What if I told you I was suicidal?
You would say, “Suicide is for the weak. The ones who can’t bear to live anymore.”
But I’m not weak. I’m choosing to kill myself. Does that show weakness?
What if I told you I had nothing to live for anymore?
You’d tell me the meaning of life is to be happy. What about my parents and friends?
What if I told you I had no friends?
“What friends?” I’d ask. “The ones who think I’m just a moody *****? The girls who are too immature to understand what depression is?”
What if I told you I hated my life?
“Life’s a blessing,” you’d say.
No, life’s a curse. Death is a blessing.
But you have everything going for you.
No, I have nothing going for me, except depression. Depression is not my friend, but it’s the only thing that comes back everyday. Depression is hurtful, but it’s always there.
What if I told you…
4 comments
I belive that suicide is from sadness. I also believe that suicide is when even time itself forgets about you. Because Time helps but the problem about that is we do not know how long it will be untill time helps could be a day a year or in my case 9 years and still ongoing. Time is a Small word but the Definition of it could be infinite like a line that never ends. I relate heavily to every question that you asked. Lonliness, regret,shame and pain are high factors that make up a sad life where you become driven to the edge to try and kill yourself like myself. Another pain is failing at everything no matter how hard you try watching others succed as you fail. Difficult especially losing a parent. And ending a good friendship.I do not know how it feels to go through a day without feeling empty alone and depressed. Yea you can say it’s like having a friend that’s always there.
What if I told you that I read your entire post because you mattered? Because you do.
What if I told you that I feel the same?
I’m here because I’m looking for answers, I guess. Or to read and learn from other people’s mistakes on how to succeed in my next suicide attempt… because i’ve made greate mistakes and I feel tired. But it also kind of hurts me to read how other people feel, when they feel this bad. And I wish I could tell you something to help you feel a greater hope, than the one that made you write this. But I am hurting too. So I can only tell you that I really wish you can find a way to see a light ahead. you don’t have to be the best at anything or to have a valid reason to live, to be worthy of living. You don’t even have to want to live to deserve to be happy. So I wish you peace and I hope it reaches you. Smile, that helps a little.