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Well, I knew it would happen again so here I am writing on this site I guess just doesn’t make me feel so alone about how I’m feeling..anyways why is it that we always want the one thing which we cannot have? I just can’t take the fucking hurt anymore..so here I am laying in my bed with my razor blade, seven fresh cuts on my wrists and my itouch listening to music that reminds me of the times when I was with her..fuck my life…
am here to talk
I hate myself. I try so hard not to but I do.
I really really really do. I hate my hair, skin, eyes, mouth, teeth, lips, nose, breast,body, everything.
It’s all just disgustingly hideous.
And, on top of that I’m a pathetic loser.
I have no friends and no life. My family feels the need to point this out to me daily.
My sisters constantly tell me how I’m a weirdo, a creep, and an ugly loser.
I tried to talk to my mom to feel better, but she got pissed off at me and told me to stop bothering her. She told me that the […]
i’m desperate, i’ll join with anyone my email is mvuono57@yahoo.com email me first and then we can talk on AIM or Yahoo Instant Messenger. My screenname for both is mvuono57
I hate my parents. No, Im dissapointed in their lack of support. They blame me for everything, my own twin sister blames me for everything. My dad calls me ugly, fat, and hits me. My mom calls me fat too, but goes to the extent of not feeding me. She doesnt just hit me like my dad, she beats me when she sees me cutting.
My sister is a selfish fat pig. If she doesnt get enough attention from ‘Daddy’, she cuts herself, throws a tantrum, or blames me, and accuses me. Did i mention she’s 14?
I just want to catch a Greyhound, or […]
Theres something that i miss about being a little kid
when cartoons were the shit, and everything was bliss
when the days felt so long
but it felt so right, it could never be wrong
its a feeling i cant fight, how could i hide this
miss being excited, the passion ignited
in me, see, feeling free and alive
where i only had to be afraid of them bee hives
now the pressure, fuck, just to measure up
to the rest of ya, gives me no pleasure ugh
what am i supposed to do? music my escape
i wanna fly away, and get high today
cuz im getting hit quick by this tidal wave
look at my face, […]
Hey all. I’m not here to be a saint or savior, I just want to share my past dark moments and how I turned it around. Doing this is not to share my old story, but to give someone something to contemplate on? So here it goes, briefly. Being the youngest, I was pretty bratty and then somewhat a tomboy. I always showed myself as being strong and tough, that no one can hurt me or belittle me. I just kept it sealed shut inside of me. It was jr. high when I first thought of suicide. As my grades were dropping, my parents, being […]
I feel utterly alone in this world of misery. I just want to say that it would be nice if someone here could support me and talk to me?
I know i sound pathetic,
but hey its worth trying!
I see hope for my future, but its really lonely with no one supporting my depression. not my parents, not my twin, and ill say it, i have no friends.
14 years old trapped in miserable california.
just a girl trying to be different, but in trying to be different i need support. and no, this is not an invite to creepers. just people who understand […]
Life….It is what it is. You look, you search, you contemplate…but you never find. Perhaps I heard too may fairy tales growing up, perhaps I listened to too many songs, but is it really so much to ask? Really? Love me for me? Be the man I need and in me you will never find a more faithful, caring, loving partner. It’s one thing or another. I had a man that lied to me all the time, one I was not at all in love with, but my lifestyle was grand. There wasn’t anything I wanted that I couldn’t have. But the lies, oh damn, […]
And you can’t deny that I’ll be the one mistake you’ll carry forever and you can’t pretend now that you thought I’d forget to notice you were gone. But the truth is its pointless. I’ll make my own world somehow where I control who stays. You won’t leave because you won’t know how to run away. I’ll make you care that I am running here without you. I’ll make you care. And you can’t escape that I’m in your dreams, like you swim in mine. And you’ll live your whole life dreaming, your dreams will be free of me but the truth is its pointless. […]
I’m thinking of quitting my job, and moving desperately to Florida where I might get work. If it doesn’t work out, I can always return home, kill myself, move again – whatever. I’m not really fearing death anymore, so I don’t mind living in poverty with strangers. If you’re desperate like me, we can leave together and share an apartment – I figure that the worst that can happen is I’ll die, which doesn’t really scare me if it’s quiet and painless. Anyone want to come with me for one last shot? I live in New Jersey. I’m 23 and male. Contact: mvuono57@yahoo.com
A truly nice person entered her email and has chatted to me over several weeks. I value her opinion and to be honest she has been exemplary. However I don’t think she or others understand the plight of some human beings on here. It is a passion for them to be honest and that is commendable. I cannot fault this person. Except to say that when I need to chat most they are not there. I am not asking for a relationship, just a friend who I can contact when I need to chat. There are few/very few who can do this. I have worked […]
I want to do the exit bag method with sleeping pills, but do I have to take anti sickness pills to keep myself from vomiting up the sleeping pills and if so, how long do I have to take them for before I do it? And is there a specific type of sleeping pill that works best, and is there anything else I need to take? I’ve read that sometimes while unconscious the body fights to pull off the bag and the best way to stop this i to restrain your hands, but how do I restrain my hands if I have to fall asleep […]
Ive been feeling lonely. no one i know has the slightest idea of whats wrong with me, they all think i’m perfectly fine , even though they noticed something change in me and not want to do things i would normally do.
I just want a friend. Someone i can finally feel close too. I recently lost my bestfriend who was from Arizona too. I would help her with her issues she would help me with mine. I feel all this stuff piling up, and i mean sometimes i write it out in a journal . but i dont think it helps.
I […]
2day u feel suicidal, 2morrow u might feel happy or u go on happy meds, thus giving u a false feeling of happiness. Or u become religious, in the hope that yo life means shit or u have some divine purpose. Those who are brave enough to face reality linger on in the darkness, either killing themselves or accepting themselves, learning to love the pain, learning to love the feel of cutting oneself, seeing the blood flow. Loving knowing that u’re not wat pipo think u are, that u dont feel anymore, nothing can touch. So enjoy this freedom to run away and not […]
i want to die but when i do try i get really scared of the pain before the death.i know i am the cause for all the problems.
my family knows that im depressed .my mom is very kind one min and the other she is very mean.she always treats me second to my brother who is a genius she wants me to be very good at studies but i should never out do my brother and i have a perv of a father who is very violent and hurtful at the same time.i do have friends as i pretend to be a very […]
breathing black ugly female human without hope. I’m not sure how to continue. Whatever coping mechanisms I have are dwindling. I try to fake it being the happy ******, making everyone laugh. Hello Rope, Goodbye life.
I feel ridiculous, having searched for a place to share my innermost feelings and thoughts of suicide…
I’m 14 years old, and have horrid self-esteem/confidence issues. I find myself repulsive, but yearn for love. I get no support from my family, not even my twin sister who hates me for getting attention i dont want. I go to a psychologist who tells me to go to school.
Did i mention i sort of dropped out, except i go every once in a while after my parents beat me.
I hurt so badly, over nothing. I have a house, food in my cupboards, clothes, im not […]
I started cutting when I was twelve. It’s three years later and I still can’t stop. Every time I try there’s always another reason to start again. There is no one here that I can trust. My Dad has betrayed our family,by recently quitting his job not even trying to find another one because he could care less what happens to our family. My Mom told me last night how she would leave if she had a job to support me and my little sister. We’re losing our house cause we can’t afford to live in it anymore, and all I can think about is […]
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