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If you are experiencing a physically (or even emotionally) abusive situation, maybe there’s someone at school you can talk to about it – guidance counselor or a teacher you trust? (In the US, you can also call the 24/7/365 Boys & Girls Town Hotline, 800 448 3000)
NOBODY deserves to have to live like that. The home is supposed to be safe place that’s a refuge from the world, a launchpad from which to grow into a healthy, happy human being before having to face the world. That doesn’t sound like the case for you, as for so many other regulars to this site, and at the same time it makes me both sad and mad.
I hope others will jump in here with more helpful comments, but in the meantime, don’t give up!
I’m so so sorry your family treats you that way. What they’re doing is horrific. Have you told anyone apart from your mum? I could understand why you wouldn’t, but there are people who would take it much more seriously. Most people will see it as a form of abuse.
I know being separated from your best friend will be incredibly painful, but I’m sure she’ll still be there on the other line to talk to. Meanwhile I really hope you can move away from home for a bit. You shouldn’t have to stay in an environment that’s making you feel so bad.
Don’t die. Not when you have all those things to live for. Don’t let your family take your life away from you. You’re a good person. You deserve to have a good life, one where you know you’re loved and needed. There are lots of supportive people here and probably lots who can relate to what you’re going through. I can’t imagine what it must be like, but I think you’re really brave to make it this far. You deserve more help in all this. You shouldn’t be going through it all alone. I hope posting here helps a bit, and I hope you find someone in your life to help you with the things going on at home. I fully believe you can make it through this difficult time and into a better one.
Absolutely disgusting, you dont deserve to be treated like this…
if you were my friend in a nearby area id take you right in!
I recommend getting counseling and advice you to live in a special protected enviroment where you do get the love you deserve
You matter and someone does care, i care 🙂
Love Funanya <3