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Everyone falls asleep at night around me and I’m left alone in the dark with my thoughts and the sound of the traffic outside. Sometimes I wonder what the lives of the people in the cars outside are like. Not sleeping gives you so much time to think.
I’ve accepted that I’m too pessimistic or depressing for anyone to like or take seriously. I would have lost many friends if I were honest about how I feel. I remember being judged in therapy sessions for telling the truth, like how I was bored during a conversation.
Still, I don’t know what to do. I don’t really like humanity, nor do I really like existence at all. I try my best to ignore reality and daydream, or think of ideal, romanticised situations that have never happened in my life.
i dont know why im so weak… why cant i just go already???… i hate being here… if i go to a psychiatrist theyd prescribe me medicine… i could die from OD but thats not the way i want to go… i hate living… im done with feeling like this all the time… im sick of just sitting here thinking about suicide… i need to hurry up and do it… maybe then for once in my life i can be truly happy…
I used to be so much. I used to be a firefighter and when i would show up on the scene of a suicide I would always wonder how low does someone have to be to do that. I understand now. I have so much hate built up inside. The things that I once loved have turned away from me. The woman i love would rather be beat by a drug addict than be with me. I stay around for my mom, but it’s getting so bad I’m sure she would be better off without me too. I want to see my sister she’s been […]
OK I GIVE. Everyone jumped on me about my dog, so I will stay alive until she dies. Should only be a few more years. I can’t stand the thought of someone else having her.
I’m beginning to think that sleep doesn’t exist… I don’t even know what it is anymore :\ someone…anyone…? Please just turn my mind off for me…..sighhhhh
I used to have suicidal thoughts as a younger teen. My mother had a rough childhood in China and would accidentally try to force me into her ideal life. But my mom also would call me a lazy ***** or fat pig (i used to be quite the chubster). I just want to say that it would have been helpful to know someone loved me out there. I felt deprived of the affection i deserved. I understand if you don’t give a bit but i just want all of you to know I LOVE YOU more then you could ever imagine. All of you no […]
Dear sister wether this is are final goodbye or the first of many more.i want you to know ive always loved you though you dont feel the same way.i wanted us to have a special bond the kind of sisters who could share anything.instead I became the sister you wanted to get away from.now you got your wish amd hopefully after this letter youll be free.im not just doing this cause of you theres a lot of reason.sure I love you and cant stand you leaving but theres a lot of reasons kind of to many to explain on a single note.i have to let […]
My mom has always hated me i have no dad.no one will miss me for sure.I thino about suicide everyday I think of new ways to do it.please help me. Someone love me
I’ve started having panic/anxiety attacks lately. Not sure of the difference between panic and anxiety attacks. Anyone know of anything I can do to help get out of them?
Sigh…alright…this needs to be said. Don’t take this as me attacking anyone, because I really don’t want to cause a problem. I was here over a year ago and saw the same thing. It made me leave then because it isn’t what anyone needed. A lot of what I see isn’t true depression, it isn’t true psychological pain. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt that people that post here have rough lives. Everyone has rough patches. A lot of what I see here is simple: a bunch of kids that blow things out of proportion, that assume because one thing bad happened in their […]
Anybody out there?….. 🙁
Nah, will y’all quit worrying!
I’m too full of life to die just yet.
Have you noticed how seemingly every other poster here expresses the wish to ‘die in their sleep’?
Folks, it doesn’t work like that!
I find people tend to know me far better than I know myself.
And it’s not for the want of trying…
I just can’t make myself out.
This isn’t a bleeding poem. I f*****g hate poetry! Next time you wanna post something on here, make it goddamn prose!
I write like this to make it easy for you mentally challenged guys to understand lol.
I’ve got a new phone and it won’t connect to the Internet. My […]
I’ve been thinking about suicide for years. I don’t know when I’m going to end but hopefully it’s soon. I’ve lived a horrible past with my uncle and cousin mollesting me at age 6. I feel disgusted with myself, letting them touch me and not saying a word. Why me? Thank goodness I had puberty and that got them to stop. But ever since then I’ve been really depressed with accepting myself. On birthdays I wished for death yet nothing has happened I’m a wuss to try anything and rather have things come at me than running to them. The only way I deal with […]
Hi every miserable self loathing being! Don’t let your youth be the end of you. Believe it or not, its the best part of your life. It gets much worse as life grinds on and on. I’m 38 and have suffered chronic depression as long as I can remember. My youth was filled with constant bullying and a knowledge of being less than. I have always been overweight, unattractive and poor. Looked upon and treated like a lepper.
People always say your a great guy, smart, fun, nice, blah blah blah. But when the chips are down, its just me. Holding the bag while they all […]
I don’t know where to start.
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. That alone was absolute hell. Every day was about reading the bible and going door to door to convert people. I never had time to be a kid. To make it worse fun was practically a sin. When pokemon came around I wasn’t aloud to play, because Pokemon were “Demons”. When Harry Potter came around I wasn’t aloud to read, because harry potter is a “Warlock.” Instead I spent my entire youth learning how to speak in tongues, how to convert someone, that I’m a bad person. There were no holidays in my […]
It’s funny how once you make a decision life is a lot more calm. I know that I want to die and I know that I want it to be soon. I don’t have official plans and I don’t know if it will be on my own time or if it will be because I am careless and get into an accident. Either way will be ok. I just know it is my time to go. I feel calm knowing that my decision is made. I am in no way happy, the days are long but soon it will be over.
back again. and again. and again. why won’t it stop?? i wish it would stop coming back. that feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness. the utter lack of happiness. it never leaves, just goes to sleep for awhile. almost 3 years now. but now its back and im scared and alone and i cant get out of this hole. i dont want to be here anymore. please just make it stop. i want out. but i’m trapped in this fucking circle and i cant get away from it. sadness. depression. anger. death. the only things i can count on to never leave
Well I’m still around. Just want to post to encourage myself and maybe others to keep trying. Im not sure If Ive gotten any better over the last 8 months. A lot of meds, counselling and quitting addictions and I’m still suicidal.
It’s 4.25am and I’ve just came home from an hour long walk, the truth is I was looking to commit suicide tonight and my chosen method was to jump off a high ledge and land in the sea, dying of either shock, head injuiry, drowning or hypothermia or a combination of them all. I live in a seaside town so I thought this would be a very easy thing to accomplish but the highest point in the town where it would be possible to die is fenced off with barb wire. I spent a while looking for a lot of other spots but no where […]
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