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Im done living this lie im going to tell everyone how the f__k how i feel and let them know that tomorrow is my last day on this earth
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I was picked up out of my home and thrown into a mental hospital on 12/30/2011 for a week so it really thwarted my plans of ctb before the new year. I left the hospital with a false sense of optimism, and now I’m sitting in my apartment on suicide websites again…..feeling like my soul is dead and I’m just going through the motions because that’s what I was told to do. Truth be told, I have no idea what the next day or weeks ahead of me hold….I know today was a shitty day, not sure when the glimmer of sunshine will show through […]
I met a guy a year ago and I’ve had a crush on him ever since I saw him. we’ve always been friends and I know he’s been thro a lot and he knows I have too. I’m like best friends with his sister and I went to hang out with her and we went to a party with her bro there. he got drunk and I got drunk and we ended up hooking up. a week later I started to really like him… then over Christmas break we hooked up again.. and I still like him more then before. I’m scared to love him […]
i hate this feeling this i hate when i feel weak i hate when they dont care but thats life and my life is a ***** so fuck it
i am married 33yrs old and i have lovely children, i have a deep depression and i was also attacked in may, my husband blames me, i cant trust him as it was his brother who attacked me, for the first time ever i actually ended up in the mental unit 4 time in the last few months, life is unbearable, my husband is a liar protecting his brother, i took over doses and survived and i tried hangin my self but was brought round  unconsious by my husband, i cry every day i have lost all trust and hope , what can i do? […]
Someone out there, please help me.
Convince me that it’s a bad idea to commit suicide.
Convince me that the grass is greener over that muddy hill.
Convince me that if IÂ go along with my plan to kill myself today that the world would crumble at your feet. :'(
Tell me it’s ok.
Tell me it’s alright…
Tell me I’m better than this… and convince me that this knife up against my neck is only here to make things worse.
Please… Help.
Here i am, 2 and a half months after i fell back into a deep depression. I am young, tired and now ready to pass on to the certain nothingness. I am to talk with the love of my life in a few hours. The very last time I believe I will hear her pulchritudinous voice… I am a young male with OCD, It had lead to a deep depression several years prior. How you may ask, one word, certainty. I am absolutely absessed with certainty, while nothing in life is certain except death. I can only feel comfort when i am certain, my 2 year relationship […]
If there is some positive takeaway I can give to others before I go it is this:
There is far, far too much hurt in this world. Averting your eyes, looking away, looking down, trying to ignore another human being in pain is weak. Being jaded, cold, unfeeling or taking a hard line with someone who is in pain is cowardice.
Every single day, we are confronted with people suffering whether it be sorrow from a break-up or death of a loved one or being in a place where you go hungry and are cold at night, it’s everywhere. This world, life, it’s a ************. It isn’t […]
About three months ago, my girlfriend and I broke up and I miss her so much. I miss the times we had together and the dreams that we shared for our future. Now it’s all gone. I don’t want to go on anymore. I’m putting some of my affairs in order today, writing a letter, and going to do it. A lot of alcohol, some sleeping pills and Xanax, and finally, a plastic bag over my head before I pass out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rVFse1LLQs&feature=related
My favorit scene from the movie. Lucifer and John.
😉
I am not a child anymore but you still look at me like one because of my actions that you assume is childish and immature. However, I strongly believe that my actions are rational with deep reasoning that you cannot see or try to understand. All you did in your life was stuff your own logic into me that chocked me and suffocated me to the point that I no longer want to reason with you.
My dear parents, I thank you for giving birth to me and for letting me see this wonderful world which I love but also hate to the extreme. However because […]
Today I woke up feeling great. I have been getting accupuncture and it finally started working. I was date raped 6 months ago and contraced genital warts as a result. It finally cleared up. Felt so good, went dancing with friends. I was completely sober, just dancing and having fun. This guy tries to dance wih us and we move away. All night he keeps bugging us, we ignore him the tell him to leave us alone. He goes and gets his friends. They surround us and contined to harass us. The guy gets in my face. I tell him to leave us alone. […]
4 years ago, I tried to kill myself… the biggest regret in my life is that I failed. Today, my best friends mom called me to tell me that he no longer wants to be my friend. 22 years old and he can’t even tell me that himself??? I have stupid small medical problems, one after another, constantly holding me back from completely being healthy. Nothing major like cancer or anything, but still big enough to keep me down. And now this… my closest friend decides to drop me, and actually blocked my phone number so I couldn’t even ask him why. Why do I […]
Well I got expelled this school year. I been getting and trouble this school year ! I only got suspended 6 times this school year. I Got put out after the six time because I was about to fight this boy. He push my cousin and he was talking bad to me so I snaped and went off. Well the principle decide to expelled me. So when he expelled me I went crazy by punching the wall , crying , screaming , I the hit principle , threw my school I.D at my the principle too , Broke the shelf , threw a pencil at […]
I hate you for not caring.
I hate you for telling me i’m selfish.
I hate you for saying i’m stupid.
I hate you for not noticing the signs.
Most of all, I hate you for talking about my future as if you’ve seen it. I may not even be here, but you still plan.
Act as if your blind, it’ll just turn out bad in the end for you.
Well I’m not sure how much more I can take. The feelings of everyone person hating me for anything is hurting so bad that it feels like I can’t even breathe. The verbal abuse at home and at work is just to much. I know that sounds stupid but it’s constant all day every day. The one person I thought would always be there for me is starting to think I want to stay and live with it. But that’s not true I just don’t have anywhere to go and to think about trying to live with her would be to much on her. When […]
There are words, tons of words that don’t make sense
There are voices, notes and music in silence
There are memories, lost and cherished, forgotten and found
There are sounds, so many sounds
There are colors, shades and tones in darkness
There is hunger, biting and knawing, completely obsessed
There are scratches and beautiful art between the lines
There are scars in my mind
There are songs on an ordinary day
There is darkness, bitter jealousy bleeding in gray
There are tangled knots in the blue skies
There are scattered pieces in my mind
In my mind
Flowers bloom and never fade or die
In my mind
It […]
It was my job to keep my phone by my side…my best friend AKA my brother made it clear that he would call ME, if anyone, if he contemplated suicide. At 9;43PM May 8, 2010, I called him and left a message about the Mother’s Day celebration the following day. In a heavy sleep, I missed a phone call at 6AM from a restricted number. Come 8AM, there was a knock at my door. My girlfriend (I was in a gay relationship at the time) answered the door and came back to bed to inform me that my mother and aunt were there. First thought-SHIT, […]
I’ve been doing really well for the past month or so,Â
But when I really think about it, I still think I’d be happier dead. At times like these nothing is majorly wrong, I just don’t want to be here. I hate living here, I want to die so I can truly be happy and be free. Sometimes I google key words of how I’m feeling to find blogs or pages of people who feel the same. when I googled this time nothing came up, does anyome else ever feel like this?
but it’ll come back, it always does.