General

OK. I don’t REALLY hate it.  The part that I hate is when I spend days and days working on a hat and then I look at it and say “this is ugly” and pull it out.  Then I start re-knitting it in a new way. Inevitably, I hit a similar spot and then pull all my work out again.

People tell me that this is the fun of knitting. Personally, I like wearing a hat and having something to show for my work.  I don’t mind re-working stuff, but it’s a little ridiculous when you can spend an entire winter season working on stuff and […]

ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS i’m going through, and that makes me want to go “home”, is remorse.
i’m talking about deep, deep regret about things you’ve done and that caused you great harm. it can be the stupid way you’ve handled a relationship, it can be a job you quit or a job interview you screwed… my life is full of it. i feel like a pile of regret, i’m soaked in it and i alwyas mess up again and again. i never forgive myself – how can i stand my own pace of terrible mistakes.
i know, i’ve been thinking. i know […]

I have attempted suicide 3 times.  I’m now 27, the first time i was 14, the second time i was 21 and the last time was april last year.  I’m currently having suicidal thoughts but i will not give in to it.  sometime your worst enemy is yourself.  sometimes the information you recieve from your own brain is not correct.  When i was 14 i lived with two alcoholic and abusive parents – i wanted a way out.  I was not succesful but gradually life did improve – it was hard work and took forever.

Now i’m married and estranged from my parents.  I’m in therapy […]

Comeing Apart Amv

I’m almost 42 years old, and I’ve been fighting depression since I was eight. I’m so tired. My counselor is a kind, sweet person, but I think she’s done all she can. Medication does nothing for me. My family and friends don’t want to hear about my struggles, and judge my depression as a character flaw if I talk about it. I feel very lonely, isolated, and as if I don’t have a voice. Also, I’m a Christian; I’m active in my church and I pray regularly, but there is no relief. (And I really don’t want to hear that I’m not faithful enough…you’d lose […]

Hello everyone.

I have decided to use the helium method to end my life and save myself from this pain.  I have read Final Exit and have already purchased the supplies to make the exit bag.  Tomorrow morning I will be going to a local party store to purchase two helium tanks to complete the process. My only problem is that I am unsure of what type of tubing I need.

Is it something that I can purchase from a local pharmacy, such as nebulizor tubing?  Or can I locate it at a hardware store?  If someone could please tell me the type of tubing I am […]

Going on my fifth year of depression/suicidal tendencies. It’s fantastic…really. I was locked up in a behavior hospital for two weeks after trying to kill myself again about two months ago and its just gone downhill from there. Then I come on here to vent my frustrations as I did so many years ago and I see it has become a troll site for jesus freaks, social outcasts looking for others, and kids.
What the fuck happened?
Oh well. It was naive for me to think this wouldn’t be another thing that would disappoint me.

yeah, so, i’ve never really posted anything personal anywhere on the internet before, so this is pretty new to me.  i don’t really expect any “help” to come from it, and in all honesty i don’t even expect any responses.  i guess i just needed to get a few things out before i went through with it.  so… here goes…

at first glance, it probably wouldn’t seem like much was wrong with me, save the shyness and awkward personality.  i understand that i’m a little odd, but i’ve come across several people who are attracted to my uniqueness and creativity rather than put off by it.  […]

i feel like rambling so if you choose to read this consider it fair warning…

ive been wondering. how is it possible that we have opinions of our own if were only manifestations of our past memories and experiences? does that mean they are formes upon knowledge of other eoples thoughts, idead, and words? where does that leave room for our personalities, if we even have one of our own? are we unique only because each of us has had a different sequence of experiences? where do our ideas and actions come from but what we feel is expected of us and fathomed of us. […]

This feeling is strange. This mixture of despair and hopelessness.
It’s always been there, but something is different today.
I feel like I’m losing everything. Like I’m trapped. Like all my efforts are futile.
I always give up one addiction in exchange for another.
Cutting, burning, scratching, burning, anorexia, burning, oxycodone.
Now I’m addicted to food.
I’ve gained 20 pounds in the last year.
I sort of want to go back to burning myself again. No one would notice. Only one person knows I ever did. Screw her. She wouldn’t care if I went back to doing it, anyway.
I dunno. It’s strange. I want […]

There are a million ways I could say it
but you don’t listen to my voice.
So I will say it clearly and hope you will hear it.
Don’t do it.
Life is hard, it is ugly, it is colorful and loud.
But death is nothing.
It has no pain, nothing.
Just six feet under.
So don’t do it and relish in the colors of life.

This isn’t a suicide post, but I made it through the bad times…

I’d love to talk to anyone, and help them through their difficult time… Feel free to email me at: ankush7@hotmail.co.uk

would it be considered suicide to bungie jump with a chord that touches the ground on it’s own?

are you here?
don’t go away yet.
where are you from? how old are you? please tell me about yourself.

     This is the dream I ha last night. Spencer is the guy I’ve liked for almost two years now. but I have no hope with him whatsoever. im not sure why he’s in this dream and i cant say i really enjoyed this dream. i barely understand it. the only reason I’m posting this is for Hannah and “Sucks”. you guys helped a lot.

     The frigid air somhow got past my many layers of clothing and froze my skin. Turning my olive toned skin a little paler and pinker than it should have been. I breathed into my hands again and continued […]

i will leave it to the great ones to voice my dissatisfaction with the worthlessness of all combined human endeavor.

property is thefy

the product is a lie, its truth will horrify you

the society of the spectacle will trap with its omnipresence

if you do not understand i can not educate you, you where born to follow, your life and death mean nothing.

i kill myself because i am lonely surrounded by people used as tools, no person inside. these people are as legitimate as everyone else, in a managed plutocracy/”democracy” and they will rule your life.

Power is metered out to the biggest and best sociopaths among us to […]

Hello…this is my first post on this sight. Just sharing my thoughts to whoever wants to listen I guess. I’m a young teenager who lives with a guardian and her son. I lost my mom last year to pancreatic cancer. I havnt talked to my dad in seven months…most of his side of the family strongly dislikes me. I was born as a single child only to my mom, who was a single parent. She showed me love. And she was the most precious thing to me. And she is gone…nothing can bring her back. And my dad stepped all over her till the day […]