For non-suicidal topics that are fun, entertaining or informative.
Fun & Interesting
I posted this awhile back but had my usual panic attack and deleted it after it only had one comment… I always worry that everyone hates it and is just too nice to say anything.
I have to admit it’s one of my favorite things I’ve written so far.
Choir (Soprano, Alto, Tenor, Bass)
Strings (Violin, Viola, Cello, Bass)
So instead of posting it and sitting back in anxious panic, waiting for comments to show up, I will do this:
I will post it, then I will walk away. I will go out to the car and drive somewhere many miles away. Maybe I’ll have dinner, maybe I’ll just park somewhere and try to find an hour of life that isn’t crusted with dread and pain. Possibly I will listen to the radio or a CD…. and when it is dark enough to need the headlights, I will drive back home and see if anyone has listened and commented.
If no one has, then I guess it can be a sign that this is a musical fingerprint which fits nobody except myself.
See you in a few hours, maybe.
Malicious neighbour who always try to put us down and got away with their petty revenge in the past threaten to sue my family over our car Back Up Alarm. They mock and taunt us that my family can get a heavy fine, arrested, and owe them compensation money in return. The worst case scenario is that we live in between them and their in-law family down the street who kids are just as bad. They are like ping pong balls bouncing back and forth leaving the mess behind on our driveway.
Basically, they have been openly overconfident and obnoxious ever since they snapped in January 2105. I’m aware that they have been secretly recording us for months and following us closely to find the perfect opportunities to sabotage. My relative kept reminding me to ignore them and “let it go” since they are free to look at us and record us if they want to/they can’t do no harm to us with the recordings. They took advantage of his kindness and procrastination.
We had good intention of installing this gadget for safety reasons. Similarly, the product description stated: “Add peace of mind to your vehicle when backing up. Avoid dangerous situations and alert people around you that you are reversing.” My life motto is: Do no harm, but take no shit.
Those jerks twisted up the story, and are spreading rumours about us being anti-social, using the back-up alarm noise as a form of harassment, intentional infliction of emotional distress and etc. What bother me the most is that my relative always believe that if there is a noise complaint issued, the police will give us a warning first to inform us to stop the noise or fix it. Lost motivation because of these sort of people exist. I can understand why celebrities can get so, irritated with paparazzi being nosey with their personal lives and always trying to get dirt on them. We have anti-fans living nearby us. The daily negativity emitted by these people is slowly draining away my happiness and purpose in life. Trying to start each day with a positive thought. Whenever I see their faces it just disgust me and I truly feel sad that I couldn’t fully protect my family well-being and finance from these sort of leeches. I always try to forgive people but giving them too many chances have made them become obnoxious and rude. I tend to never talk again to those toxic people. On another note, I believe that they are trying to sue us to make it harder for our house to sell.
Every day I remind my family to “be careful” because I can sense that my neighbour are seeking opportunities to harm us. They made complaints to the city about our property over almost everything. Since we never got any letter or direct warning we just ignore them and continue living our own lives. Their hatred toward us slowly became an unhealthy obsession. Once in awhile they would send their kids over to provoke us by playing on our driveway or their car would intentionally be parked horizontally blocking us from reversing out of our driveway. The nickname that I like to call these people is: ToFu because they look calm and normal on the outside but have rotten personality on the inside. Another nickname would be “fly” because after so, many times I told them to leave us alone they keep coming back, every time more rude and obnoxious.
My problem is not their slander that is filled with bullshit about us but whether or not my relative can get fined for everyday that the back-up alarm is activated without a warning. Fine accumulating over time without us knowing is just absurd and we surely wouldn’t be using it if the police had told us earlier. They threaten us that we can get arrested for noise pollution. I got really depressed over worrying about house arrest because my mother has an upcoming surgery soon and losing money/arrest won’t be good news. Ever since we installed security cameras on our property they have been acting all innocent on the outside but I know deep down they hold a grudge against us because they aren’t able to show their true colour and have to refrain from using offensive words/action. Living indoor beside their adjoined walls is the most disgusting experience. Sometime when I go to the wash room, I can hear someone intentionally laughing out loud for us to hear and they keep talking about getting our “money” to provoke us and talking about how they are going to beat us up and stuff. From Canada, and sometime the voice next door travels through the vents.
