General

I guess my best wasnt good enough. See you all on the other side. Im done.

Everyday feels the same. Everyday I want to crawl into a corner and never come out. Does this ever end?

Hi I’m lostfaerie. I WANT TO DIE. I have wanted to die for just about every day of the last 22 years. I ‘m about to turn 33 and I’ve been suicidal since age 10. It is so hard for me to get through each day without cutting or harming myself. I truly  want to die. I’m supposed to have surgery in a week. I’m hoping that I will never wake up. All I am is a burden to my husband and family, it’s all I’ve ever been. I’m worthless, a piece of shit on the road. No one in my family understands how I […]

So.. Hi. This is my first post.
I’m not really sure what to say? But I guess how i feel or what not.
Depressed, Confused, and Alone.
My 3 best friends, who won’t dare to leave me, Like everyone else did.
I’ve been cutting for almost 7 years.
I don’t know what to do,
I don’t know how to stop.
Or if i can.
I’ve been hospitalized many times.
Inpatient- Outpatient.
Put on meds,
Put on more meds.
and nothing seems to work.
I keep telling myself that i will eventually grow out of it.
But will I?
Once i’m dead, maybe.
I’ve been thinking […]

So I’m so fckin depressed, I want to kill myself! Why would god put me through this, I know I’m triping but still I pray & pray!! Yet no one helps fck friends! They can die slow! Why why… Fck everything in this world! It can burn in hell!! I’m tired of family. Why the fck with god put me with them… I guess the devil might help me.. I hate so fckin much! I just want to leave this ***** and never come back. So fckin depressed and sucidal, I’m lost and confused, I’m probably gonna fck my life up, but it is what […]

I’m just getting weaker and weaker every day. This world brings me so much pain that even looking outside the window tears me apart. I feel hopeless, like I’m trapped in some medieval torture device and can’t escape. I’m afraid of life and death, both options just scare me so much it’s hard to breathe.

Life? Decades of suffering, loneliness, working a job that I will hate (if I even will get any job at all), growing old alone, dying alone and sick… all the moments that I will cry, wish for death… I can’t imagine actually living, outside, working, talking to people. It all seems […]

please, please, please I really need it right now.

i don’t know how i’ll go on without it

I’m a mess

I hate everything about myself

I feel so uncomfortable in my appearance

i just get so depressed

I don’t belong

I used to be completely straight-edge, but now drugs look soappealing and I fear I’ll give in.

I’m worried about myself

Now what

I’ve been beaten

I’ve been bruised

I’m a miscreation

Over these things, I have mused

I turned to negative outlets

Popping pills and getting high

Addicted the red rush of cuts

I became so different. Why?

I’m trapped in this world of shadow and energy-sluts

No one to love but I

I’m all alone

Who cares if I die?

I’m out here on my own

I don’t matter to many

Very few, actually

That, if any

But I can cope

I will hold my head up high

Claw my way up this downward slope

And you may be curious as to why

It’s because I am perfectly flawed

Perfectly imperfect, beautifully impure

My uniqueness has been outlawed

But I’ll get through it, I’m sure

I am very clinical in my descriptions as well. Helps me feel in control of myself even if I’m not… Keeps me thinking and not feeling… I always get belittled for being sensitive… I think this is a way to be different… subconsciously.