All battles can be conquered however it seems depression is a never ending battle. Like there’s no end to restless nights, self haterd, low energy and so on… The battles could be endless. However many people believe we should just put on a smile and everything will fade away and everything will be cured, or take happy pills and everything is fine. I don’t think many people actually understand depression even those who go through it. I think we all suffer in separate ways, however someone just being there for us all to be a whole is something we don’t appreciate till late… Anyway rant […]
I’m struggling hard, I feel trapped with my own thoughts. It’s not like I can express them to anyone because if I vent to my to my partner it’ll cause problems, if I vent to my family it’ll cause problems, if I vent to friends it’ll cause problems but the longer I hold it all in the more the feeling to self harm grows and I’m not sure what to do anymore, do I want to live or just die
Do you ever feel like you don’t belong, that even though people say they care and love you that it feels like it’s fake that just because they know your struggling they feel they have to say it. That they don’t really mean it. That it sounds like it’s forced. Because it does for me I don’t feel like I belong in my own home I feel like I just need to be here to feed and clothe everyone. I guess if I felt pretty I’d be a cinderlla in my own family. Just without the fancy godmother. Most days I don’t even consider my […]
I haven’t spoke lately, in fact I havent been on here lately for a while. I thought I finally beat depression, I thought I wouldn’t get the self harm thoughts again. I thought “yes I’ve finally set myself free”. But it isn’t that simple as that is it. I must say I am proud of myself I haven’t self harmed for a while, so there is still hope out there. However the thought still crosses my mind. What would one more do, one more line, one more scar to add what harm would that do. But depression is a black hole acting as like its […]
Sometimes its hard to be stuck in your mind, whether its being in a crowd full of people or even in an empty room your always going to be stuck with your own thoughts. I sometimes wonder whether what this life has to hold for me.
Ive wrote on here before saying that my depression has gone but sometimes i can just sit down for five minutes and all those depressive thoughts coming smashing through, making me wonder what it would feel like to do one more cut, one more line, one last time of feeling free.
I think thats why i like the senstion […]
Everyone has a weakness that will always be there but what people dont realise is that, that weakness can be turn into something that makes your stronger so why not just put down the knifes and blades and just think of having the upper hand, whether or not its bullies that make you hurt yourself or an abusive relationship or even because you dont feel beautiful, all those negative words people say to you arent true im sure that everyone is beautiful whether or not its on the inside and out, everyone has got strength in them to carry on surviving, so just […]
Depression will always come back and bite you when you least expect it but you need to be stronger than that urge to hide away and fear the world because the world is not always that bad, indeed you will get people who will judge you even laugh at you whether it’s for the fact you dress different or even talk different, hell you could even act different but that’s your choice. You have to believe this is not the end no matter how much people will put you down because everyone is different not one person is the same as another. This is what […]
We all have a safe place whether or not it’s a treehouse, a closet or even a space in your bedroom there’s always somewhere to go, but not with feelings. Depression is on of those things you’ll never get rid of, you’ll think your fine for either a couple if days, weeks or even months could be years but some day it’ll come back and bite you, and there’s no hiding no matter what you plan to do. Always faking that happy smile so no one asks you questions, so you don’t feel like your bothering people with all this self hate and sadness. People […]
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, but I guess people have habits that die old. I’m tired of staring at a blank wall and pretending everything Is alright. It’s getting too hard to carry on walking around the world with a smile on my face when all I feel is the sadness and memories on the inside but I feel as if, if I show a smile on my face then people around me wont have to worry about me, I know that people don’t want to be bothered by my feelings. I just want an escape I want to end all […]
I don’t think i can do this any more, i feel as if I’m just annoying everyone and that no one needs me any more which is true my father don’t even want to spend time with me any more. His started speaking in French so I don’t understand him when his talking to other family members but i understand what he says. Maybe leaving this wretched world will give everyone peace especially me. I can’t take the pain from being the mistake in the family, i mean i know i am the mistake it’s everyday i get told i am. I didn’t ask to […]
Depression isn’t a mental illness many people understand, this is the problem with society because depression is just a big joke to some. The mental pain of knowing your unloved and that your not beautiful, you could go a whole day with getting told your beautiful but when it comes to the night and your all alone sitting down in bed all you can think of is the hurt and the abuse you get within your head, the voices telling you what they want you to hear. No one should feel this way, it’s horrible being in thus bug black hole with no ending or […]
The problem is when you think you overcome the depression it just comes back 2x harder. I keep thinking about different ways of how I could escape this life and end up dead. I’m stuck in this black hole again and I’ve sunk even deeper then before I don’t even see anyway of getting out and I’m even scaring myself with how I’m isolating myself , I’m normally the girl that will do anything for a dare and I do crazy stuff because I know how short life is.
People used to always tell me I looked like my sister… she was my best friend through out all the shit we went through, never leaving my side and always by me. She was my rock but then things just got way out of control and then we separated and it’s still so new to me because I’m not used to not seeing her or her not coming to me for advice … no one told us how hard it is to loose someone so close to you. I wish she could see me living my dream and be there cheering me on but I […]
When you come to think of those hard times you’ve been through you would think that you wouldn’t want it to happen again. Even though i have a boyfriend I know that i can’t lean on him when i’m upset or depressed because whats the point in bringing him down as well as myself… there is no point just because i have a fucked up life doesn’t mean i should fuck up anyone else’s and even though it pains me to write on here expressing my feelings i know that others have been feeling the same way as i have been and still am. Don’t […]
Me, myself was a very unfortuante person because I wasn’t the most popular girl in school, however when leaving school I was the most popular girl there and everyone wanted to be like me or be dating me. Yet when I was wishing to be like the popular kids I didnt realise how much they hated it, when I started being popular I loved it but I found out that I was missing the real me, I was like what people call a *****. Yet those wasn’t my intentions, however I don’t live in regret because I don’t regret anything in my life and this […]
You ever felt that low that you don’t even know how to cope anymore well I’ve reached that low now. It hurts that I’ve reached this low, I’ve made so many promises not to self harm again but I don’t know if I can keep them anymore. Hell I don’t even know what to do anymore please anyone if you’ve got any advice on what I can do to help myself please.
Why is it that you ruined my life every chance it goes good, why do you feel the need, you may have rasied me but that wasnt your job to do your job was to be a sister yet you never was you made my life hell. I was the one cleaning your puke up i was the one doing food shopping you thought i would never cope in this life but ive done well im managing my life right now arent i. Just do me a favour and leave my life to me you caused chaos when we was younger we never would of […]
take a blade to my wrist,
let it slide down my skin,
let it cut and show the red powerful blood
let that blade end my life, allow me to go in that cold dreadful bath
let me endure the pain i was meant for, let me endure the death thats meant to be
don’t allow me to be in pain, if you care so much allow this to happen
at least for me. let me lie down in the cold bath and let the blood trickle down my arms and wrists allow the blood loss to kill me
Can I do this? Can I keep on pretending that everything is alright when it’s not? Life is to hard to even carry on and yes I am a teenager but not with a young mind I know life is hard I know there will be struggles but when you have no-one beside you to help you through those struggles it gets tough and horrible like you can’t do anything good like your always in the wrong. Which possibly could be true that I can’t do anything right however if their not related to me why should they have the power of judging me by […]
is there any point in any of us being on this earth all it leads is people going into dispair and depression or hurt. Why do we have to go through this? There is no point in any of this no point in being here, i’ve finally reached my end sad to think really but i could end it without a batter of an eyelash, i don’t care about life anymore if you care to much you’ll just end up hurt. So please leave your comments and tell me whether you think life is worth living anymore
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