And the worst part is I don’t even OWN a dog.
Anyway, woke up today with a terrible earache, which probably means my ear infection came back.
Hurts to eat or drink anything (chewing and swallowing, ouch).
It even hurts to talk.
So here I am, sitting quietly at home, eating and drinking nothing.
Throughout life there will be ups and downs, joys and tears. Normally, I try to ignore negativity coming from my neighbours and refrain myself from using foul language but words can’t express how I stronfly feel about these emotional and financial leeches. My neighbour are the type of people who are like this quote “counts other people sins/mistakes” to try to make themselves look like “saints”.
In my opinion, they are truly despicable and are like peeping Tom’s who have a problem minding their own business. I made nicknames for them as flies, paparazzi, or anti-fan. I made it clear to them that I would appreciate it if they would park on their own driveway and keep their kids under control from playing on our side. We live near a park less than 5 minutes away but they somehow would ene up on our driveway and make a mess.
I’m sick and tired of having to constantly remind them whenever they play ball on our side to be careful of hittint our car just because there’s more space available. They have ganged up with their in-law house down the street trying to sue my family and aim to hurt us financially by seeking compensation money, getting us fined and arrested over noise that we were unaware if we got cited for. If their plan is ever successful, the world is shady. Accumulating fines over time without any first hand warning? It’seems been depressing and stressful dealing with remarks because they often try to put us down because my uncle installed a back up alarm on his vehicle. He didn’t intend to use the backup alarm to do harm, harass or cause any emotional distress to anyone like these disgusting people accused us of doing it intentionally and would removed it if a police or someone would tell him about the possibility of getting fined over noise. For more information, you can find back up alarm sold online.
I find it a bit absurd like a article that I read online about a neighbour suing another neighbour for using wind chimes outside of their own home and wanted to get them fined for 10K over noise pollution. My uncle never thought this far and just followed his personal belief that the back up alarm is a useful tool/gadget for safety purposes and told me not to worry about our neighbour potentially trying to seek revenge or harm us.
Like my concern/prediction, I had a feeling that those toxic neighbour’s of mines would one day use the back up alarm as an excuse to harm us because our car stand out/different from typical cars all because of the back up alarm installed. That’s the only thing that they get their confidence from and have been acting cocky over these past few months. God knows our true intentions and I am not a shame of my uncle for installing a back up alarm but truly disgusted by meeting these type of people who try to sabotage other people lives for their own benefit behind their backs. My uncle is naive to believe that the police will give out warnings if there is an issue that needs to be fixed or inform us about noise complaints made. I’ll be really frustrated if these type of neighbour got to take advantage of us all because of the back up alarm installed on my uncles vehicle. It seems like they got someone to hack our cctv systems. I’m kind of mad that they were too stubborn to listen to me about removing the back up alarm sooner.
Ever since January 2015, I tend to sleep a lot when I’m battling with depression to forget about the things and situation that is happening in reality, It has severely impacted my studies because I lost motivation to study. Those jerks next door would taunt us or make crying sound on purpose out loud next to the adjoined walls for us to hear claiming it’s: :”GAME OVER” for us and that they can win the battle in the form of a lawsuit. I was in the state of thinking that nothing really matters any more because my family is at risk of being arrested over using a back up alarm on our car and really sadden by the fact that we can get heavily fined and possibly might have to pay compensation money to raise those bastards. What hurts the most is feeling close to someone and watching them get hurt, taken advantage of, in this case my uncle losing money. I fear that they might try to take possession of our home because the amount of compensation that they want from us is still unknown.
They keep telling me not to worry about those neighbour teasing us because they enjoy watching us suffer or hit our low point in life. It’s easier said than done to avoid toxic people. Like a ship, I let the negativity sink in. I feel very tired and tend to cry very easily nowadays by seeing my loved one faces and seeing those bastards next door faces smirk.
