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He threw the trash can at her… I want him GONE. I was right there trying to shrink into the couch… I thought for sure he was gonna turn to me and try to strangle me…
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maybe, i think i finally had a good day. yes i had things push me down but for once i took my mind off the negatives and soaked up some sun and had fun today. yeah finally a good day XD
Written about a year ago, I think.
Yes, I suck quite profusely at social interaction. I am a prodigy at making a fool out of myself by saying or doing stupid things. Of course, only when it comes to personal conversations; I can work, I can manage departments, I can go shopping, I might even be able to go to the doctor’s office. Yet, if you ask me how my day went, that’s when the anxiety starts. I might answer, “Okay, I guess. How was yours?” and slowly, but surely, as the conversation progresses, I will get more and more anxious until I wind up fleeing […]
Spent my Saturday night curled up in the foetal position, on a couch in the spare room, interrupted by the occasional self-inflicted punch in the head when it got too much. Sleep was elusive. What little sleep I did find was peppered with dreams, such as the one where a train was stopped at a railroad crossing and I decided to sit under the train and wait for it to move. Then, there was the one where I was back at school, only the HR Manager at my work was the Deputy Principal, and she said she was really worried about me. I had to […]
Hey guys, sorry I haven’t posted. I only have the laptop during the week I’ll post tomorrow. If you need me my email is jacobj234@Gmail.com and my cell is 850-632-0697
i’m 15 and my life is hell, I need to escape and i fear that death is the only way, i need help or i might do harm to the people around me i don’t want that to happen, all i want is to be free of this anger  and misery or i will die and might take a few people with me. i have thought about taking my life before when i was 10 and my life got worse since then, i need to be free and i have a few ideas on how to kill myself, ODing on pills, slitting my wrists or throat, juming in front […]
Slipping back down, still keeping my head above water, like I am out tredding water in the ocean. Today I had a thought that scared me so much I can’t even put it here, but it was enough to make we want to go check myself in and stay for awhile. I didn’t though and the thought went away hopefully never to return.
I need everyone who is feeling bad, terrible, down, lonely, worthless, hopeless, unimportant, to take one minute from your life and think.
Think how beautiful the world is, because of your excistence. Think how much you’ve helped the others who were feeling bad, by posting your own stories. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! All of us here are just like one family. The same things, the same problems, the same stories.
Just think one minute; if not for God, you wouldn’t be here right now, reading this.
You’re God’s creature, He looks at you, and loves you even though you’re not perfect. I am not perfect. […]
I’m SORRY! sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry…. God I’m sick of being the problm. Always fighting just because I exsist… Fighting over me… I’m sorry… I always cause fights between my mom and stepdad just by exsisting! I wish they could be happy together again, but that can’t happen as long as I’m alive. It hurts. They were screaming and cussing and I couldn’t take it. It hurt… It’s all my fault. I HATE him…
It’s ironic… And sad, really.
Some people are so positive and full of hope, but unfortunately they have to face death so soon (be it from illness, accidents, etc.)
Some people pray to have their life ended because they lost all hope in life, but yet they have many, many, MANY healthy years ahead of them.
It’ll be nice if we could trade places…
I tried this time I really did, but it seems no matter how hard I try I can’t be happy and slip back into depression harder than before. I hide behind a fake smile, I always have, but now I can’t even be bothered to put that mask on anymore. I genuinely tried to change my life and be happy but it hasn’t worked, just like the previous times I’ve tried. Therapy has never worked, pills have never worked and trying to be proactive has never worked. Maybe I’m just broke, but the problem is there doesn’t seem to be a fix. I tried to […]
Does anyone else suffer from this sometimes?
You can be in the best mood ever, then you just snap and nothing can calm you down?
After a whole day of being angry and annoyed at everyone, I feel exhausted and can’t stop crying. Â Sometimes it can be because of the stupidest things.
Not having control over my life pisses me off. But i can’t help this aggression, it overwhelms me and i can’t stop myself.
Please just give me a Chan Marchall eulogy
If I was ever anything at all, it’s all breaking news to me
Breaking down in a rage, just to apologise
It’s really so strange watching all these strangers sigh
It feels like I’m living through my last days every day
On your strongest of days, you couldn’t make me feel any less insane.
Wish the ongoing theme about me, wasn’t “He’s just crazy”
Wish I knew safety
Wish nothing phased me
Wish I felt more than just feelings of unrest
Wish the darkness didn’t cloud me
Wish I wasn’t an emotional wreck
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I don’t think I’ll be able to relate to any song more than […]
No one really cares
“how are you?” I get this pang of sadness.
“Well I’m fine” I wonder why I woke up this morning. I wonder why I bother with any of it.
“Whats on your mind?“ how painful it would be to hang myself.
“Just thinking” I wish I would stop dong that.
“about what?“ Suicide
“nothing much” Why do I feel so depressed?
“how come you don’t want to talk?”cause all I can think of is why I’m not dead yet. Not much of a conversation, huh?
*silence*
“Fine. I’ll leave you alone” yes, please do.
“okay” Another moment and i’d start […]
I want to rid myself of all my pain. Just thinking about tomorrow honestly makes me sick to my stomach. It’s the most disgusting  thing I’ve ever felt in my life, and sometimes I can’t help but think about it at night and cry, because I keep feeling it over and over again. I lie there staring into nothing, my mind wondering off into tomorrow, and I feel sick.
I don’t have my friends anymore, and as cold as it sounds, they were nothing more than distractions, anyway. People that kept my mind occupied with something other than my own misery.  Yet, I still yearn for that false reality, that […]
Its been a long time. Â I thought i was getting better, but i was dead wrong. Problems i thought had disappeared had only gone into remission. Major Depressive Disorder, Self Injury, Eating Disorders, all the problems i have, all hitting me at once again. Fuck.
For so long I’ve wanted to finally do it.. end it all. But I’ve always been afraid to do so. Always had that restrain from finally cutting the vein..
What does it mean now that I’m no longer afraid..? I’ve seen it all… I’ve seen friends die, I’ve seen children and wives being beaten by their fathers.. I’ve been so myself. I’ve seen drugs tear apart even the wisest of men. At this point in death there is no way it can be any worse than where I am now.. This might actually be a legitimate goodbye.
Thank you all
I swear I am the most self centered insane fat freak alive. Every moment if every day I feel like I’m annoying people.
I don’t know.
I find myself every day saying this. I repeat this word alot. I’ve been living with the spectre of suicide since I was 8, I’ve hated life since then.  I saw my grandfather lying in the casket, and everyone was crying, I didn’t understand until I went over and told grandpa to wake up… he didn’t wake up.
Grandpa was just sitting there, not moving. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t getting up. I kept hoping he would get up, thinking that he was just asleep, but he was too still. In my little mind, I knew he was too still. I learned about […]