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Triggers: The person you love.

by Rey 8/20/2014

written by Rey

The last thing he ever said to me was “I question the authenticity to the ‘horrors’ you describe as having happened to you.”

We broke up 3 months ago and I saw him for the first time today. Just walked past me, 3 seconds all up. It left me fucked for the rest of the day. I didn’t think someone who loved me, brought me into his home to meet his family, could deny the existence of my struggle in such a malicious way.

I feel like an idiot for still loving him.

8/20/2014 5 comments

the world is not beautiful, not right now

by trapped_taco 8/20/2014

written by trapped_taco

hi, first post. Suicide’s been in the news for the first time in a while, it seems..

I’ve been thinking about suicide and how the idea that it is bad, conflicts with several messages society sends. the idea that it is acceptable conflicts with other societal messages, and the idea it’s good obviously conflicts with many messages.

but just sort of thinking about life, society, humanity as a whole…. for anyone who tends to think logically on a macro (to the point where it’s difficult to form emotional attachments to real people in your close surroundings), why do people send out black-and-white messages to people? Whether it’s […]

8/20/2014 3 comments

running away..

by katiebear12 8/20/2014

written by katiebear12

That’s almost what I did today. I barely stopped myself. I was just overwhelmed. My mom yelled at me, my brother treated me badly, I’ve been depressed for weeks now (constantly). I’ve lost almost all my friends. I’m being forced to face my day (by my mother) when I can’t even get up.

And I face the monster in front of me everyday: my past.

Many tell me: what you did meant nothing. It’s the past. My pain meant nothing? The fact I gave away something I can’t get back is nothing? It being in the past doesn’t change anything.

So today I’m running. Away from everything. I’m […]

8/20/2014 1 comment

Questions

by KissOfDeath 8/20/2014

written by KissOfDeath

What in life makes it so hard for you to stay?

What is your magic potion?

What has made you stay this long?

What’s the thing you’ll miss the most?

Who do you think will miss you the most?

8/20/2014 17 comments

Just Another Lousy Poem

by KissOfDeath 8/20/2014

written by KissOfDeath

It’s hard to pick yourself up,

after you fallen.

It’s hard to “cheer up,”

when you have felt this way for years.

It’s had to “move on”

when your life is a stop sign.

8/20/2014 2 comments

Is this just me?

by footyfan20 8/20/2014

written by footyfan20

I just feel like I am the only person who really feels and thinks the way that I do. To me, everything seems like a dream, like one of these days I will wake up and things will be completely different. Who I am right now cannot possibly be the person who I once was and who I really am. Everything is hazy and I can’t remember that person clearly but I feel like I know that he exists, he’s just lost. This barely makes sense to me as a write it and I don’t think I would ever be able to explain it clearly […]

8/20/2014 3 comments

I’m damaged goods

by heartshapedpapercuts 8/20/2014

written by heartshapedpapercuts

It’s too late for me I’m already damaged goods. I’m nothing but a concoction of regrets and despair. My insides are full of darkness. Wallowing in despair plotting my own demise smiling is my best disguise. People keep telling me to “keep pushing it gets better” and when it doesn’t they say it again but they never really mean. I ask them “what for?” and they tell me “because that’s just how life is. Well I don’t enjoy “life” and I never really have. Disappointment after disappointment embarrassing moments always feeling uncomfortable. I guess thats just how it is when you’re a foster child, constantly […]

8/20/2014 3 comments

Permanent Scars

by KissOfDeath 8/20/2014

written by KissOfDeath

Our eyes met,

and for some reason I just couldn’t resist you,

I fell fast and so did you.

But then the sweet words you called me turned sour,

the touching wasn’t so gentle anymore,

you left bruises and scars,

but somehow it felt better to go through this pain with you,

than without.

I never believed in God,

but I started praying for death,

hoping some greater power could take me out of this misery.

Your mean words became my reality,

and my bruises you left on my body never healed,

they were permanent.

I left you, with swollen eyes and a heavy heart,

never knowing if I would find someone that would make me so miserably happy.

8/20/2014 4 comments

I can’t wait for the apocalypse

by Engie 8/19/2014

written by Engie

I can’t wait for the apocalypse. Maybe it will be Ebola, or Russia vs. The West or North Korea will finally build its first working ICBM. Maybe all of these will happen at the same time.

Then all I need is enough sertraline to make sure I still feel nothing while I sit back and watch the world burn.

