General

One more word from her and I’m having that website subpoenaed and getting a restraining order. I quit my freaking job twice because she couldn’t refrain from “watching me”. It was a known issue among my managers and even they kept me in the loop when she would sneak into the store. I didn’t want to go this route and just move on but she’s got a line crossed and wants me to suffer for her delusions. She told people that I said to kill herself when in reality it was her that said that she doesn’t want to talk and wants me to kill […]

I hate my life. I hate my body. I am hated by others. People don’t respect me. I have no purpose. I am lonely. Tired. I want to die

I’ve called into the 988 hotline in my area several times and despite having 24/7/365 support it’s something where people don’t support you. Have you had similar experiences? If so what is a decent hotline. I was literally asked if I was suicidal and if I wanted to die tonight.

my suicide kit was delivered. soon, i’ll be ready.  I’m not there yet. i need to write letters and say goodbye to those old places.

I think there was a critical error in my assumption that physical pain would be easier to endure than emotional pain. There’s a pain threshold in both directions, and mitigating factors are the only thing that can hold them in check

this is all coming out of one of the physically most painful weeks of my life. At least twice a day for four days I had to stop working either because I was losing mobility in my arms, or because I was shaking uncontrollably. Then, against all rationality, I had to return to the task that made me freeze up. 10 hour days, shoving fixtures […]

I mind my own damn business, I take my meds everyday, I don’t gossip about my neighbors. I smoke my hookah and decide to take a dip in my families new pool and I overheard the neighbor inside her house screaming that they are going to call the cops on me. I took a late night dip the other night and I heard that same woman accuse me of only going in my pool to spy on her. Seriously WTF! My parents won’t tell me whats going on because they don’t want me to have another episode but I heard my brother and father […]

We had no rights growing up because of parents but we make sure you receive yours. I see what it did to me and I don’t want that happen to others. The gaslighting ends here. Not only for me but others too. We had to stay home given issues with age regression and being such we went through constant abuse and violation of rights. I stayed at home until 25 years of age given said age regression issues and I dealt with constant abuse being such. I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through at least in terms of violation of rights. […]

I’ve been in the ICU since Monday. The rash on my body has slowed, but I’m starting to bleed from my mouth and penis constantly. My lips scab over and fall off pretty much every day. I’m starting to have open wounds on my neck and scrotum. I feel so claustrophobic being hooked up to IVs and machines. I haven’t taken a shower and I smell like shit. I hate this. I can’t keep up with school and am already behind. I barely understand the assignments.

My mom brought up maybe taking a year off school […]

Yep it’s me again, Margaret.  The local fuck up. I have added to my list of fuck ups, and I have a new idea I am developing. I have put a lot of thought into this, put things in place and planning for it. I have secured life insurance for my wife and daughter. They will want for nothing. I have read the fine print on the policy to make sure self inflicted homicide is covered. I have established lines of credit that my wife can use after I am gone for her convenience. I have written a letter to them both. All that is […]

Thanks for the worries with my posts. I’m doing okay. I just need people to be there for me especially given the effects of my assault.

I hope I die soon. I’m too ill to fulfill everything expected of me. Everyone hates me now because I’ve changed.

The year is 2022. The month and date is September 9th at 08:48 AM and this is our current reality (at least where I live) and it sucks. If there was a time where I wanted to enforce the world needs to change it’s now. I’m open myself to the line of suicide however many times when I’m serious I post on this forum. There are stages of seriousness that I take when suicidal and I would honestly like to say I’m at the full blown stage. Anywho. To repeat the date is September 9th 2022 and nobody cares about anyone but themselves. Anyone 13 […]

i thought this year would turn out differently. i wanted to make friends and finally have people to go to at school. i just suck at talking at people and my anxiety doesn’t help with it either. I hate that every time I try I always end up failing.

In summary, I had everything planned out for me to die today. I had all the materials, the steps, literally everything in place for my third attempt. However, I was taking a bit to take action and actually begin, then I waited a little bit longer because I chickened out, and then I saw it. The queen died. It feels like a cosmic message to me, as I see all this commotion and all the different people that feel sad over her death. I imagine my family will feel a similar sort of shock, to have a 16 year old dead by suicide. That one […]

“Have a few nice days without me ;)” Fuck you. Maybe I will. The most passive-aggressive smiley there is out there.

If I were dead, my dad would actually have to step up and take care of his kids, instead of making his parents, and in turn me, do so. I bet he doesn’t even think about it. I wonder if he thinks about us at all when he’s gone. Or cares. I feel like a nuisance every time I talk to him. I can’t talk to him about anything – like with mental or social issues. He doesn’t care. He said it wasn’t real and I was being selfish. That was years ago.

It’s been a shitty few days. I’ve already started procrastinating on my schoolwork […]