General

About a month ago I spontaneously got into making and learning all about cocktails. I barely drink, mainly due to indifference and price, but mixology always interested me. I totally dove in, staying up late getting lost in learning about the tools, recipes, science, history, combinations…that lovely flow state of forgetting that you exist, and just becoming what you’re doing. What a feeling, I’d almost forgotten.

But man, booze is expensive here. One recipe led me to another, with just one or two ingredients I didn’t have. I finally stopped myself after dropping nearly 250$ on different things. Halfway in I started thinking about what a waste […]

        I have avascular necrosis in my hip caused by pregnancy. The only cure is a hip replacement. The problem is, I have a phobia way more crippling than my hip. I thought it was a needle phobia until this hip thing (although hindsight held many clues that it was more than that) and I was facing a pound of metal and cement in my body that I can never get out or touch again. It’s a phobia of foreign objects in my body. It’s incredibly rare and doesn’t have a name. I’ve only found a handful of people online who have […]

been talking about dying for at least a solid 15 years, fully suicidal for the past decade at least…. but today was the closest I’ve ever come.

It’s not like there was a trigger. I just looked down at OBJECT_REDACTED and thought; I could go that way, nearly no effort, so I bent over and put in my pocket, and about ten minutes later I walked out of the building and got in my car, because the particular method I was going for was going to take a solid ten minutes. I’ve read quite a bit about what works and what doesn’t, and I think I […]

so lost. maybe im just getting worse because i hide at home everyday. im pissed at the world because my cats missing and probably dead from this heat or someone shot him.i cant reach out to any of my friends because they are at their breaking point too. good wishes to EVERYONE

My favorite part is when her friends confirm there’s blood everywhere and help clean it. She’d go crazy living there pretending nothing happened, everything’s fine… I miss that feeling. I miss being around better people.

I think most all of us have heard of this one. 80% of the wealth for 20% the population, 20% the effort 80% the result (apparently), and so on.

I’m quite convinced that it’s 80% the joy in one’s life experienced in the first 20% of its duration. with the average 80 year lifespan, that means that by age 16, we’ve experienced 4/5ths the joy we’re set to get. One can still feel it trickling up until around 20-24, but after that we’re just chewing the flavourless gum waiting for the next bin to spit it out into.
When my late cousin […]

am i the one thats supposed to stop my mom from crying? where the fuck is my dad? they are married so im sure he can stomach enough time to even comfort her a little bit. he never comforted me, so im not really sure if he knows how to actually. maybe the best thing for him to do is remain ignorant so my mom can maybe pretend like things are ok when shes around him. when i was talking to my mom 20 minutes ago she just said, “i need to go, i have to go, i have to go.” really faintly and almost […]

hi i am new to SP but i ve been lurking here for a couple of weeks. this is the most relatable place i v ever been to. i really would like to get to know to some people who are willing to talk for a while, share stories etc .. hit me up iwanttodie.04@proton.me .

I’m addicted to watching Redhead / Ginger porn. I love the girls freckles. I live in my vehicle mostly and recently started working for a job that pays $29 p/hr.

I have a decent amount of savings because I’m stingey with my money but I might see a redhead hooker one time. 

I know no other word for it, because I am dancing with destruction, without doubt. Yesterday I reached a point I walked off the job, and I wanted very much to keep walking to something else, nearly anything else. Then my wife cried, and so now that escape route is cut off. It’s melt before fail. Let’s talk about melt before fail, because it was an actual engineering principle once upon a time. The idea was that a computer, rather than shutting down when reaching a critical malfunction, would instead keep running. Even if it caught fire, or melted the contacts.

There’s something undeniably macho about […]

I am a bad person. By which I mean that I want to do bad things. Really bad, fucked up stuff. And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to do those things. But the wanting, it hurts, constantly. My motivations, who I am on a very core level, are broken. The things that feel most meaningful to me are wrong. And I don’t think that’s something I can change. I can change my actions, and to some extent I have, but I can’t change what I want. I can’t change what feels meaningful to me. And that hurts, and it makes me want to not […]

I’ll admit that my loitering on suicide sites and methods takes an upward trend, whenever I’m searching for a Job. Sitting in the same room with the same videos on repeat every day does eventually get to a person…hence my trudging through a gauntlet of pre-judgemntal demands lists made by biological robots with fake personalities.

I most certainly am not the first person with a degree, and quite frankly a plethora of both computer and practical skills to be groveling on minimum wage. There’s people with thrice my skills earning half of what is termed a living wage, everywhere, in every population control pen […]

Aside from Dracula, I don’t believe any human being ever came back from the dead, so, how could any of us really guarantee what happens after death?

Could it possibly be total nothingness? Yeah sure. Could reincarnation be a real thing? Maybe. Live, die, repeat. Some would actually hope so. But could it not also somehow, in some way, for whatever reason, be a permanently dark, scary, and never-ending experience of horrifying suffering and terror?

Who could possibly guarantee what really happens after death?

We could logically assume & conclude stuff, but we can’t ever know until we’re really there.

I think to myself: When contemplating suicide, do we […]

no one knows