I’ll take a medal Whiskered. Wow, this was some post, especially about asphyxiating yourself in class. That is a really specific obsession. Why does it make you feel better?
I can’t remember why I started choking myself. I’m sure I could figure out by growing through my old journals. But as for currently, I’ve no real clue.
I do know that I used to frequently do it when I was very stressed, and it always had this element of self-punishment to it.
Think of it this way: I’ve never cut myself in my life. I’ve been a hopeless depressive for years, and yet the only scars on my arms are from my cat.
I don’t burn myself, either. Or do any of those other traditional methods of self-harm, because they all leave marks. I needed a way to inflict harsh, painful punishments on my own flesh, without all of the problems that come with leaving scars that others can see. So I decided to target the most vulnerable, sacred part of my body I could think of: my throat.
I do it because it’s pain. I need the pain. I want the pain. I deserve the pain.
I will also take a medal, I totally get the daily struggle too. it’s not like this goes away over night. Keep writing, we’ll keep reading and responding
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I’ll take a medal Whiskered. Wow, this was some post, especially about asphyxiating yourself in class. That is a really specific obsession. Why does it make you feel better?
Medal given, Hazy.
I can’t remember why I started choking myself. I’m sure I could figure out by growing through my old journals. But as for currently, I’ve no real clue.
I do know that I used to frequently do it when I was very stressed, and it always had this element of self-punishment to it.
Think of it this way: I’ve never cut myself in my life. I’ve been a hopeless depressive for years, and yet the only scars on my arms are from my cat.
I don’t burn myself, either. Or do any of those other traditional methods of self-harm, because they all leave marks. I needed a way to inflict harsh, painful punishments on my own flesh, without all of the problems that come with leaving scars that others can see. So I decided to target the most vulnerable, sacred part of my body I could think of: my throat.
I do it because it’s pain. I need the pain. I want the pain. I deserve the pain.
Doesn’t it leave bruises?
Only rarely, believe it or not.
Besides that, bruises fade and disappear. Scars are forever.
I will also take a medal, I totally get the daily struggle too. it’s not like this goes away over night. Keep writing, we’ll keep reading and responding
Thank you, Lacedwithpain. Medal given.
I’m sorry you also have to face this kind of struggle. Best wishes to you.