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I started cutting myself when I was 11 years old, after my best friend die from cancer. My mom was everything to me, when she left I felt like there was no point in being happy when the person you love is gone now. With my mom I feel like im nothing with out her she was my everything. People ask how im doing all I have to do is put a FAKE SMILE on so that they dontsee right through me. WHAT IS LIFE ABOUT ANYMORE!!
For eight years I had maintained the defenses of my mind. They protected me from the pain of existence; they allowed me function, to act, like a normal human being. And they kept me alive. I was living a lonely life, but I was content.
And then I met you. Something happened. The walls in my mind shook, shifted, and I felt a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time. A desire to get to know this person. A desire to want this person in my life.
I was scared. I had spent so long keeping my distance from people. As I got to know you […]
Been dating a girl for almost a year now and we couldn’t be happier , but I’m scared because every girl I’ve ever been with has cheated on me… I mean I’m accustomed to being cheated on :/ its beome a fact of relationships for me, but this one hasn’t cheated on me…. but I’m sure she will And the thought of her with someone ELSE is gut wrenching and painful 🙁 I’m just SO scared that the day is coming… it always seems to. I’m never good enough and its only a matter of time before she sees I’m not good enough and she […]
The cutting has started but where from here if only there was a rope that was near.
To know i have to start all over again, whats the point? im 30 years old with with nothing on my side but a knife to help me take my mind off you.
A little slice here, a little slice there.. it all starts small but eventually will become larger. this is how i deal with my life…. Every slice is everytime i think of you.. every slice for everytime i think how my life is shit, every slice to help me take my mind of the world.
down n out
How do you actually know if you’re a living with depression or not?? Yeah you read up on it but how do you actually know. Only recently I’ve had thoughts about killing myself again. Had these thoughts in the past but never gone through with it. Like HOLY FK could my life get any worse now? no money, no savings, filed bankruptcy, a car that needs fixing and now it’s being reprocessed, a gf who wants to leave overseas (but really who would blame her for leaving) it’s in her best interest she leaves me cause I’m just nothing wasted space.. Can’t make the right […]
For a while now, I have seriously been considering suicide. I am not bullied or anything, I just feel like I don’t belong here. I don’t think anyone would miss me and I am better off dead. I don’t see a point in living anymore. No one loves me, how could they? I want so bad to be happy, but I just can’t. I still can’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t just end it all. I have considered many ways, from choking myself, starving myself, cutting myself, overdosing on pills, and even stabbing myself. I just can’t do it anymore. Everyday I can […]
I’m wanting my pills again. I know where I can get some too… I’m craving them. Badly. I obviously haven’t and won’t stop cutting. I just I don’t know. I know it’s not good but I ant them so bad.
Look at the tree and choose the one that is immediately most appealing to you.
Pick your tree before you look at the results!
Don’t think about it too long, just choose, and find out what your choice says about your personality, please have FUN and share your choice in the comments below…
The results!
You are a generous and moral (not to confuse with moralizing) person. You always work on self-improvement. You are very ambitious and have very high standards. People might think that communicating with you […]
Hi Guys,
How are you? How’s your life? How is your day? Don’t forget to comment down below how you are! I do want to know!
NOTE: Really sorry for this being a long post… I didn’t really try to… Writing is the only way I can get my feelings out.
How am I? Does it even matter how I am? Does it matter? Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. How am I? Physically? Sore. Bruised. Hurt. Scarred. Mentally? Broken. In Pain. Hurt. Scared.
My physical state… I keep getting headaches… Waking up this morning I hit my head on my wall and it hurt like crazy, but […]
Damnit. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let myself hope and think that it’s going to be ok? How do other people handle it? How do they just move on from people, how do they keep breathing and living and laughing? I need serious help, because it’s clear that I’m not getting better. And I don’t know what to do. I’m scared.
So I started my first day at work experience today. And I can already tick off things I have already done to humiliate myself. Â And yes, I timed each thing and wrote it down in a journal.
9:12am: I started to think they were watching me with all these hidden cameras and shit (I think this all the time, I even think there are hidden cameras in my house so people can spy on me).
9:35am: I had a panic attack because someone asked me where hamster food was.
9:52am: I had another panic attack because someone asked about collar […]
anyone left here from ireland?
I am so tired of fighting… Fighting against the pain, fighting against these stupid thoughts and insecurities. I am tired of having to justify why I am not able to do things in allotted time due to my physical difficulties… If I don’t mean anything, why do I exist… Can’t I just go to sleep and never wake up again…
For the last few years I didn’t see the point in filing taxes  if I was just going to kill myself. I doubt the IRS sends agents into the afterlife to collect on delinquent accounts.
Since I never did get around to killing myself, I went ahead and dropped off three years worth of income tax info with a local CPA today. Â I’ll get caught up with the govt. Â and hopefully get a large enough refund to take an Ayuhuasca adventure I’ve been planning for awhile now. Ayahuasca is a powerful hallucinogenic compound which originated in the Amazon rainforest. I can’t think of any better way to […]
When I said I think about suicide she was pretty baffled, but whatever, I wouldn’t think I was suicidal myself if I didn’t know better. So we talked about it and she told me several options, visiting a psychiatrist, a psychologist, or staying at a clinic for several weeks. I am not sure yet which one I am going to choose, but I have plenty of time till the next meeting.
One thing that bothered me though was this: I didn’t know how to tell her about my suicidal thoughts so I just said I was member of an online-forum … a suicide forum. She wasn’t […]
I thought I once knew who or what you are. I am not stupid; I can see the wondrous universe and all of its beautiful order and structure and I know this did not happen by chance. But all I know of you now is the pain you think I and others need. I awaken every day with my addictions to something better and my burning desire to leave my broken body and relieve the searing burn of my broken spirit. I am through begging a higher power for delivery. I am done feeling the compulsion to dig an artery out of one of my […]
I want to die. I really want to die, because I can’t take anymore of this hell. I’m a sophomore in high school, and barely hanging on. Parents hate me, telling me that theyve been trying to tell me they’re doing things for me. How can I believe that when they get pissed off at everything I do that they hate, whether it be major or trivial, and tell me to lie for their benefit? And I get beaten for it, no matter what I do. All I ask is for peace, yet no matter how much I try to get good grades, I can’t. […]
bullies in the army. Some shitbags making fun of Abagis for being gay, he was accepted by us back at basic training. For him to slit his wrists and be chaptered out for his suicide attempts. I want to hurt those bastards for that yet i take no action against my bullies on the homefront in the army. I should just fight back full fledged (starts out with shit talking then gets physical and i punch back and they kick harder and suddenly theyre beating on me in formations. I guess i should be the one beating on them. The. It’ll be fights behind closed […]
I live a life that’s not really mine. My mother has been emotionally and physically abusing me since I was a young girl. My father left when I was only seven years old, and lives with his fancy girlfriend. He doesn’t care what happens in my life. I acheive high grades, I have friends, and I seem like a normal girl externally. Internally, I am forever suppressing an intense desire to put an end to my life. I only find comfort in dance, music, poetry, and for some strange reason, science. However, I dread every moment I spend at home with my mother. I live […]
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