Is it wrong?

Maybe something online? You could call your ob/gyn. They would know.

Where are you?

Oh. I don’t have any resource information about this topic for south america. There are a few around here they typically appear in the evenings who are south american. I’m hoping they see this and reply.

I hate to agree with you, but he is most likely having fun with lots of girls. Which totally sucks. I mean sucks in the kind of way that makes a black hole seem shallow. But you need to start walking forward in your life. As you walk you will leave him behind. It won’t be some kind of magical thing that happens over night either, it will be slow, and bumpy. Some days will be decent, some will be awful but one day you will wake up and forget to think about him. Then two days will go by and eventually he will be a memory. If you do it right he will be a pleasant memory, because while you were with him it was very pleasant, it is just the moving on part that is not so pleasant.

As for the child you lost, he or she (we called ours little lentil we never know if lentil was a boy or girl) will always be part of your heart. Little lentil is a very sweet part of my heart. I like to think she never left me. I still choke up thinking about her and it happened 8 years ago.

It may help to think of him as a boy and even give him a name. It helped me a lot. The what if’s were a loop in my mind made worse knowing that it might have been my last chance to have children since I was in early menopause and my doctor told me things wre pretty much over.

It takes a long time for the hormones to work their way out of your body, which contributes to the what if thoughts and the grief, add to that the fact the man you love left you high and try, and frankly it is no surprise you find yourself here at SP on a random Tuesday night. I will tell you it does get better, but you need to let the grief out, you need to allow yourself to feel and and work through it. talking make a huge difference, it really does. It makes it real and when it is real your mind can better process it.

That kind of grief is normal for what you have just gone through. There are a lot of people on this forum that completely understand what you are going though. I personally do not think you are over reacting. I did some pretty odd shit after I miscarried. Thing that I am a little embarrassed to admit but I’m going to tell you, just so you don’t feel alone.

I obsessed about the fact that all the tiny babies that died through miscarriage were being buried without decent burial clothing. So I called up all the hospitals around me and offered to donate tiny funeral shrouds for any family that needed them. Custom made by your truly. I offered selections in organic, brocade and fleece. I kid you not, I actually did this. The hospitals were very understanding. I told them why I was doing it, that I had miscarried and there were mothers out there that were grieving and didn’t have funeral shrouds for their tiny babies. They thanked me and told me they would discuss it with their hospital administration. They never got back to me, but that is okay, it helped me work through my grief knowing that I had offered to help all those women out there.

and you don’t need to love again. Not now not ever. Unless you are ready, and you may not be ready for an awful long time. That is okay too. Work on loving yourself and walking forward.

That is to be expected. Ride it like a tsunami. I like to think of that kind of grief as a tidal wave. It comes crashing in and crashes over and over and I feel like it is never going to end, that dying is the only way to stop the pain. But then the waves become less and less until finally, thankfully, the ocean is warm and gentle and I float on my back and it is ok, not great, no hallmark moment mind you, but OK. Being OK is the start of rebuilding your life.

But it takes time. If you feel like you are going to act on this, just simply go to the hospital. Don’t think about it, just do it. You can keep posting here too, the folks here are really understanding. There are always people lurking around. There are some fun posts too, that get really silly and sometimes just plain hilarious. When you are ready have some fun. It is okay to laugh, smile then fall down weeping. It is part of the process. You can get through this. Part of the trick is to just let yourself throw the human card, because you are a wonderful human that has been through tragedy. Only you can decide how that plays out, what that looks like. There is only one right way to work through this, that is your own way, not anyone else’s. I like to tell the people on this forum that they are just the right kind of crazy.