he got in my face. literally. my nose was basically touching his chest. he was twice my height. and i didnt care about any of that. i was tired of the sexist comments. the threats. i was fucking done. so i got to watch his head spin. im not typically one for fighting. in fact i will find reasons to stop it. but if you are going to say youll “take care of me” that my husband should “control me” that i must be “on my period” i will put my foot down! every fucking time. i sat down for years but ever since that […]
Abandoned
“I trusted you” she weeped, holding her chest her knees hit the ground. Her heart stung as it shattered into pieces. She could feel each shard pierce her deeper and deeper. The blood seeping through her snowy white shirt. Staining it a crimson red. “I trusted you” she repeated before laying down in a pool of blood to take her final breath.
Honestly I feel I could have done better but I can’t quite get it today. Oh well maybe I’ll try to rewrite it with more details at a later date.
I go to the therapists Sept 10th. She’s going to fill out a form so I can go see a psychiatrist. After that I’m going to get my diagnosis. If it’s as bad as I think it is I’m gonna drop everything and say I can’t be helped. I hope it goes well but I have my doubts. We’ll see.
i have 2 friends. one i dont talk to anymore but i will never forget. he moved away when we were in school together. but thats aside the point. my bf at the time had betrayed me. he told our friends about my depression. i didnt want to here it. i didnt want to be there. so i walked away. my friend came running after me. i knew he was there but i didnt turn around. i didnt want to hear it. he grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around. he hugged me and then help me at arms reach with his hands […]
getting high and drinking coffee liquor (which tastes amazing with chocolate milk). and feeling hated because of it. which just makes me feel worse and want to drink more. its an awesome cycle of fuck it.
I use to like it here. It was a safe haven filled with encouragement. Everyone helping another out when they are down. Now….its filled with hatred. Telling others it’s better off to keep things to themselves and death is so much better. Even going as far as actually helping them die. This isn’t the site it use to be.
When I left the therapists a few weeks ago I felt so hopeful. I thought it was finally going to be over. And now……if someone handed me a way out. I’d take it without a second thought. Each passing day gets worse and worse and I fear I’m infecting my friends and family.
My husband wants to get a tattoo. Ok not a big deal but…he wants to get a tattoo of MY NAME! Isn’t that like a rule? Don’t get your significant others name tattooed on you because things could end. And then your stuck with this name on your body “umm….yeah…..didn’t think that through” I’ve tried to talk him out of it but he insists on getting it. I really wish he wouldn’t. Anything can go wrong in a normal relationship, lets forget about adding mental problems to it. That just brings in a whole new mess of problems. I just feel like maybe…it isn’t his […]
Im a horrible wife. I was stupid to think i had changed. And it feels like it is only getting worse.
Stupid stupid stupid. It seems to be all I think about and now dream. nightmare? idk but I wish it would just stop. I’m trying so hard to change.
Why not try stronger drugs? I can get them if i want. Why not sell them? A few bucks would be nice. Why not sleep with a bunch of people? It could be fun. Why not…? We’re all gonna die anyway. Every single human. Either by our own hand, naturally, an accident or by another human (i put animal under naturally becuase its a hunger thing where human is because they hate you or an accident). Why not? Why does it all matter? Who cares what others think? On day we’re all going to be gone. And no ones going to care.
(I know i typically […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ogsp38nXvqk
The words some girls need to hear from their dads, but like me, the words were never voiced. I never got to hear the words “I’m proud of you” and he wasn’t there for me. He put me in a bubble. And so did she. Although I do mean it figuratively I also mean literally.
We were playing new super mario bros on the wii and i kept dying. He told me to stay in the bubble because i would just die again. So i put the remote down and just watched. Whenever we watched tv he would only pause it for himself.
He […]
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There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
we are always thinking about how awful it is but never take a second to see the good. so im going to take a minute and do just that.
thank you depression, because of you i know what it’s like to struggle and therefore i feel compassion for others.
thank you for not putting me in a rich family, for that i feel humble for what i do have.
we see the bad, day in and day out, but we forget that with evil there is good. we forget to look at the lessons the situations we are put into have taught us, therefore not […]
i just cant do it. i lost my life before it even started. i refuse to have a child even though i want one. i cant have my dream. i dont work well with people. friends. relationships. forget it. i have no reason to be here. this world is better off with one less me.
i cant be the only one out there. and im not talking about cutting or not eating. although i do both. i mean doing things that completely fuck up your life and you know it. but you dont care. you wish it upon yourself. you hang out with shady people. doing drugs. drinking. but why care. why does it matter. whats the worse that can happen. you wish to die anyway. why not just make it easier. slowly pushing yourself over the edge. just waiting for you to finally do it. to finally completely not care.
So who on here has a tattoo? Specifically on your wrist. Even better the wrist you cut on.
I want to get a tattoo just above my cuts. Basic. Black. A few words. “Remember that i love you” and a little butterfly above the R. Im told that it doesnt hurt. Its more of an irritation. And i just remembered….i cut. Well damn. My nerves are fucked. That would make it different from others who dont. Now the area that i cut is a lot more sensitive than where im actually going to get the tattoo. However its only about….idk say 5cm above them. Not very […]