Category:

Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

What am I doing?

by S6xoxo 6/22/2024

written by S6xoxo

I’ve written note after note over the last several years. Made plan after plan. Usually with the understanding that i won’t actually be able to follow through. Realistically, I know I still won’t. Tonight won’t be any different. So why am I stressed over whether or not to actually leave a note? Really its only for one person. Would my mom want an explanation? An apology? Will she know I want her to take my dog? That she’s the only one I trust to love him as much as I do? Or would all of that just hurt her more? Maybe i should just […]

6/22/2024 1 comment

frustrations

by plasticflower 6/16/2024

written by plasticflower

it’s been a long time. over 2 years, i think. many things have happened since my last post, and i am just about to explode from frustration and just, feeling bad in general.

i started a relationship, actually. it started and it also ended, both things happened because i chose it to be like that. basically, my partner cheated on me while we were long distance. i can’t lie, it was a punch to the gut, i never thought i’d end up like this, and i truly never saw it coming. after we had a few issues regarding communication and just me ending up at the […]

6/16/2024 0 comment

To live for the hope of it all

by Secretsolitude 5/31/2024

written by Secretsolitude

Hey,
I’m just another 17 year old, who, like most you, found this website when I typed in “smooth passages” on incognito mode after reading about 300 pages of ‘my heart and other black holes’ in one sitting yesterday.
Am I depressed ? I’m not sure.
(I’m not even sure if I’d know cause who tf decides what depression feels like ? shouldn’t it be different for everyone ? you look it up on the internet, the signs of depression, and stuff like ‘ Increased engagement in high-risk activities ‘ comes up. I think that’s bs. )
I have a ton of people who’d call […]

5/31/2024 1 comment

Inheritance – Mental Health

by Nusu Nusu 4/29/2024

written by Nusu Nusu

I think I have bipolar and only realised it this week, but am too scared to go the doctors to have this confirmed because I fear this may well push me over the edge.

Right now the suicide demons aren’t on top of me, but they aren’t too far off at the realisation of this new mental health condition sent to test me.

Am not sure that I can cope with this new awareness of sickness – or if I adopt a glass half full approach – “life challenge.”

It was my brother that asked me whether I thought I might have […]

4/29/2024 0 comment

Advise

by RedAndBlack 4/15/2024

written by RedAndBlack

I have no idea what to do or who to ask, so here I am. I have a friend, one of my best friends, although I haven’t known her for long, we have just recently gotten really close over these past few months. I have known her for about 2 years as more mutual friends. I have noticed recently that she has been really insecure about her looks, her body and anything about her, and has also recently been skipping meals. I know the signs, as I had previously a few years ago really struggled with depression and an ED. I am mostly recovered now, […]

4/15/2024 1 comment

I’m not good and never will be

by Virus.Found 3/17/2024

written by Virus.Found

Why is it, that I get the urge to search up old friends and no one ever tried to find me? They know, where to find me but I’m not that special I guess..

I’m gonna give myself yet another gastric inflammation from all the mental effing stress. I have finally tried to do little attempts to talk to people besides my 2 friends again and yeah, surprise. For the millionth time, I am only an interesting person for a few days max. Most days, it didn’t even bother me but today hit really hard. It’s so bad I am feeling sick to my stomach.

I have […]

3/17/2024 1 comment

alone

by taliena 3/11/2024

written by taliena

im lonely and im desperate for any kind of affection or attention
I just feel stuck and disconnected from everything and I just want to talk to someone but there’s nobody here for me to talk to
it feels like I’m just a bother to people
I wish I was loved like those perfect girls

3/11/2024 6 comments

Im so tired….

by Braindamage 1/20/2024

written by Braindamage

I cant take much more. I’ts like I’ve ruined all of my relationships and somehow my rock bottom became even deeper. I am constantly thinking about dying. But I know it would harm everyone in my family. But how much of a difference would it make because Im always selfish anyways. Ive tried to change and just when I thought I made some progress its like I go 10 steps backwards within a day. I don’t want to try anymore. I’m exhausted. I want and don’t want to die at the same time. I am constantly at war with myself and my emotions, all the […]

1/20/2024 6 comments

life sucks but it can get better

by eyefly6 11/27/2023

written by eyefly6

This society is so brainwashed and ignorant. They tell men that expressing emotions is feminine. Another problem is telling men ”what a real man is”. Men are not robots. We are human beings that deserve to be loved.

I never had a good childhood. I forgot many of my memories a long time ago. I’ve been suicidal for a long time but I can easily hide it. No individual will expect me to do it. Honestly. I never wanted to die. I just don’t to want live a horrible life.

My mom died of cancer(when I was 10) so her friend adopted […]

11/27/2023 2 comments

Addictive Soda

by eternaldarkness 11/24/2023

written by eternaldarkness

This post is about soda- yes, the soda you buy at stores.

So I was at the store yesterday, and I never buy soda (haven’t bought ACTUAL soda in YEARS) but they had a sale on soda- and I bought the 0 sugar 0 caffeine Ginger Ale. It’s pretty much the only mainstream soda I would buy as soda is obviously bad for you. But even 0 sugar 0 caffeine 0 HFCS is still bad and addictive.

IDK what’s in this bottle that’s addictive bc it’s usually the sugar, caffeine and HFCS, but it’s still addictive bc I drank like half the 2L […]

11/24/2023 12 comments

by Amber98Charlotte 9/22/2023

written by Amber98Charlotte

I didn’t realize how deep a mother wound can go – every day it is becoming even more suffocating. It’s like you need some gas to stay alive and instead of oxygen, someone has veen making you inhale something poisonous and you breath it in and it keeps you alive.