Chronic PainFamily & Friends EffectsFun & InterestingGeneralI Will SurviveRantsStories of HopeStories of Loss
I’ve suffer from anxiety and depression for months after my relative just keep telling me “not to worry and let karma do the rest” about my neighbour from hell next door. Things didn’t get better but escalate for the worst. He never listened to me to be about being careful about those people trying to harm us/seek revenge and it is always better to stay safe than to be sorry. I tried very hard to stay positive and always strive to protect my home from these sort of jerks that try to provoke us with their words, kids playing on our driveway, and petty revenge such as littering or blocking our drive. They simply can’t flick off.
They act all innocent on the outside but when they open their mouth it’s full of bullshit. Eventually, my family installed cctv camera around our home to deter them from parking/blocking our driveway, littering cigarettes, and kids from doing damage to our car. I warned him several times that people can sue over almost anything now a days no matter how ridiculous it may seem but he never listens to me because he is confident that my malicious neighbour can’t do no harm to us. I tried very hard to “let go and forgive” them for all the petty revenge that they had done to us but deep inside I had a bad feeling that they are always there waiting for an opportunity to sabotage us again. I should of followed my intuition instead of listening to the grown up in my family.
The darkest part of my life happened on January 21st, 2015. It was on the day that my neighbour took pictures of our Garbage bin set out on the wrong date that was meant for Recycle. Apparently, I found out in the morning the reason behind it was because we can get a fine over this matter in Canada. ($100, I assume). The guy next door (the one who took the pictures) gave my relative an evil smirk and intentionally chuckle out loud when he saw him outside on the driveway getting ready to go to work. It was like he accomplish something wonderful in life. Meanwhile, when I got home from school his nephew (brat) was jumping up & down in the bathtub next to our adjoined wall and barking. They have been doing that for months once in awhile…intentionally laugh out loud when they hear us go us the washroom next door.
A few days later, my neighbour threaten to sue us (shouting indoor at night) that they can get us fine, arrest and are seeking money from us. The song that can perfectly summarize how I feel about my life right now is: “In The End” by Linkin Park ~
“I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter”
Those obnoxious neighbour that I tried to ignore for months declared it was: “GAME OVER” for us. “How is that even possible,” you may ask. Well, for months they have been secretly recording noise that comes from my relative’s car back-up alarm. The back-up alarm automatically activates when it is shifted into reverse which is why sometime my neighbour would intentionally use their car to block us from reversing out of our driveway (someone would secretly record us outside from the indoor of their living room).
We genuinely didn’t know that you can get fine over “noise” without any warning given by the police. So, we kept using the back-up alarm for months while my neighbour laugh at us for being so naive.
It was no secret to me that I was aware of them constantly have their eye on us watching our every move when we go outside of our house. I had a feeling that they we’re secretly recording us but my relative kept telling me to ignore them which I regret now because he made my neighbour become overly confident and obnoxious after gathering enough evidence against us (EASILY). In addition, it sort of contributed to my sadness when he allowed them to disrespect us and give them an opportunity to be taken advantage of. What is more sad is that I live between them and their in-law house down the street so, they are seeking double the amount of compensation money from us but none of my family members believe me and think I’m over exaggerating this issue. My family still haven’t seek a lawyer for any legal advice.
I read somewhere on the web afterwards that the fine accumulates for everyday that they are being disturbed. My relative had good intention of installing it for safety reasons and you can find/buy a back-up alarm online on eBay or Amazon. For this reason, he told me not to worry and didn’t think it was illegal to us since they also sell back-up alarm at Canadian Tire in our area.
What irritates me the most is that those people are twisting up the story by saying that my family are anti-social and are using “noise as a form of HARASSMENT!!” Ironically, instead of repelling trouble and keeping pedestrian safe from car reversing accidents, it attracted financial leeches in my neighbourhood.
I shed a lot of tears because I felt like it was my fault that I wasn’t able to protect my family from these financial leeches coming after us. I don’t care what other people may say about him because deep down I know he is good and kind hearted person with good intention of installing a back-up alarm for safety. In my opinion, he is very naive and gullible because even if my relative had no intention to sue my neighbours for their past petty revenge of littering and vandalism in the first place – I told him they will always be out to get him. I’m very sad and worried about losing money and our home to compensate these sort of people because I know my relative works hard his entire life and losing everything out of the blue so, suddenly without any warning just made me lose faith in humanity a lot.
