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The silence is deafening

by candygrl
written by candygrl

The silence is deafening at times, my heart is filled with pain, sorrow and loneliness. Heartache has once again settled in to stay for awhile. How many more times should I try love again, over and over, really whats the point? They say to have loved and lost is better than not to have loved at all! I say fuck love!!

So the new me.. Im not leaving home unless I have to, Im not speaking to anyone unless necessary. Im just going to stop caring about everyone including my family. I guess this is a forced silence, well not forced, chosen. Im choosing to stop […]

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Feel As If I Can’t Do This Anymore

by LostInPain
written by LostInPain

I am so very lonely..and tired. I lost the love of my life seven years ago….we had been married for nine years. He died suddenly of a heart attack and I was the one who found him dead. I can’t explain how much I loved this man and how him dying at 39 yrs old almost killed me too. I had been disabled a few years before he died, I have spinal and brain tumors, and the surgeries not only disabled me, but caused me so much pain in the aftermath, that I lost my job as a trauma nurse because […]

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Pathetic

by depressednihilist95
written by depressednihilist95

I feel like I’ll never emotionally connect with anybody. I have changed quite a bit in high school, since many of my friends moved away after elementary. I’ve become more cynical and depressive since then. People just don’t like a bitter personality. Also, admittedly, I’m lazy, but not couch potato lazy: I rarely watch TV because the news is depressing and reality TV is just a distraction from reality, so I either go on the computer or sleep. Many see this as a flaw and something that should be changed, but I think that this is who I am. I believe that life is pointless […]

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MY REASON FOR LEAVING

by heliumhood
written by heliumhood

Ihave been asked by a number of people why I am making my exit.

heres why, and the names have been changed

My partner and I met in Mid 1999 and lived on a small cul de sac in a small northern UK from June 99 to November 2011.
This accusation came to light in June 2013.
We became friends with a family where we used to live. Mum (Angela) Father (Peter) Son (Robert 9 yrs old) along with an older brother (Michael) and younger one (Elliot) in 2006

Damien (my partner) and I have always preferred to keep our own counsel, and whilst we were on […]

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Done.

by StruggleOn
written by StruggleOn

I am so alone, so weak, so not anything worth keeping up a fight for.

You know those feelings that are so strong they just become unexplainable?  That’s what this is like.

So now what am I supposed to say? “Goodbye cruel world.” Or whatever.  No, there is nothing left to say, only to do. Go. Leave. Exit.

image

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Whats your Choice?

by Broken_Soul
written by Broken_Soul

Be carful of your own mind,it may not seem like it but u could be in denial,its a tricky thing really there isnt many ways to tell if your lying to yourself.well I can give you one way to absolutely tell if your in denial about something.Look for the tick.that split second feeling of unsure and insecure.that one off moment.if u pay attention you’ll realize just how big of a lie you’ve told yourself.I talk from experience it works but only if you have sharp senses about what goes on in your mind.A tip so u dont have to be like the rest of the […]

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practise will make it perfect.

by heliumhood
written by heliumhood

had my 1st practise with my home made hood today and it worked perfectly. I begin back at work next week as a self employed driver, and my last few weeks will be so that I can leave my partner enough money to clear some last bills, and pay for a cremation, and with the exception of rehoming my 2 dogs, all is fine for my departure. I have decided to make my exit away from the home we share, as I would not like my other half to find me.

the weird thing is I feel perfectly calm, less depressed and a lot less exhausted […]

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Just about had it with myself..

by Amswilli
written by Amswilli

I’ve been miserable for as long as I can remember. I’m a fully-grown adult now and it’s followed me everywhere. My situation in life is a complete failure, socially and financially. Unemployed, birthday coming up and no prospects for anything. I am about to be evicted and have no plan whatsoever for the future. Everyone who knows me I am a burden on, and honestly I think the world would be better off without someone like me here. I’m worthless, so it wont matter if I’m not here anymore. I’ll be missed by a few, but they will be relieved when the nuisance that is […]

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How much have I changed

by Namelessqueer
written by Namelessqueer

I was watching a video I made when I was 12 years old. I had similar feelings to the ones I feels now;  “if my friend doesn’t want to make time to come to visit me and i’m doing all the work in visiting them, they’re aren’t my friend”

It kinda shocked me because I didn’t realized how deep and how far back these feelings go.  Who knew.

