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oh im so tired, really tired emotionally and physically and mentally, the urge to cut is getting stronger, whats one more scar right? errghh well i have to go out today, maby its good, i might get some distraction but if i dont mann im going to feel worse when i come back.anyhows hopefully you guys have something resembling a good day 🙂
When i first decided to stop drinking and eating entirely I made the decision to die, at the time that I began my painful journey I had already felt no need to eat anything at all, the thought of a big juicy hamburger nauseated me. With many of those seeking a chance to escape, I plea with you to decide between Irrational Suicide and Compassionate death, I know that it may sound ridiculous to for whatever reason to willingly kill yourself, period. Many people who take this path are those who are already dying and have wanted to shorten their suffering, this is the difference […]
Why are we all here on this site ?
It’s the problem of pain, we want to destroy !
Where the pain come from ?
From non-acceptance !
Of people that reject.
And the main role in play, it is we, who won’t even accept ourself.
And worse way round, we even want to change others, but sure to fail !
We hate this, we hate that.
And it’s so common to be told, just change this or that, we’ll be alright.
But easier said than done, to change ?
We are already where we are, and that’s it, all that we humbly (or proudly) need is to first […]
Somebody just talk to me…ive lost it all
I am here just to tell anyone and everyone that suicide is not worth it. I am a victim to depression and I once considered committing suicide. With tears in my eyes and a knife in my hand, I thought to myself. Is this really the only way to be happy, is life really all about misery and sorrow? I put the knife down. I confesed to my mom and she said we could give therapy a try. At first I was very sceptic because I did not like the idea of telling a random stranger all my secrets. But after a while, my depression […]
That feeling of just finally being fed up with being torn down and run over by anyone and practically everyone. That feeling of no longer being able to hold on any longer because you have no energy left; but even if you did you just don’t want to put up with it any more.
Why hold onto a life that you’re so miserable in? I know it’s selfish to take my own life because it effects those who cared about me and everyone that has ever come into some sort of contact with me. But c’mon, it’s also selfish on the part of those who try and talk […]
Its happening again. can someone help me. I feel that peak, that moment approaching again. but this time the decision has already been made. I wont be brought to that point again and not go through with it. I will ignore any signals this time because those signals will be like the ones from b4- a fake illusions to buy time for right now. Im very sad…very dark…i dont want nothing but a solution as to how to do this quietly and quickly. I want to plan it properly. Start a fight or some reason for me to be gone for a few days, I […]
Being in a long term relationship and lonely.
My chest feels like it is about to fucking explode. I feel like I am about to completely break down. Oh God, all I want is for this to stop! I am so tired of this FUCKING CYCLE: I just want this to stop…. why does being alone have to hurt so much.
I want to cut. No. I need to cut. It has been 84 days since that blade tasted skin. Who was I to think that I could ever overcome depression, huh? Who was I to think that I could ever stop cutting permanently, hmm? Let’s face it the blade has always been there […]
I never thought I’d ever contemplate  ending it all.  Even when I had to deal with tough times before, I knew things would get better.
Now, I finally understand why people feel this way. This time, my problems are so unbelievably  bad that I just don’t see a way out of this. None of my options are good. No matter what I do, my life is already  too fucked up.
I can’t go back, I am dying in my current situation, and it’s the only two choicesi have. Because of love, I gave up everything I had and was, and now I’m stuck in a country I […]
I look at myself and all I see is failure. I’m so disgusted by myself I am sick to my stomach. I would like to think that if even one person showed me kindness and compassion than maybe there’s something to live for. Maybe I’m not destined to be alone and severely depressed for the rest of my life. God, I am such a pathetic excuse for a human being. I’m so fucking worthless. Who am I kidding huh? Did I honestly ever think that anybody could ever really truly love me? No.
Is a friend just to much to ask for? Or maybe I just […]
I read Splinter’s post http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/lets-face-it-were-all-evil-in-some-way/ which was brought to the fore and I cannot stop reading it over and over and over. And this person is gone after really fighting. After really doing the unimaginable. I sit here sad for various known reasons and the urge to do something is sitting there. But what in the hell am I supposed to do? I thought about writing a small thing about why people commit suicide. It would involve as much of the truth as I know. But i realize I get burnt out easily. If i start writing can I continue and finish? Would eyes […]
Hi my name Is Emily and I’m 15 years old. I was diagnosed with depression about 7 months ago. My life hasn’t been the same since. I was dealing with my sexuality, paranoia, anxiety, OCD, school,anger problems and cutting. This all led to my horrible depression. I was hospitalized around Christmas time because of a strangling attempt. I spent Christmas and New Years Eve in the hospital where I stayed for 18 days. Afterwards I started going to an outpatient day program for kids and teenagers with emotional problem called the CDU which stood for Children’s Day Unit. There i met many good friends especially one. Her […]
here i am at the fucking crossroads again…FUCK!!!!! I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Depression has wrapped its arms around me, i am so fucking tired of this battle, day after day after fucking day. Yea take MORE meds! yea THAT IS THE FUCKING ANSWER!!!!!!!!!!!! take ALL of them!
Does anybody else have nightmares that make them afraid to sleep? Like when you should be able to get away from lifeyour dreams make it impossible? I wake up with scratches on my arms they are so bad… How do I get them to go away? Its hard enough trying to stay alive when im awake I dont need nightmares of me killing myself to add on top of everything….
Its been almost 2 months since my dad agreed to stay out of our lives. Ive hated every minute of it, Ive sent him messages, texts, basically anything to get him to contact. After our last arguement a few weeks ago, he said fine..I mean he didnt even fight to see me..He spent ten years away, in prison. Now its been almost 3 years since hes been out..Ive only seen him almost 2 years out of that. My mom keeps saying instead of being so rude to him, which I will admit im doing now because he wont respond at all, try asking if he`ll […]
i know its time to check out of the world, but i found out whats holding me back. people, actual people who i know truly care, i dont want to let them go i wanna hold onto them neverlet them go cuz for me its rare to find someone who loves me for me and befriends me to have fun in each others company not to trick me into hurting me along the road. i never wanna see these friends to leave me and i dont leave them. i know this is when im supposed to die. i just took half a bottle of […]
My “What if?” turned into “Should I?”. Then that “Should I?” turned into “When should I?”. Soon after that, “When should I?” turned into “How should I?”. It all starts with one thought. That one thought drew in so much pain. When suicide becomes an option, it’s suddenly the only thing we see. It narrows our thoughts to only suicide.
Then your feelings start to become dangerous. But you don’t want anyone to know, right? So you lie. You lie about your feelings. You lie behind your smile. You lie to yourself. All we want is to be happy. Sometimes we can’t remember the last time […]
I just want to runaway. Honestly, that’s my only hope for staying alive right now; but I don’t have the means. If I had somewhere to go, I would… and I would do anything, ANYTHING for the opportunity… but once again I am stuck… lost and hopeless… if I could runaway, I could live; but because I can’t, I might be gone soon..
If he lives I hope you all die painful, torturous deaths. If he doesn’t make it, I hope you live extremely long lives. And I hope that everyone you ever love is taken from you. If he dies I hope your lives are hell. I want you to wish that you could have been afforded the courtesy of being beaten to death. I hope someone bashes your fucking kneecaps in. I want you to wish you were dead. I hope you fucking rot. You deserve less than nothing.
Getting drunk or wanting money is not an excuse. You’re fucking pigs. Worthless pieces of shit. You don’t […]
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