I don’t want to see his money wasted to compensate these jerks who treat his home and family badly just breaks my heart into a million pieces. There was also a time when my neighbour picked out fruits from the tree in my backyard.
Overall, my feeling of disappointment and depression came from this story. I had trouble focusing on my studies ever since that garbage incident that happened back in January 2015 and have been striving to get my life back together ever since then. I always feel that there is not many days of freedom for me because my neighbour are a threat to my family well-being, finance and happiness. I found some other articles about someone losing $500K (Their Home) over barking dogs and another article about an ex-neighbour suing a pianist (seeking jail time for emotional distress). Need guidance on this matter because my family refuse to find a lawyer and still don’t believe me even though we still haven’t formally received a letter to get to summoned to court yet. Nothing really matters to me any more…which is why I’m struggling in school right now because I’m worried that my family will get arrested for noise-pollution any day randomly if we ever go to court. I don’t know what the future may hold but I’m thankful for all the wonderful friends that I made in school this year (2016) that made my life meaningful. Through various ups and downs in life, I’ve come across this:
THREE TYPES OF PEOPLE TO REMEMBER IN YOUR LIFE
1. Those who helped you in your difficult times.
2. Those who left you in your difficult times.
3. (And my favourite)Those who put you in your difficult times.
Thank you to the people who took your time to read this long post~! Much appreciated. I’m sorry, that it ended like this but I’m not really use to expressing myself to others. I’m in the process of emotional healing and trying to make each day wonderful although sometime I still cry alone at night and whenever I see my relative’s face (the one that had the back-up alarm installed on their car). I worry about all the hard times that my neighbours can make my family go through since my mother has to undergo surgery soon. I’m very worried about losing money, our home and sudden arrest over noise. I feel very disappointed in myself for not being able to protect my loved ones from these malicious neighbour with evil intent and let them get their way, pleasure for seeing us miserable. I honestly, have a pet peeve of other people touching myself even after I clearly tell them that I don’t like it. I feel defeated, lost, and tired of keeping these demons away sometime. I noticed my body would feel numbness and tingling when I’m really sad or angry. I’ve made my family members worried about my well-being because they are sad when they see me like this. Hopefully, I will get back on track in life because toxic people have been pulling me down and renting space in my head. In addition, my neighbour made malicious comments about me and my Mom being prostitutes even though it’s false. She has an illness and sometime make nausea or vomiting noise in the washroom. Is it my fault that those jerks next door have nothing better to do with their lives than to spy on us? I’m not blessed to live beside them. Those creeps would sometime talk to us through the adjoining walls or vents. They sometime they threaten to sell all of our personal belongings and take possession of our home. I really am so, displease with their behaviour but you can’t control what other people say, think, or feel about you. But, wishing ill things towards someone else life really ticks me. To me, I always see them as my family anti-fan, paparazzi, and are a bunch of pesky flies than never go away no matter how many times you shoo~ them away. Even our security cameras can’t keep them away. They tried to put my family to shame for using a back-up alarm. Unlike, typical beepers, my relative’s back up alarm sounds like an ice cream truck. There’s also a bird-chirping back up alarm and talking back up alarm sold online (depending on people preference). I’m really disappointed at my relative for all the times that I warned him to be careful and recall all of the things that I could of, should of, but didn’t do to prevent this. If only I didn’t listened to him and convinced him to remove the back up alarm sooner they wouldn’t have an opportunity to sue us. He and my family made me doubt my intuition because why would they waste their time following us around for months just to record us?
TALKING BACK UP ALARM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aFizlXs-7U
My neighbour’s kid in a nutshell is like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k6MLy1fb58|
If you tuned in on THIS POST, you not only got to hear me sing 197 digits of Pi at three in the morning, but you also got to hear me explain that I am going to spend my Friday drinking vodka and becoming (hopefully) less coherent as the night progresses.
I’ll spend most of my time here, but might drop a comment on your posts too, if you’d like. I promise to try to be on my best behavior if I visit you, but here on this post I may well descend into the depths of raving lunatic-dom. Now is not the time to ask me serious questions about life and death, since I will most likely screw up any question anybody asks me.
