Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

4

Long rant,

  January 21st, 2019 by c-ta

It’s been exactly a year now since I last posted to this website, which is sort of weird. I like the format of it, so I desperately looked for it and finally found it!

For some BG information (if it’s helpful I guess lol ig it helps me!), I’m 16 (17 in April) and FTM but not at all out to most people close to me in my life, especially including close family. I have a history of self-harming since I was about 12 years old, and my parents became aware of it 1-2 years ago. I have stopped as of now but have relapsed a [...]
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1

Is there a positive way for me to talk about my issues with my friends?

  January 19th, 2019 by namrahellz

This is just something really short since it is a simple question : is there a positive way for me to talk about my issues with my friends? I mean, recently, I feel as though all I ever do is negatively rant, vent, and complain to them. It completely contrasts with the way I represent and deal with my issues. When I become suicidal, or upset even, I don’t want to worry nor bring others into my problems so I show my sadness as happiness. I dance, prance, and sing in a manner that makes them truly believe I have entered my “usual” ‘hyperactive, energetic, [...]
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5

Lonely Existance

  January 16th, 2019 by GerbzBaby

Even at the age of 21 I can’t find people who like me. I’m unlikeable and I guess I need to accept that. I’ve only found one person who understands me, understands my mental issues and I believe he hates me. I feel like I lost him after what I said. I had to tell him the truth so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. I just ended up hurting him. I feel like I’ll never find someone like that who understands me again. Not even my closest friend does. But I believe he hates me as well. Oh well.. time to walk down the [...]
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8

Sharing about your depression

  January 13th, 2019 by BrokenHaze-


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1

2019…..here we are

  January 12th, 2019 by mo992

I’ve tried to avoid posting for a while now. I’ve been dealing with quite a lot, mentally and physically. I felt that posting would make me feel even worse and paranoid. But here I am again.

2018 was quite slow. There were good things and a lot of painful experiences but I must admit that I wouldn’t have made it without my friends and community. The support they have given me is immense and I can in no way give back enough love to them. For a while I felt guilty, I still do. This feeling comes from the fact that even with all this love, [...]
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8

This is it

  January 3rd, 2019 by anonymousbuthere

Goodbye, world.


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0

Sorry, Goodbye

  January 3rd, 2019 by anonymousbuthere

I have a good life. I have parents, siblings, God, friends and love. But… I’m empty. I’m selfish. I try to pretend to be humble, but at the end of the day, I’m just trying to stand out. And I hate it. I’m inflicting pain on those who try to care for me. I give them troubles and tribulations. It’s not fair. I’m sorry; it’s all my fault. But everything will be ok now. Thank you for doing things that I never will deserve. Sorry for being weak, pathetic, anxious, self-absorbed, narcissistic, and pretentious. I love you endlessly. Sorry for being this way.


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5

She…

  December 28th, 2018 by strawberrycrown

She is supposed to be my cousin – family. She is supposed to be my best friend, my soulmate, the person that makes me smile and the person I can never stay mad at. But I’ve lost her. I would say I lost her yesterday but really I have been slowly losing her for a long time. Every argument starts with me calling her out on something, her getting mad and saying I always cause problems, then I apologise very well, she says it is not enough anymore because it always happens and is always “my fault”. I always am the one t say sorry [...]
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3

Failure

  December 17th, 2018 by WhatIsBTC

As I have no idea where to start, I will begin this post with whatever come to my mind.

It been 4 years since I have entered uni and it’s currently one of the worst time in my life. I could have chosen a different field, a different school but no, my parent doesnt allow me to do that. Living in an Asian country doesnt give you much choice beside businessman, engineer and doctor. But because engineer and doctor do not make as much money as businessman (according to my father) so I had to attend the business school to have a stable income. After 4 [...]
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1

it´s been a while

  December 9th, 2018 by plasticflower

i haven´t been here for over a year, and i really need to empty my brain, so here´s a bit of the mess that´s going on in my head

 

i tried to hide it more, so they wouldn´t notice. I guess I got too good at hiding it because now she thinks i´m doing so much better. And maybe I am, but it  doesn´t really feel like it. I feel like soon i´ll break; and I don´t know if I can or want to stop it. Today she said, “I think you´re doing much better now. Do you still think you need to see a therapist?”. [...]
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Protected: Just Saying Goodbye

  December 9th, 2018 by jocelyn._.martinez

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2

End it

  December 8th, 2018 by Itscolourlife

Im sick and tired
At times like this i miss you
I miss you so much

I collect all the pieces
Trying to make it into a nice picture
But its too sharp
But maybe not
Its just sharp for me

I want to be hurt by myself
I donr want to drag you in it
You have such a bright future
So you dont deserve person like me

I should end it
End it
End it
End it
End it

Its going to be my last time
When i meet you
I want to say
You know actually you are cool
And handsome when you are focused
And [...]
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5

I don’t know what to do, suicide might be my only option

  December 8th, 2018 by kahann

I’m a 50 year old female who has never really lived and probably never will.

