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Poem I wrote (but I do have anorexia)
It makes us lie. People die.
Anorexia is it’s name.
No food today.
I wonder what I weigh.
Fat is all I can see….
Why can’t my family leave me be.
I’m disgusting, revolting…
I carved the word ‘fat’ into my skin.
I’m screaming but no one is listening.
‘Save me’ I scream…
Please let this just be a bad dream…
Anorexia has consumed me, PLEASE
just realize this isn’t me and see.
things are so messed up.. when you post something to try and help people and only get negative comments and then you just want to take it down.. so you do..
things are so messed up.. when you meet someone and they lead you on and they flirt and they say they only want to be with you.. then they tell you they have a girlfriend and wont talk to you again..
things are so messed up.. when your only way of coping is through cutting and pain.
i fake a smile every single day, and the moment where it slips, and  im questioned, i panic and say […]
Shhh theres fucktards nearby. Listen to them. They depress me too. I’m a fucking troll. Fuck you. I’m bored. Im depressed im tired im restless im angry im pissex im horny im a virgin. Fuck it I’m anything and everything but you.Â
Theres my fucking poem. Im tired, my mouth hurts i dont want to mas-ter-ba-te at all today. I meed a shower i dont care about spelling rght now. Fuck you. I’m so bored. I might have multi person disorder bipolar depressed horny virgin shitty tired insomnia cant distinguish reality form memory nor dreams. My cousin jasmine whom i love so dearly broke up with […]
9:20A.M:
I have summer school. Haven’t been able to get into a habit of sleeping earlier so I’ve been tired. Drank a monster today, but still tired but also wide-awake. I’m the fastest in my class of World History. I finish my work earliest due to my full year of review in my sophomore year that I failed. I sit alone at our 20 minute breaks.Â
They (campus supervisors) try to corner us onto the quad and I get anxious. There’s a lot of fucking kids from 4 highschools being crammed together.Â
I’m attempting to keep my mind blank from those thoughts about it. My memories are […]
honestly, i feel so worthless- like no one even cares. i have people that say they care, but do they sincerely mean it? no. i know it’s a huge lie. if i no longer decided to live, i bet no one would care. no one would cry. why? because i’m worthless and ugly. don’t call me beautiful, because that’s something i’ll never be & i’ve lived with that fact. i feel like such a waste of space…why do i even eat? drink? sleep? i don’t deserve to do any of those….
Fuck everyone. Just…. I won’t sleep tonight I can’t cut I am ready to hang everyone in my family and burn them. I give up I give up I give up. No one here gives a shit and I don’t fucking care about you either. And to Everlasting, I’m guessing you’re really gone. Thanks for leaving me. Thanks for that favor! I’m gonna pass it on and lead hurt people to trust me and then just fuck with thir hearts! I can say I learned from the best-so many ppl who taught me that. See how many already suicidal hearts I can crush. Seems ppl […]
I am in my late 20s, in a lesbian relationship, and diagnosed borderline personality disorder and have depression. I’ve been going to therapy for a few months and have been taking my meds as prescribed.
I have a degree in psychology and a Masters degree in forensic psychology. I enjoy running, surfing, basketball, snowboarding, and wakeboarding. I love my family.
My mother is understanding and supportive, as are my younger siblings. I also have some support from a few good friends.
However, my relationship is a chaotic rollercoaster and I can’t bare it anymore. The anger and pain have disolved my strength to keep going.
At […]
Someone help me I don’t know what to do. I’m bullied at school. I’ve been cutting for over a year now. My boyfriend is 2 years older then me and my parents don’t like him. When I was 4 I was raped. My friends try to help but a fake smile and ‘I’m fine’ works just fine to get them away. I’ve tried suicide twice now and failed both times. I’m going to a counselor. But that just makes everything worse. I need someone to talk to who understands
Tonight I sat in the mirror and told myself how worthless I was how nobody has never and will never love me, Something inside said to end it, I had a bottle or alcohol and a bottle of pills i picked them both up popped a pill in my mouth and thought for a second why do I have to feel like this why do I have to want to take my own life ? Because nobody understands ? Because the nights are sleepless ? because im alone ! Nobody cares i kept saying nobody ever dd just end it ***** , your […]
I don’t particularly like this. Idk. It’s a little weird for me. It’s meant to be more of a story then a poem. I think it’s a bit shallow and self-involved. Tell me what you think.