I’ll be drinking Svedka Mango Pineapple vodka, mixed with fruit punch and maraschino cherries. Possibly also some Ruby Red Squirt. (I realize that at a certain point in the evening I will not be able to say “Squirt” without giggling.)
Let the drinking begin. (!!!)
See you in the comments.
UPDATE: When I’m sober I can remember 200 digits of Pi, but when I’ve been drinking vodka for four hours I can only remember 42. Here:
Escape. That’s what we desire. Want. Who doesn’t need to be wanted? This is our shot.
The reason we feel so empty and vile about ourselves isn’t our fault, it’s our
environment. We are one and the same and we need to take steps to stay alive. That’s
why I’m leaving to roam the country, feel free and alive again…like I did before and
I’m inviting any of you to join me. All we need is each other. There is unity in who
we are. We may be the black sheep, the broken hearted, the crazy psychos. But we are
also the explorers, the innovators, the care free, and the loving. We got one life to
live and maybe we feel so down because we aren’t living it. I already have a car, I plan
on getting a different vehicle before I leave. This will all happen within the next
month to 3 months at the max. Currently I am only going to bring along people 18+. I just would
love some companions on my journey. With nothing to hold us back, There is a place out
there for us all, we just need to find it. Whether you string along with me until the
end or you find where you want to be in a small little town you’re free to come or go
as you please. We won’t struggle, I know how to survive this kind of life as I’ve done
it before. If you don’t have a committment to your children there is no reason for you
to say no to coming with me, for you have no obligations. Hold my hand and know that
there are brighter days for all of us. It’s just on you take this opportunity to embrace
it. I know I’ve decided and I am. This will be in America, but if you are from another
country, we can always try to get you here. Truth is I’ve felt the same as everyones
posts I been reading and it makes me sad. We are all so full of potentional and we
could change the world it’s just that we don’t feel good mentally. I don’t want us to
die I want us to be together. We really are one, and we’ll go from place to place, telling
and making new stories, meeting new people, helping others, looking for a place to call
home, listening to our music, hopping trains, fishing for food, camping, driving down
abandoned roads at 90 mph, read books under the stars, party with strangers, exploring
places people rarely see, and sharing it all with the people we care about. I’m inviting
you all to a new lifestyle. I’m inviting you all to the TRLT legacy. The Road Less
Traveled= TRLT. Don’t give up on life, love rewards love, and anything that endures for
a shorter time than the soul does is incapible of satisfying the soul. Well these memories
will last forever. TRLT Legacy.
… so I was sitting on the couch listening ta triple J enjoying a nice coffee, right, and I’m nice and relaxed so I just put my head back and I had a sip of coffee in my mouth and when I went to swallow it I noticed a little bit of trouble like I just had to move my head (and with it my neck) down just a little bit in order to swallow, and it got me trying to drink down this drink with my head held all the way back and I just couldnt do it without the little bit of forward, more down, movement. When I tried to forcefully keep my head back and swallow I almost kinda choked (not in a normal way like some weird thing was happening with the liquid, hard to describe) and yeah I found I just couldn’t do it holding still. How slightly weird huh?¿?
I got inspired by those of you who posted yourselves playing music these past few days.
I’ve posted other things I’ve written before, but today I wondered what I could finish in exactly one hour.
So I started a new piece and set myself a time limit.
One hour, no more.
Because of the time constraint, I wasn’t able to include complex instrumentation. I settled on a simple piano piece.
I call it “Almost Nothing”, because it is short and simple.
Thirty-eight measures long, starting in A-minor and ending in C-major.
Started at 5:24 this afternoon, ended at 6:24.
It’s not my favorite thing I’ve ever written, but it was fun to see what I could complete in an hour.
I just got done with a sinkful of dishes. There’s laundry on the bathroom floor. There’s laundry in the dryer waiting for me. There’s some clutter in every room. My problem is I’m so easily distracted it takes me forever to get anything done…gotta pick out music, find just the right song, oh, it’s raining outside? Gotta find a different song. That counters a little dirty, hmm what’s going on at SP. Yeah. So this is just me getting all the noise out of my head.