Look, I know I should take responsibility for my mistakes and failings but I feel trapped. It’s like I’m in a prison and there is only one way I’m getting out and that’s death.

It all started when I was 6, that’s when my step-father started molesting me. When I was 7 I told my mother what he was doing, that was the day she started beating me. When I was 12 he wanted to do more than fondle me and pleasure himself, when I said no he got into a mood [...]
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3

Selfish.

  December 2nd, 2018 by AKidWithAName

I’m so confused.  I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.  I don’t know where I stand with anyone anymore.  I keep fucking everything up for everyone.  My brain’s so fucked and I don’t know why.  Maybe I do.  I don’t know.  I don’t know if my parents actually care about me.

They used to beat the shit out of me.  They don’t seem to really remember that.  I don’t think they understood just how bad they hurt me when they did what they did.  I’m sure they’d think I was a ***** if I ever told them that “they hurt my feelings”, which sounds so [...]
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2

Deterioration

  November 28th, 2018 by AshCoveredAngel

I’ve had left side flank pain on and off for four years now.

I finally got to see a GI specialist.

The specialist thinks my mental illness has caused my physical illness and pain for the past four years. That I have IBS and there’s nothing she can really do for me, and that psychiatric medication is probably my solution.

Unfortunately medication hasn’t been safe for me and no other treatments have helped me either.

I have already given mental illness the ability to make friends.

I have already given my mental illness educational opportunities.

I have given it my ability to support myself financially.

I have given [...]
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1

I Give Up

  November 28th, 2018 by FormerHappyGuy

3 Months Ago i posted my first post here ”I Want to be Happy”.
Back in those days i told myself ”If things don’t get better by the end of this year (2018) i would end up my life”
Weeks after i wrote that post i was actually optimist, the things in my life got better, i trutly thought i would make another year. But it was just that, a delusional through.

But life beated me down.

The things that happened goes far from my control, i can’t help not even to myself, less to my family. and if it is not enough…

She found another dude, she [...]
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10

Meds

  November 26th, 2018 by Black Holez

So who here is on medication? I’ll be seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow but some part in me wants to not take meds if I am prescribed one because of all the things I’ve read like it messes up your mind or brain chemistry or something. So what does it feel like when you take your happy pills? Do they even work? Has it messed up your thinking?


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1

Bad memories

  November 17th, 2018 by SuicidalThoughtsButRefuseToKillMyself

I have bad memories of someone who says, “if I had it my way I would put him in a looney bin” fuck if I had it my way if I was strong enough I would kill myself not just bored with my life not certain about this life and wish I had the strength to end it all bipolar sucks my life is worthless to me at such times but I know if I ever do kill myself if I ever do that it would destroy everything that loves me but it would good for all those who hate and or don’t like me [...]
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2

These days

  November 14th, 2018 by Chanty

These days I don’t feel anything. Things that I used to care about seem uninteresting.
I feel like I have been on a road to self destruction. I see myself doing things that I know will only hurt me, but I can’t bring myself to care. I can’t bring myself to care about anything anymore and that scares me.
My grades are slipping, my relationship with my parents is straining.
I know that I should try to fix everything while I still can, but I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to do anything anymore.
The thought of dying have been on [...]
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0

nobody’s there

  November 1st, 2018 by hollowchest

Feeling like I’m going insane.
Everyone’s delusional.
And I gotta play this game.
Alone and nobody gives a damn.
She said she’s my best friend but what?
Nobody hits up my phone up.
Everybody say they have depression and they’re all alone but it’s all just a facade. Like it’s trendy now to wear it as a badge of honor. When in fact you’re charged guilty pleading your honor.
Fk why I gotta bottle
Everything up inside
Gambling with my life like a lotto.
It’s past midnight.
Gotta sleep.
Dreams of waking up to a better life, resting in peace.


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