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It’s all I am. A cutter.
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I’ve lived more than half my life, only to realize I haven’t lived at all. I’ve existed, for what purpose I don’t know. Life’s amusement I suppose. I always picture those old movies where the gods are standing idly by over some sort of cauldron as the human race slowly imploads. Only I see myself a puppet guided by the slightest of hand, made to teeter with one foot firmly on solid ground and the other dangling into the abyss of the unknown. Funny thing is I don’t believe in god or the like. I do however believe in kharma and the ability of a […]
Help me I’m trapped here, I’m stuck in pain.
It hurts more and more each day, I’m just going insane.
I’m stuck in this place full of hurt and suffering,
The tug and pull of depression, the cut with the sting.
The tears tell a story, one that’s to great to hear,
But if you listen carefully, you can see the fear.
Each cut shows how I am really weak,
You can see pain and I don’t even have to speak.
I’m tired of ending my nights with a cry,
Praying to anyone, that I could just die.
I’m dead. I don’t seem dead, I can breathe and taste food and smell flowers, and I don’t look dead but I AM DEAD. My mind has turned into decay, bit by bit it’s crumbling to dust. A lunatic lives inside here, a scavenger that feeds upon my decaying soul.
I look in the mirror and I don’t see my silhouette anymore, all I see is this thing that’s consuming me and my shadow behind it like a forgotten whisper of who I was once upon a time. I’ve shredded everything that has made me once me, my faith and my imagination are gone and […]
Okay, this will be long winded. I’m sorry.
I’m 22 years old. For the past ten years, I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety. I’ve been officially diagnosed with severe depression, severe anxiety, severe social anxiety and borderline post traumatic stress disorder.
I’ve been through a lot in my life, but I’ll make it short. As a kid, my mom was a pot head and she slept all day while my dad worked two jobs, only seeing him for about 15 minutes a day. Thus, I was left alone a lot as a kid with my brother. My parents eventually split up and my siblings and I […]
I’m screwed for life I just want to die painfully and just suffer. I’m gone. Bye.
How may years has it been? How many years must I endure my hate, anager, self loathing? I will never get “better” and I’ll never kill myself. So I’m doomed to a lifetime of pure suffering. How long will heaven or hell make me wait?
i’ve been having this feeling,
this feeling of nonexistence.
it’s as if i’m not quite here,
i have no purpose,
i’m nothingness,
worthless,
simply air.
Hello there,
I’m not really sure how this is done so I suppose I’ll just go ahead and start off. (I apologize if it’s hard to follow.)
Uhm, well, I was actually raised relatively well, all things considered. Both parents were present, working, and in healthy condition. I was also the only child within the household.
Life was pretty privileged, normal, but rather quiet, as everyone mainly kept to themselves in the household. There weren’t any major conflicts or fights, and alot of my time, along with my father, was spent on the Computer, whether it ranged from activities such as educational programs or games or whatever I used […]
It is Monday the day of the Boston Marathon where 2 bombs went off. Innocent children hurt and killed, I feel really bad for the families that have been affected by it all. I don’t understand the need to hurt other people, especially little children.
Then on the other hand I wish I could have been there close enough to be one of the people that were killed. Then maybe it would not affect my family as bad as if I were to do it myself. Their guilt or pain would be different.
No notes would need to be left. Insurance would be […]
I love how almost everyone on this website always says things like “we’re all here for you” “you’re not alone” “we know your pain” etc, myself included, but it’s not true.
Every time I go on this website there are posts with tons of supportive comments. But for every post like that, there are 5 or so that go completely ignored.
If we’re really all here for each other, then we should make an effort to include everyone.
Just imagine, you’re alone and depressed and suicidal and you find a website with people like you and you reach out to them…
and you get nothing. Nobody responds. Nobody […]
i wake up everyday wanting to die. i go to my bathroom and look in the mirror. all i see is an ugly girl who will never be good enough, i go to school. always the first person to cry because of voices saying “slut”, “whore” “suicidal freak” “go die” “emo ******” etc. i walk around school with my face covered because im to ugly to be seen. im a nobody at school. no one likes, everyone hates me. i go home and pretend nothing had happened and go to my room and slit my wrists. millions of scars on my arms bleeding. i cry […]
I couldn’t stand to even look at myself in the mirror anymore because all I saw was a fat, ugly girl with a lot of baggage.  Everybody sees me as the bubbly, happy girl in school but almost every day, I would go home and slash my wrists because I couldn’t stand myself.  I hated myself. I wished I was dead. This week was horrible.  I almost got dumped, my parents yelled at me for stupid things on multiple occasions and my days seemed to be getting longer as I couldn’t sleep.  About a year ago, I started to make myself throw up after I ate.  I […]
I’m afraid to lay my head down to sleep these days, because I’m not sure who I’ll be when I wake up. No one seems to understand my OCD, they can’t see that its eating me alive. It controls my thoughts and actions; so what is left? I’m loosing track of what is me and what is this disorder. I need help, but I’m afraid to ask. The thought of the normal treatment, antidepressants, scares me. I’m afraid to admit that I’m just another one of those kids that has been labeled with “gifted” intelligence, but fails to function as a normal human being. And what will I be […]
I just read a post here by the user JerzyBoy. It broke my heart to read that such a beautiful soul hurts so much. Dear JerzyBoy, I love you too. I must not know what it feels like to be at the end of the rope if God doesn’t even seem to help. I can’t possibly imagine your pain and your broken spirit and mind. I hope you continue to live and something miraculous happens to make your life worth while for you. To imagine you dying is breaking my mind, to be honest. To imagine you taking your own life churns my stomach and I […]
I feel horrible every time I look in the mirror. I hate the sight of my body and I try my best to cover up, though it isnt always possible. Now I’ve even started to turn the lights out in the bathroom when I step out of the shower so I dont have to look at my god awful body. The only part of me Im remotely proud of is my eyes, but that’s only because they’re not mine, they’re my mom’s.
I feel worthless, unlovable in every way. I like to read romance stories, but I always feel a pang deep in my chest because […]
I’m not sure if I am. Â I mean, I had an incredible childhood and all but the last few years have been hellish. Â I need to end this misery soon or I’ll end up in a mental institution. Â I’d say overall though that I’m glad I was born. Â If I wasn’t born I’d never know my amazing family and friends. Â But it all comes to an end eventually. Â So I’m thinking I kinda wish I was never born into this fucked up world..
But what if you were born in some third world country where all your life was suffering and pain? Â I’d probably wish I […]
let  die already. an old flame contacted me, huzband  found out, he os xoesnt trust me and doeznt wNg to come home. all  wZ talk o my ex….for a  ery ong time on the phone. now im fuckef. sorry bout tbe pelling…kindle cks.
Well lets see, im 14 guy and iv been in depression for 3 years and it started when i realized how alone i was in my life (iv never really had friends) and iv always felt alone then i met this one girl in 6th grade, we started out as friends and stayed that way. i used to be a hater and hated the idea of love but then i started liking her but i was to afraid to admit it, so i kept it a secret for about more than 2 years. i liked her but iv never liked stuff about love but i […]
Every time i’m happy .. life gets harder
Every time life gets harder, its difficult to be happy but the thing is when i do end up being happy life gets even harder then it was before. Gradually everything is falling apart … i have very few people left in my life and they don’t seem to want to listen. I’ve been strong for far too long and i know people will think i’m cowardly for taking my own life. But to be honest i just don’t feel like life wants me here anymore. I’m constantly lost in my mind trapped trying to free myself from […]