For general topics related to the site.
To my suicide project friends, please stay safe and don’t give up hope.
So Lauren came to me about a week ago, and asked me *is the brain a product of the mind, or the mind the product of the brain*
and automatically my response was *the mind a product of the brain* why? because the mind would not exist without the brain. the brain is a storage for memory, which can contribute to how the mind process and projects information. there are several parts of the brain that control emotion, danger reaction. memory, visual and auditory aid. but the question *where is the mind in the brain* has baffled even the most brilliant minds of all time.                           […]
I ..I just dont know why do i keep doing this to myself? My cutting addiction was nearly nonexistent.And then ,it got worse.I dont know how or why.It just did and i havent seem to notice that. I now do that even when im fine.It became somthing i do unconsciously, mechanically.
I want it to stop.I want ME TO STOP DOING THAT TO MYSELF.
But i cant.
Every time I decide to throw away razors, I change my mind in the last second and save them.
Like i mentioned,i was good.I took it nearly to the end,all of my scars began to fade.
I destroyed everything.Im […]
hey i know i said i was leaving the project, but idk i guess i cant yet, i like to write.
just how i feel of whatever’s on my mind and this is really the only place i can where people understand. so i guess i never left
After studying least painful suicide methods for many weeks now,  I came to conclusion that properly done partial suspension hanging is the least painful way out.  And I do have a proof.   This morning  I tried my noose that I made yesterday from strong leather belt with strong, large D-ring style buckle (one of those “Lewis” designs),  to “try and see the fit”.
I had the noose hanging from a staircase railing, put it around my neck. Â I lowered my knees and the very moment when I felt the noose closing tightly around my neck veins (without choking me), Â I realized that this would be “it”. Â My […]
would you be mad? would you miss me? would i miss out on somthing i would have lived for….  i wish i didnt dwell on  what ifs, because they never happen anyways…  im always alone…  nobody every wants to be with me… so why not just do it…  why torture myself any longer…  i just think…  this time im done…  im sry
I stumbled on this site looking for stories like mine i was devasted to find ppl contemplating suicide. i lost my fiance to suicide 8 mnths ago we were together 9yrs and soulmates I’m now 25yrs old and left to raise our 6yr old daughter alone i watch her cry for her dad every night as do i. i canot express or explain the pain i feel it is unbearable and to watch your daughters pain wile dealing with your own is enough to make u insaine. loosing a loved one to suicide is da worst way possible you are left with feelings of not […]
There’s no upside to anything anymore, i don’t have the motivation to keep pretending everything is okay. But I’d rather walk in the middle of a busy street than just face it. Nothing matters in my life anymore. I don’t have friends, family, or loved ones. I should just go into my closet pull out the Judge and get it over with. But I’d hate for my roommates to have to clean up the mess. It’s pathetic when your only reason for living is to not inconvenience others.
Stumbled across this site as I was feeling down about Valentine’s Day yesterday. I hate the day. I’m a bit of a nerd and geek and still single. All my life I seemed to make stupid mistakes and never seemed good enough.
I’ve gone as far as tie ropes around my neck, write suicide notes, and pack my stuff to make it easier for those left behind to clean my mess.
I still struggle with suicidal thoughts but not as bad as when I was younger. I’m 45yo now.
What has helped me is to focus on others. Volunteering at church, making friends […]
I wish I would have found a site like this 6 years ago.  My life once so full of promise, senior in high school, on the dean’s list with a life of grander ahead.  Started down a bad path.  I think I’ve always been bipolar.  The highs are never better, and the lows can’t get any lower.  Started experimenting with drugs.  Found my drug of choice in pain meds.  I was good at hiding the pain on the inside with a happy face on the outside as long as I was numb enough to not care any longer.  The addiction got worse. Drinking and driving after […]
i have cried enough tears in my life time,please dont shed any more,
i know what i done was cowardly and selfish, and how ironic the last thing i ever done was selfish
this wasnt a decision that came easy, i have been tormented, for months  now,
but without any hope of me or anyone else being able change the depressive side of this illness.
my life wasnt easy but you all played a part to make it easier than it would have ,
never want you to think i didnt love you enough to fight.
you always have made me so very proud and privileged to be part of your life,
i know you will continue […]
I’m saving myself the time of writing my entire story. It’s a long one. The change in my life the loss only just happening 1 year ago this month. I’ve posted my story here once before, it was about half way through. While things have continually gotten much worse since I haven’t been this concerned with how things are going to play out. I’m at the end of having any real choice on how I leave. I’m about ready to just drink as much antifreeze as possible. I’m scared honestly to live and scared to feel any more pain. The antifreeze while painful I wouldn’t […]
It’s 4 am can’t sleep , haunted by my past unable to let it go . Keep thinking that there is only one way to make everything go away . Deep down inside I tell myself to just survive the night , it will get better tomorrow . But the thoughts keep flooding my mind , the old friends that I pushed out my life , the family members that I never talk to . Telling myself that if I let no one love me , or get close to me then it wouldn’t be like I’m hurting anyone but myself .
But […]
I’ll hold out for 2 more years. But if things don’t change by my 30th birthday, then I’m going to do it on that day at midnight. I’m tired of being stepped on, cast aside, lied to and generally fucked over, but I’m willing to try to make things better. This is the only promise I can keep in regards to taking my life. I’ve already written most of my letters to loved ones, letters of apologies and I’ll make sure I put them in a place where they can be found. I just hope that I won’t have to use them.
I cant bring myself to tell anyone. The one person i love enough to tell doesnt listen. Maybe he listens but doesnt want to know. I hate myself and the life i have. But its not a bad life which makes it so much worse. I have tried to kill myself by cutting when i was a preteen but was so chicken shit i only gave a little scratch. Then as i got older i turned to pills for the pain. Overdosing did nothing but send me off to fitfull bouts of bad dreams only to wake up with a pounding headache. As a side […]
I hadn’t posted in a while .. had to pass by to let y’all know I’m doing better
Of course, this didn’t happen overnight .. It required commitment to one decision, a lot of willpower and taking action based on that decision
Around mid-october, I took the decision that I wasn’t going to kill myself .. I was tired of thinking life could be worth it one day and to hell with this world the next day, I had to pick a side to put an end to the confusion .. It was one tough decision to make because it went against a burning desire to check […]
So a few of you knew how my mom threatened to kick me out the other day.
Well it’s happening for real. Tomorrow I’ll be packing my stuff in preparation to move out of my house and into someone else’s. There’s a couple at my church willing to let me stay in their home, so I’ll have a place to stay.
I’m 15. My mom got kicked out of her house when she was 13. My dad left his house when he was 16. I guess you could say we all moved out early.
Anyway, I just want to let you guys know that this […]
I was told that I am incapable and irresponsible. That is true and I was ashamed to realize that.
When I was young, I thought that I will grow up to be a socially desirable person–but I am nothing close to that.
People think that I am a weirdo, outcast. I do not ever hang out with people anymore. I stay home most of the time unless I have to go out for grocery shopping or something.
I cry a lot. Every time I cry, I am in a pain and sadness. and anger. I cannot get used to being alone and crying.
There have […]
I know there are some greens up in here that would get depressed at the slightest challenges and confrontations in life.it may be about what the other guys in school call you,it may be about a broken friendship or a missing school bag,it may be about a seperated family or a horny pervert..the truth is that when those updates are made up in here,it is because this kids has no one else or no where else to turn to.maybe they needed the mature opinion of the adult folks up in here.whom they ve come to respect and look up to.please adult sp folks if a […]