Yes, I guess in the recent past, this fear has terribly set in, almost hauntingly that I will eventually end up being alive; that life will not stop abruptly even though I have now mastered the art of living day to day. No amount of hurt, anxiety, some low point is enough to kill me. It’s […]

9/22/2023 1 comment

There is no meaning of life

by niki 9/15/2023

written by niki

There is no meaning of life. We just exist, and die. And life goes on, and on, and on. For million, billion of years, etc etc etc.

We are just a speck of dust in the vast universe, in the grand scheme of things.

Of course, 90% (or 99%?) of people (human beings) will always try to find or give ‘meaning/purpose’ in their own insignificant lives, because the reason is simple: it’s survival instinct. Human beings (people) will (usually) try to keep living, keep surviving, no matter what. It’s evolutionary. It’s in human nature.
Even if it means people (humans) will create anything as their toxic positivity […]

9/15/2023 9 comments

Little brothers…

by Virus.Found 7/7/2023

written by Virus.Found

Dear little brother, you are so annoying sometimes. I know, that’s kinda your job. But we’re adults (sorta).

He’s that kind of person who just complaints about everything I do! I’m just going about my day and he nit-picks ‘quirks’ and turns them into something ugly. “Why do you do that?” <- basically this, all the freaking time

I have clouds over my head enough as it is and you’re adding towards an comfortable space that I have build, with just misery.

Tough to admit, that I hate that trait about you. Maybe with happiness comes a different view on life for ya.

7/7/2023 0 comment

He left again, probably for good

by angelskindoll 5/31/2023

written by angelskindoll

The one person i’ve ever felt remotely comfortable and able to speak to left me again, I don’t understand why, it’s been a month so far. I managed to work through some feelings and sent him a letter. He told me not to contact him and I wont anymore but I deserve better than how he left me. Maybe. Idk it doesn’t matter cus I did it, now i’m fully alone, he’s almost certainly not going to read it.

i’m never going to get the satisfaction of everything finally ‘clicking’ for him, for him to realise he’s fully capable of working things out with […]

5/31/2023 0 comment

Counting Coins

by Virus.Found 5/6/2023

written by Virus.Found

When the pennies are so hard, that they’re crushing you…

I got a whiff of what owning some money feels like and it lessened my depression, because I went out more, to explore and buy a little something for myself. I still wear clothes from when I was 15 years old. (I just turned 25) Social contacts go up as well. A lady from eBay came by my home to drop off a Blu-Ray Player ’cause mine broke, she was nice.

Now my Mom’s going to be in a tough spot money wise and I’m afraid my money will go to the usual survival shit again. I’m […]

5/6/2023 1 comment

End date

by Braindamage 5/1/2023

written by Braindamage

I’ve decided on an end date for myself. August 31st. This is the date of the next Blue Moon. Of course the stargazing conditions have to be perfect. Im not sure why I chose this. Maybe its because I want to go out on a beautiful night. I know this time I can’t back out. I won’t. I’m so tired. I love my mom and sister and the one friend I have but I can’t do this anymore. Perhaps I may find a reason to stay by the time the Blue Moon comes around but I highly doubt it. I am trying to keep my […]

5/1/2023 17 comments

Update on My Thoughts

by usyra 4/8/2023

written by usyra

I’ve made a lot of progress so far but I still have a long way to go. Although I won’t think of taking any drastic steps anymore, I sometimes still find myself looking in that direction sometimes. I fear that my drastic step will cause a chain reaction, bringing more shame to my mom than ever. My brother will blame himself and might do something to himself. My mom has already tried attempting suicide decades ago. With me and my brother hypothetically gone, my mom might think she doesn’t have a purpose to be in this world anymore. So it feels like there is a […]

4/8/2023 0 comment

Daughter

by oldscull 4/7/2023

written by oldscull

My dearest Daughter,

I’m sorry for the tragedies in the past several years, many of them my fault.

Below is a list of my sorries:

I’m sorry that I fought with your mom all those years.
I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to keep brother alive.
I’m sorry for having depression and anxiety and not being a father to you.
I’m sorry for embarrassing you in public with my anxiety/panics.
I’m sorry for making others around you in public feel awkward because I have crooked eyes, high-pitched voice and other unattractive attributes.
I’m sorry for being the black sheep of my family.
I’m sorry that you had to see how law enforcement treats/abuses me.
I’m […]

4/7/2023 24 comments

Waiting like a dog

by Virus.Found 3/14/2023

written by Virus.Found

Super lonely today.. guess I’ll turn off my phone for the day, since nobody has been wanting to talk lately… Gonna blast my mind with the new Sims 4 update. I should give everyone hugs in there 😀 I hope it’ll stop all the ache.

-from the one, who had to go off their meds again

3/14/2023 1 comment

Acceptance of an untimely death

by Melon_Lord 3/10/2023

written by Melon_Lord

I feel like at this point, I’m starting to accept that whatever is going on with me probably won’t ever go away.
No matter how much I wish it would or how much I plead for happiness, or beg for something, anything better, It’s not going anywhere.

A couple years back in my freshman year of high school my mother believed I was suicidal, but I don’t think that was the case.
I don’t think I’ve ever really been suicidal, but I do fantasize about death.
If I were to die, would it matter? It’s only another part of life, and the world keeps […]

3/10/2023 0 comment

Newer Posts

Older Posts