For general topics related to the site.
i am supposed to turn this chaos in my mind into order.
but i just feel lost most of the time.
hey how is everyone?
i like coming here and seeing people talk. of course, it’s better for them if they aren’t here. but you know, at least you have a place to go to when you’re feeling at your worst.
me i come here when i dont feel very good, i feel overwhelmed and like my world is crashing. for a while now im doing very badly and not sure where to take it.
when im writing here i am usually hyperventilating a little and i feel like im going into a super panic or fight/flight mode and everything feels really like black/white.
i am not sure i am […]
I was suppose to be strung up like a puppet soon but my husband woke with a headache….. Maybe another day for now I drink
I’m feelin’ lost and I don’t know where else to go now
I don’t really have a place to call my home now
Everybody hatin’ and I feel so cold now
Why do everybody make me feel alone like?
I’m feelin’ lost and I don’t know where else to go now
I don’t really have a place to call my home now
Everybody hatin’ and I feel so cold now
Why do everybody make me feel alone like?
I’ve got so much […]
I’ve been coming back to this site for the past couple days, reading everyone’s stories and methods. I found a way to exit that I feel most comfortable with and am in the process of gathering the materials. Before I move forward I want to first share my story. Not necessarily for others to read but more so to just finally let out all I’ve been holding in: I thought I was meant to live. I thought I was supposed to one day share my story and be a light for others in the darkness of depression. I thought I was meant to be here. […]
An open letter to the people that successfully shutdown a forum that I can no longer turn to.
(Anyone from SS out there? Xx)
Dear people,
With the best intentions you have not saved us nor anyone. If anything you’ve more than likely tipped hundreds, maybe thousands from around the world but mainly US and UK
over the edge. All you have done is made our living conditions worse by taking away the one place that we could access 24/7 where we could talk openly to people who understand without fear of being judged, sectioned or patronised. What you’ve done is take away a very large support […]
i’m unable to remember much from those years.
those years.
those nine excruciatingly long years of abuse.
there’s no getting that time back.
that time is gone.
those years are gone. i will never be that young again.
i can’t recall a childhood when it never existed.
fantasies are the only one to remove ur self from ur harsh reality
I can not take it any more …………..i want dia but why am i scared idk
.
.
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For those with high anxiety (when will he tell?!) I’ll relieve you straight out; it’s money. Me and money both get along too well, and get along not well enough.
So, why do I despise/love money as I despise/love myself? Step into my mind; my parents did okay, mostly because up until the mid 90s there was such a thing as a upper middle class, and that’s where I grew up, adjacent to very wealthy people. I went to private schools with them, and nothing I experienced in my childhood convinced me that the other kids had it better; their parents ran after money all day, […]
seldom do i ever have a moment where i am free from the pain, free from the trauma that plagues me relentlessly
seldom do i ever have a moment
where i don’t hear your fucking voice, ******. where i don’t feel empty. when i escaped from you, i forgot to bring my identity with me. i have no idea who i am. you managed to steal me away from myself before i had the chance to run.
you conditioned me to believe that you are the only one who could ever understand someone like me.
who could ever love someone like me.
you conditioned me into forfeiting my right to make […]
Hi, i used come here a lot as a teenager to this website, i was hailey_baby not sure if any of you remember me. Depression is dragging me around and knocking me down again. Im 27 now, married and have a decent job. I feel like everyone in my hubands family hates. Me i feel like im waiting around for some girl prettier, smarter or sexier woman to come around and take my husband away. Ive always felt the lowest of the low. Ive always hatedd myself. Its so sad to feel this way.
When almost nothing brings you joy anymore
Making music as well as exercise gave me the strength to cope with my depression at times. But for awhile now I’ve noticed that i lost interest in what once brought joy to me.
I no longer play guitar or piano like i used to. I don’t exercise like before and mostly spend my days on the couch on my phone, watching TV and playing video games.
A new and unusual interest
When i started losing my interest in my usual hobby’s that kept me from literally killing myself, i gained an interest in…mathematics! It’s quite strange, but for some reason whenever […]
i am my biggest abuser. every chance im putting myself down. im stupid for doing the things i do. im worthless and a burden for ever saying anything. i shouldnt even be breathing i cant fucking do anything right. if theres something to say, its going to be said.
and the worse part……..she’s right. every word
i cant not hate myself
Hey, I’m sorry if this is all over the place. Right now my mind is just a jumbled amalgamation of words that I just can’t seem to convey properly. I didn’t want to leave a suicide note, personally they make me want to off myself, but I couldn’t just go without leaving something for you. You’re just so important to me, it breaks my heart to just disappear without giving you a piece of my soul.
I’ve missed you so dearly, I miss you more than anything in the world. I hold you so close to my heart always. you know, you’re absolutely my favorite person. […]
I hope you all don’t mind, but sometimes I have a hard time articulating the lack of anything that I feel, so instead I take bit and pieces of phrases I see on this website and put them in my art journal. I sort of like it- it’s like an amalgamation of everyone’s suffering and hopes. it’s flawed like a broken mirror but all the pieces fit together so nicely. anyway, I hope you find a bit of yourself in my artwork : )
Intro: This post is about my depression through out the years ranging from childhood to young adulthood. The post is comprised of approximately 900 words and has an average reading time of 4-5 minutes.
Hope it’s not too long!
Childhood
I have been struggling with depression for years since childhood (Now 25 years old). It never quite struck me that i was depressed up until i hit the age of 12, when i first thought of suicide. I remember feeling so unhappy that 12 year old me just wanted to end it all by strangling myself with a belt.
My depression started to manifest out of bad circumstances such […]
I see quite a few people unhappy with feeling nothing. If you haven’t known agony, I suppose nothing might seem unpleasant. I’m a big fan of nothing, that empty void which cannot be filled and doesn’t desire so. That’s me today, after several days of being moderately feeling, I awoke today to feel nothing. I look at my hands, arms, legs, body, and they are just a facile set of window dressing, very little to do with me. I feel like a parade balloon, others pull me along by my guide lines, I just bob and nod, look at the meaningless man, is it Easter […]
One might ask you, do you see the glass as half full or half empty.
But…
Both answers are correct. (unless we’re gonna get stupid and start measuring millimeters (liters, depending on how you’re measuring it))
My mother is VERY narcissistic. Always finds a way to make every situation about herself. When I sit back and think, I realize that I’m often doing the same, just not out loud. I don’t project my narcissism onto others and I feel that makes me better/? than her in some ways. But my narcissism has taken ahold of my suicidal thoughts.
I’ve always wanted to die ever since I was young, but these past couple years the one constant reason I have for wanting to kill myself, is to see who’d show up for my funeral. I want to see who shows up, who cries […]
hey you know all the people here who are single and sad because of it
I don’t know your situation but
i can confidently say it is better to be single than in a relationship that is awful
please please dont compromise
dont settle
dont tell yourself things will be different
only if
only if
because you are who you are
and you will never change
not really
never enter a relationship, especially a marriage, that shows signs of breaking
Just save yourself
Please
you have no idea how soul-whittling it is
every day
you lose
just a little bit of happiness
just a little bit of yourself
until there is nothing but bitterness
and the cold grayness dwelling in your heart
and before you know […]