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Is it a nice, warm fuzzy feeling? Â Or an annoyance?
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It’s warm out this evening. There’s a slightly warm breeze that brings with it the smell of over-ripened peppers from the field across the street. As I’m sitting on the top stair in the entryway to our house, I realize that it’s the last evening of August. As expected, I become melancholy that Summer is coming to a close. Suddenly I feel a surge of panic. How did the days pass me by so quickly? What did I do? I can’t remember doing much of anything. Another Summer gone by; wasted away. I stand up and walk to the end of our driveway, looking towards […]
I’m not really sure how these things are usually written and shared with others, and by that I mean how one starts off by sharing one’s problems with strangers. Hell, I am not even sure if this is even going to help at all… I suppose letting it out is better then keeping it in, which I tend to do a lot.
It’s 2:04 am and I am starting to get pretty drowsy and tired now ( took three benadryl to knock myself to sleep, which I lately do every night), so forgive me if I commit writing mistakes or whatever…
I have been struggling with […]
I’ve made a terrible mistake staying up this late. I’ve no distractions to keep my mind from wandering. It keeps going back to some words that were never ever meant to be viewed as bad. ‘I’ve just had no motivation to get on here, I’ve no one to talk to.’ Aren’t I someone?? don’t i matter at all?? i thought we helped each other, that we promised that if anything went wrong that was too much to handle ourselves, we would reach out to each other for that help we need. Am i not enough? is it because we’re thousands of miles away? Is it […]
I BREATH ..
I CRY ..
I LOSE MYSELF FOR A SECOUND ..
I HURT MYSELF ..
I GET SOMETHING SHARP ..
I STOP …
I THINK …
AND I WRITE ..
I STOPE TO THINK & I REMEMBER ‘ OTHER PEOPLE HAVE IT WORST ‘ SO I SHOULDINT LEAVE THIS WORLD WITHOUT KNOWING THAT AM NOT ALONE </3
hi..I…I don’t know how to write this without dying inside. I’m a complete ass. and I hate myself..a lot. no one seems to like me anymore and it’s getting harder and harder to deal with. I feel like i can’t go on anymore. I’ve been cutting myself since i was 11 ish and i just..i can’t take it anymore. i’ve tried killing myself so many times but im a baby. im too scared. i wanna just be able to do it, cuz i wan’t to end it so badly. i just, i need to leave. i wan’t to be gone forever. forever in a deep […]
Once upon a time, there was a girl.
When she was a little girl, nobody could wipe that smile off her face. She was happy. Then she grew up.
At 12 years old, her father was dying and had a heart attack. He was in the hospital for 2 months and she didn’t understand. That year, Her best friend (Amanda) committed suicide because of her parents’ divorce. She blamed herself and thought that they were separated because of her so if she killed herself, they’d get back together and everything would be amazing again. They can’t even look each other in the eye without bawling their eyes […]
today was the ending of my relationship .. 2years & 4months ended in 2secounds .. i broke up with him thinking he didint love me anymore that he never did ‘ i cried and i cried .. my ” bestfriend ” griselda said i was retarded for leting him go .. insead of cheering me up she put me down :'( i started thinking i waz stupid for leting go the lve of my lie .. so i asked hes bestfriend if he seemed sad the day i left him ? hes bestfriend said that he wasint ‘ that he waz happy tht he said […]
ahhhhhh, i got my phone back which mean i got my bf to treat me nicely…except apparently “im too good” to be the way i am…(bf’s words) he HATES depression..whatever but hes nicer(: then met a new friend at school…and my family drama is dying down YES! finally EVERYTHING IS FALLING INTO PLACE…maybe i can finally be happy…ehh maybe happier but not completely
I’ve threatened suicide so many times, it’s ridiculous. I have not made a single valid attempt, however. But this time it’s going to be different.
My boyfriend no longer trusts me when I am sad, so I haven’t told him ANYTHING this time around. My mother thinks I’m totally fine, and so does the rest of my family. I’ve been careful in deleting all of my history in my phone, kindle fire, and laptop. No one knows that I’ve again been researching suicide and death in general. I WILL succeed this time.