I’m making TACOS for dinner. Over here we like to use this fajita steak in place of ground beef. It’s sometimes a little fattier than I like but it’s so much better. The Mexican grocery store labels it as Taco meat, but in Spanish obviously.
Taco toppings suggestions?
Keep it clean.
The little one I used to be,
Abandoned and replaced by,
a ghost in purgatory, a shadow crawling along decaying masonry in the dire dusk
I’ve been in this world long enough,
a refusal of existence comprised of sorrow with beauty hinted at but never possessed
The circus calls out to me and revelations of younger years ferment in the circuitry
Impossible to leave in this condition,
I’m still too thirsty, too weary, too broken
Numb to others until I become Aurora, glistening and carefree,
then the final act to beckon me into the abyss,
Exciting and disorienting,
The grim reaper stamps my ticket behind cold glass,
A smile so wide it draws my senses back intact, less survival
I clasp the freshly tatted thin wooden mass and wait for the bus,
Reminiscing on a bench,
Thoughts come in a rush and i lapse on my back
The time my beloved and I first met,
The time we skipped stones at the beach waiting for the ferry home
The fantasies of perfection,
Greener grass and kitty cats
Memories warm me as I wait,
But I won’t miss it,
No bitterness remains within or without
Everyone has a special moment,
And I don’t plan to waste it whence it comes
A beautiful chaos is what life has thrown at me
Romance and heartbreak and great escapes,
I was always running now I wait,
Whispering under my breath
“at long last”
So I’ve been absent from this site for awhile. I’ve been busy clearing out my shit and NO WAY IN HELL would I have imagined what a heap of junk I’ve accumulated; I actually wish I had a huge pit of fire to throw it all into lol..I know this is something I have to do or I’ll feel like I’ve left a mess behind and I believe that would fuk me over if there is an afterlife..I’m just covering all my angles here. ITS STRESSFUL as for some reason I still have attachments to some of the junk but at the same time I’m closing up shop and it makes me happy 🙂
I have some good medical marijuana that’s helping lower my inhibitions a bit and some chill pills incase I have a panic attack along the way and my brain tries to stop me from getting rid of all my worldly possessions. It’s soo stupid as if I’m going to care what color of shirt I like or what flavour of pop or what jewellery I wear when I’m gone, this process should be going a lot quicker/smoother. I guess I’ve moved a lot in my life and this is like the millionth time I’ve packed and moved everything around. My appetite is shit ATM too so I have limited energy stores which doesn’t help at all 🙁
Just leaving this here cus’ I needed 2 vent and I don’t have anyone irl I can talk to without being thrown in an ambulance and hauled away. I also have terrible social anxiety around everything social including posting online so if I don’t reply to comments or in other posts much it’s because my brain is playing hide and go seek and I won’t be able to interact for random periods of time. Sometimes I push myself to reply and feel worse thinking I said something stupid or rude so there’s that also lol
Hope you all have a gr8 afternoon!!
To play a game or something? I think it would be nice to think of an interactive game to play on the forum. Something to get our minds off of things.
We can do mad libs?
I will start, you will need to fill in these blank spaces first. Then transfer them to my short story. Copy and paste so we can all see what you came up with?
A Name _____
A Time _____
Name again (the same as the first) _____
Verb ending in ing _____
Verb ending in ing _____
A Place _____
Another place _____
I woke up next to a name, today at a time. I’m thinking to myself, how in the world did I end up with this adjective noun here? Soon name awoke and immediately started verb ending in ing. I didn’t know what to do so I started verb ending in ing with (a/an) noun. The next thing I know (a) noun comes flying through the room. So I verb to a place. Man, I am never visiting another place again.
Any Twenty One Pilots fans out there?
Stay alive, friends.
Some of you know I’ve been trying to learn German for almost a year now.
I love listening to music in that language, and my favorite German artists/groups are Revolverheld and Peter Fox.
Here is one of my favorites, because the words fit exactly how I feel sometimes. It’s called “Lass Uns Gehen”, which translates to “Let Us Go”. The lyrics are about that feeling when you just can’t stand it anymore and need to GET OUT.
I think most of us can relate to that here.