8/19/2014 18 comments

Need Advice…Please???

by darkartist93 8/19/2014

written by darkartist93

So, I have to write an application essay for a program at school, and it asked to chronically the force(s) the influenced my life direction and decision apply in the first place. The issue is that those forces were having lived in a not always safe situation for most of my life, and kinda wanting to duck out early as a result of it. The problem is I can’t mention that because of the type of program that this is will immediately reject me… and that’s with out knowing that I have had no idea how to consistently keep waking up in the morning for […]

8/19/2014 3 comments

The silence is deafening

by candygrl 8/19/2014

written by candygrl

The silence is deafening at times, my heart is filled with pain, sorrow and loneliness. Heartache has once again settled in to stay for awhile. How many more times should I try love again, over and over, really whats the point? They say to have loved and lost is better than not to have loved at all! I say fuck love!!

So the new me.. Im not leaving home unless I have to, Im not speaking to anyone unless necessary. Im just going to stop caring about everyone including my family. I guess this is a forced silence, well not forced, chosen. Im choosing to stop […]

8/19/2014 12 comments

Feel As If I Can’t Do This Anymore

by LostInPain 8/19/2014

written by LostInPain

I am so very lonely..and tired. I lost the love of my life seven years ago….we had been married for nine years. He died suddenly of a heart attack and I was the one who found him dead. I can’t explain how much I loved this man and how him dying at 39 yrs old almost killed me too. I had been disabled a few years before he died, I have spinal and brain tumors, and the surgeries not only disabled me, but caused me so much pain in the aftermath, that I lost my job as a trauma nurse because […]

8/19/2014 4 comments

Pathetic

by depressednihilist95 8/19/2014

written by depressednihilist95

I feel like I’ll never emotionally connect with anybody. I have changed quite a bit in high school, since many of my friends moved away after elementary. I’ve become more cynical and depressive since then. People just don’t like a bitter personality. Also, admittedly, I’m lazy, but not couch potato lazy: I rarely watch TV because the news is depressing and reality TV is just a distraction from reality, so I either go on the computer or sleep. Many see this as a flaw and something that should be changed, but I think that this is who I am. I believe that life is pointless […]

8/19/2014 2 comments

zopiclones kicking in

by heliumhood 8/19/2014

written by heliumhood

night all

8/19/2014 1 comment

MY REASON FOR LEAVING

by heliumhood 8/19/2014

written by heliumhood

Ihave been asked by a number of people why I am making my exit.

heres why, and the names have been changed

My partner and I met in Mid 1999 and lived on a small cul de sac in a small northern UK from June 99 to November 2011.
This accusation came to light in June 2013.
We became friends with a family where we used to live. Mum (Angela) Father (Peter) Son (Robert 9 yrs old) along with an older brother (Michael) and younger one (Elliot) in 2006

Damien (my partner) and I have always preferred to keep our own counsel, and whilst we were on […]

8/19/2014 6 comments

Done.

by StruggleOn 8/19/2014

written by StruggleOn

I am so alone, so weak, so not anything worth keeping up a fight for.

You know those feelings that are so strong they just become unexplainable? That’s what this is like.

So now what am I supposed to say? “Goodbye cruel world.” Or whatever. No, there is nothing left to say, only to do. Go. Leave. Exit.

8/19/2014 6 comments

Whats your Choice?

by Broken_Soul 8/19/2014

written by Broken_Soul

Be carful of your own mind,it may not seem like it but u could be in denial,its a tricky thing really there isnt many ways to tell if your lying to yourself.well I can give you one way to absolutely tell if your in denial about something.Look for the tick.that split second feeling of unsure and insecure.that one off moment.if u pay attention you’ll realize just how big of a lie you’ve told yourself.I talk from experience it works but only if you have sharp senses about what goes on in your mind.A tip so u dont have to be like the rest of the […]

8/19/2014 1 comment

practise will make it perfect.

by heliumhood 8/19/2014

written by heliumhood

had my 1st practise with my home made hood today and it worked perfectly. I begin back at work next week as a self employed driver, and my last few weeks will be so that I can leave my partner enough money to clear some last bills, and pay for a cremation, and with the exception of rehoming my 2 dogs, all is fine for my departure. I have decided to make my exit away from the home we share, as I would not like my other half to find me.

the weird thing is I feel perfectly calm, less depressed and a lot less exhausted […]

8/19/2014 3 comments

Just about had it with myself..

by Amswilli 8/19/2014

written by Amswilli

I’ve been miserable for as long as I can remember. I’m a fully-grown adult now and it’s followed me everywhere. My situation in life is a complete failure, socially and financially. Unemployed, birthday coming up and no prospects for anything. I am about to be evicted and have no plan whatsoever for the future. Everyone who knows me I am a burden on, and honestly I think the world would be better off without someone like me here. I’m worthless, so it wont matter if I’m not here anymore. I’ll be missed by a few, but they will be relieved when the nuisance that is […]

8/19/2014 0 comment

Sticks and Stones

by littlewriter 8/19/2014

written by littlewriter

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will rip my skin apart.

8/19/2014 2 comments

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