Once upon a time there was a girl
There were many girls, but this girl had a head full of words
There were many words, but these words were full of her sadness
This girl was full of sad stories made of sad words
Once upon a time she was strong
She was full of strength, because she was strong to fight the pain
She was full of pain, a pain […]
(Wrote this awhile ago)
Darkness
All I see is darkness
not a peak of light
I linger in the shadows
and scour away in fright
I feel a change within me
as red eyes look down and stare
the choices I have made
to get this disapproving glare
I know I’ve made mistakes
and I hold my own regret
but life will still go on
so forgive and just forget
But yet I’m smothered in this darkness
it’s suffocating me
it’s shielding my eyes
when I try to see
I step my one foot foward
not knowing where it rests
it’s hard to see the light when
I’m surrounded by this […]
You could be empty
And I can be right here empty with you
And you could be
hollow
And I can be right here hollow with you
If you wanna say goodbye
to everything
I could say goodbye, too
And I could be right here empty
with you
I haven’t wasted a thing except my time
Forget the treasures we’ve burned because we’ll be just fine
I try to take off my head sometimes because I can’t escape the memories
I haven’t lost anything except my mind
Dear Anthony…you’ve taken my soul and my will to live.
I will get you back. I was sweet, caring, loving. […]
Thursday morning… This existence is painful, I cant take it anymore. I have no friends all of them have betrayed me, or fucked me over. My family offers no support with anything that I’ve ever done. Every girl I’ve ever met has used me, cheated on me, then got their new boyfriends to bash me. I was abused as a child by step father, and abandoned my real father. Every choice I’ve ever made has been wrong in someones eyes. My best friend overdosed on ice, and has been in a psych ward for the past 3 years, he doesn’t even know who I am. […]
I am the girl who is always seen when doing nothing.I am the girl who all the rumours are about.
I am the girl who never smiles, laughs but always friendly.
I am the girl who will help the world but can’t help herself.
I am the girl who can see the beauty in every one but herself.
Who I am should not be the question but who I want to be.
The answer is happy with me and able to help me.
Not to be self-centered do not get me wrong, just able to self-love.
I miss the people who know me. Now I know how it feels to finally see the people I badly wanted to be with because they knew me and then realize that I left behind the ones who really know me for these people who will never understand me or even care to try to learn who I am. It hurts. I thought this is what I wanted but these aren’t the people I grew up with…
I’m home… Fuck it I have no home. I thought I wanted this but I’m still fucking miserable. Guess I’ll never be really happy again. I feel more trapped […]
They are terrible. My grandma is fucking crazy and she screams at me and chases me around. I live with my grandparents. My grandpa has no heart for the emotion of another human being. They used to beat their kids. My mom hit me really hard yesterday because of something stupid. I’m gifted but they tell me I’m not. They don’t encourage me or any of my talents or anything I do. They constantly blame me for things and make me feel like shit. I have no confidence. I don’t go out. I don’t do anything. I research and self-educate myself a lot but they […]
This is gonna be the strangest of post for me so far…I’d just like to share this completely for once.This is the one thing I haven’t told anybody since the time it was created when I was 10.No one ever knew this,not even my family.Strange that I’m putting it here to complete strangers on a suicide forum.
I think this is in a way how my last sliver of hope takes form.For as far as I can remember,this world was boring,colorless and full of unfair things.I was quick to escape in my own little dream-land.I was a lone little dreamer since kindergarden,always drawing by myself.No one […]
I can’t actually remember how it started. I’m not sure if I can even call it depression. Most of my life I have been surrounded by control. I have been from place to place. My parents had me at 14 so things were crazy growing. I barely ever saw them. Now I live with my father because I have a mother who is going through problems I don’t like to talk about.
I let myself be controlled, and even if i want to, I cant stand up for myself. I’m 17, and in school I just some weird lesbian (I’m not lesbian but people […]
Trying hard to keep going but dont think I can last any longer. I dont know what else to do Im so useless and selfish for wanting to kill myself. Honestly If it was easier thing to do like if I had a suicide button id deffinatlry be gone right now
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