Anyway, I moved to a new place recently, and though it lightens the load, I still feel heavy. Hopefully the excitement of change will distract me for a good time before I spiral again.

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Belladonna?

by Self_inflicted89
written by Self_inflicted89

would it work? I think it might, I just don’t know the side effects. I’m 25 now and have been struggling with my depression anxiety and mania since I was 11. They added borderline personality disorder as a comorbid to my bipolar II when I was 20. I just don’t have it in me anymore to do this. I am a coward, and don’t want it to hurt. I already hurt enough all the time. So I want death to be painless. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up. I just want to sleep forever and ever. And that makes me […]

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Can’t find a way out

by pixiepojmansky
written by pixiepojmansky

Hi, I’ve been fighting against depression for 15 years and I think I’ve finally given up on that battle. I can’t take it anymore. I just create havoc around me, and I drag people’s lives into misery with me.

I’m the only child of a deeply disturbed and disturbing woman. To everyone who doesn’t know her she seems to be a loving, caring person, quirky at most, but to those who are near her, she comes out as she is: plain scary. She’s violent, contradictory, manipulative. Ever since I was a young child I stood no chance to grow up to be normal, to be social, […]

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in december I wont be here

by DeadGirlNotFound
written by DeadGirlNotFound

I will kill myself in december when I wont get admission in my favourite college to pursue my passion. I have some months in hand. I will ..be so sad then I might fall back again into depression. I mean right now things are okay so u see im alive still after two attempts. But then people will have a reason to see why I died. If I died now people will call me a fool. Im useless I wont pass the examination so there comes no question of admission. Waiting for that precious day.. when I will rent a hotel and there I will […]

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An Old Poem

by teardownthewall
written by teardownthewall

I was looking through my old writings and found this. Just thought I’d post it.

I didn’t lose.
I didn’t lose for sure.

I never wanted to consume
something so horrible.
I never wanted to get shaken
by spoiled thoughts.

I fought.
I fought for all the rights
that concern me.

I did not lose.
I won.
I won and kept on living.

My friends have lost.
I kicked them to the ground and broke their bones so that they may never want me.
My family has lost.
I sent them away in my heart to avoid the pain of reality.
My loss came to my form.
I have hit […]

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MirrorMirror

by MirrorMirrorOnMyWall
written by MirrorMirrorOnMyWall

Mirror, mirror, on my wall,
I just want to be thin, pretty and tall

Mirror, mirror, if I change my hair,
maybe someone will start to care?

Mirror, mirror, if I starve myself,
at least I’ll be beautiful, forget my health.

Mirror, mirror, if I cut my wrist
will I feel like I exist?

Mirror, Mirror, don’t you see?
What you show, is ruining me.

For far too long it had watched her cry,
so the mirror decided to reply:

“What you think you see? It isn’t true.
This misery is found inside of you.

Don’t lock yourself in a broken soul,
or I promise […]

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Shadow

by KissOfDeath
written by KissOfDeath

During the day my smile hides my feelings,

at night they come out,

that dull, empty feeling,

consumes me.

The urges come back,

my mind wonders.

How can you be so sad,

when no one has a clue,

I’m the master of disguise,

My feelings are my shadow,

my black cape I hide behind.

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Fear or Love? You Choose.

by jasonsbigsis
written by jasonsbigsis

I feel like I’m on the brink of something. I am afraid to post this but I will, because I love. Consider this my love letter to all of you beautiful, compassionate souls, and excuse the length. If one person finds one phrase that jumps out at them or comfort, or just provides a little something to ponder, I will be happy. Every day, little things are showing themselves to me and they all mean something. Think whatever you like, I’ve never been one to force what I believe, judge, claim to understand everything, or say there is only one way to do something. There […]

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Broken

by noir
written by noir

I know what you are thinking, you are depresed cause you broke up.

Well yes i am, i started dating my couple on 13/4/2013, as you can guess for me it was quite hard to get a couple i had to decide if i needed a guy or a girl (that was actually realy realy hard to me cause in the inside i want to be loved and protected and cared, but  in the outside im still male so i have to wear that mascarade of strongness and self security, so yeah for me it was a riddle, and still, anyway…) i met many people in […]

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