Before you all go bitching at me how I’m “making a selfish decision” or that […]
i am lost i hate my life i want to die i want to die… i still love my ex or bf or what ever he is.. but only problem he doesn’t love me back he did at one time he said he would never let me go he said he loved me he said he was sorry for leaving me…. i started cutting again it numbs the pain i find it starting to work again i want to try to kill myself again nothing in my life seems to be going right at all the only pills i have access to are my antidepressants, […]
I guess this emotion is out of worry, concern, sadness, and anger? not sure but that’s a guess
by StarDust3811
written by StarDust3811
My sister’s boyfriend recently committed suicide. She was with him practically everyday. I got to know him through her. He was positive. Even in the midst of crazy shit, he was generally and genuinely positive. He didn’t normally let life get him down. Now, he has passed. Didn’t see it coming, do not think many people did. I’m currently grieving, I guess? My sister is about to start college. She was doing pretty good the two weeks before this happened. She has been clean for a little bit. She relapsed on drugs prior but she’s been getting her “shit” together and a bit more […]
No has tenido esa sensación en la que… Bueno ni siquiera es una sensación… Ni siquiera sabes si lo sientes, si existe… Ahhh todo un embrollo en tu cabeza, esperas despertar, esperas que todo sea un sueño o pesadilla, esperas que si todo es cierto haya una realidad alterna a la cual transportarte, simplemente esperas. Y cuando te cansas de esperar haces cosas “indebidas”, pero no sabes como manejarte, como manejarlo, como hacer cosas diferentes. Sigue siendo una lucha constante con tu propio ser, con tu propio pensamiento, y no tienes a nadie, que por lo menos te diga estás loco. Asà es, siempre ha […]
Life sucks. I’m in high school, I’m fat, have acne, a huge nose, and I’m ugly. On top of that I’m shy and quiet-I don’t really like talking that much and people always take that as me being rude. Even my dad is embarrassed and says that I need to get out of my shell. I hate myself. I don’t talk much, I’m not creative, and I don’t socialize well with people. I stutter when I talk, I can’t think straight around guys, and I can’t even talk to guys normally (I’m a girl). I’m smart, and have accomplished a lot of things but I […]
Today is one of my down days. A down day is a day I give myself when I’m so tired and full of energy at the same time. I’m sad but can’t express. Happy but can’t express. It’s a day I force myself into the depths to force myself to release this sewer ride i’m trapped in.
THe love/sex music blasting in my ear because it saddens me, the steely gaze as I type on this screen. The pencil and paper I have to draw. Regardless of this down time my thoughts are always the same at the end of the day. Express myself to […]
shes lying i know she is. shes so pathetic. i fucking cant stand it much longer..
So… I’ve been thinking about this for a while. And I really wouldn’t care if I died. Even if it was slow and painfull. Please tell me if this ishealthy. Because I just don’t care about life or death. Â it’s all the same.
don’t care about painless, etc.
I’ll pay the price for killing myself.
Now – I’m getting my affairs in order and just hope there are no hangups with disposal of me (body) and or belongings.
I want the hopelessness and the farce over-
can’t put on “a face” any longer.
i did more drinking today with my friends i did half a shot because i was meeting up with my mom shortly and needed to be sane… about an hour ago they wanted me to come back and i said no, not because i was not in the mood trust me i did want to go back and get wasted sure but i did not have a solid plan on coming home or staying out late or what!! my ex or bf or what ever he is kissed me again and hugged me he said he was sorry for leaving me… he has been hitting […]
I wish i could show what i really am feeling ,unstead of a fake smile always on my face..
I wish i had the nerve to go up to him all these years to tell him that i liked him..
I wish i could help the family ..and stop being the one who is always the odd one out..
I wish i could pass this year..but work keeps pileing up..
I wish we could get a place and not live in this shelter..
I wish that a guy would like me my age unstead of 5 years younger then me and a show off with […]