Home General
Category:

General

For general topics related to the site.

how to make yourself miserable

by thehusk
written by thehusk

There’s so much misery inside of me, that I’ve spent so many years burying. Parts of me I didn’t know how to fulfil, or was too scared to. And in order to bury that misery, I’ve given power to other parts of myself that are insatiable, compulsions that never bring real peace or satisfaction.

So now no matter what I do, some repressed part of me will be screaming for the alternative. Contentment is not possible. It’s just a question of which path brings less misery. And knowing that makes me want to give up. But I won’t let myself end it. I’m too afraid of […]

Continue Reading
4 comments
0 Email

i did it

by sinner
written by sinner

I did it. I graduated high school today. It’s been a long day. The graduation part went fine, even though it was overwhelming. Had my after party, I even got my mom to come for a little bit, even though she was pissed off at my dad for some reason and hated the idea of being surrounded by people she hadn’t been around in years. But I’m glad she stuck by for a little bit.

I don’t really know how to feel about any of this. I’m sure this will all hit really soon and I’ll be terrified and upset, but right now I’m just… here. […]

Continue Reading
4 comments
2 Email

Empty

by LeaveMeAlone.
written by LeaveMeAlone.

Yesterday morning I met a girl on the bus and I talked to her. Then in the evening I cried because I thought I would never see her again. 

I don’t understand why I’m so sentimental. My mood just goes up, down, up, down, and then flatlines. Like right now I just feel empty. There are so many things in my head that bother me. I feel like I am controlled mostly by fear. Like an animal. Fear of being alone. Fear of being judged. Fear of getting too close to someone. Fear of being depressed. And sometimes I even fear being happy. And forgetting. 
I […]

Continue Reading
2 comments
1 Email

waiting for a moment

by grandiloquence
written by grandiloquence

there was a point where i stopped feeling so depressed. it felt like coming up for a breath after a long dive in the ocean.  or like a foggy window, where the middle was finally wiped so i could properly see out of it. my head felt clearer. i didn’t feel so muddled in the dark. i felt nothing. or more so, i didn’t feel that depression anymore.

i could be happy, angry, or sad without feeling that depression. it was extremely weird; it was such a strange feeling. i had spent literally every day for at least 3 years feeling depressed. every, single, day. then […]

Continue Reading
0 comment
1 Email

why can’t I just turn it off?

by heartlessviking
written by heartlessviking

I’m trying to shut it out, the real world, the whole ball of wax….. there’s nothing there for me right now anyway.

I keep getting sucked back in, into the drama, into the dopamine high of watching others hurt….. how sick is that? If there’s anything that makes me doubt intelligent design, it’s how humans handle dopamine. We like pain, mostly causing it but some sick folks like feeling it too…. I’ve been in both positions.

So why can’t I just drop it, all the dirt, all the agony and wailing, why isn’t it easier to look away? I’m trying, for what that’s worth. I’ve closed all […]

Continue Reading
2 comments
0 Email

Short story

by trulymindless1
written by trulymindless1

My mind is a mess, isn’t it?

Chad awoke in a strange area.

Multiple small islands surrounded him, floating in mid air. On each island, there’s a marble statue. Each statue is of something… significant? Chad doesn’t remember.

A football, a clarinet, running shoes, a bottle of… whiskey?

Chad doesn’t drink.

He’s just… uncertain. In a haze of utter madness and chaos.

He stands up, brushes himself off, and moves toward the statue of the football.

In a flash, he sees himself, scoring a touchdown! He almost forgot how passionate he was about football.

His teammates dunk him in sports drink and he gets a kiss from a hot cheerleader.

I don’t really feel […]

Continue Reading
1 comment
0 Email

im selfish

by sinner
written by sinner

I need to just accept the fact that I have been very selfish. Whether or not I’ve let it be known to others doesn’t matter, I’ve been nothing but a selfish pile of disgusting rot.

Essentially, I mean in wanting – even expecting, to be talked to and paid attention to so much. I very rarely let this on to anyone, because I know it’s wrong, I am not entitled or deserving of any love or attention. My partner has barely spoken for 2 months now, and today all of a sudden after about 8 days they said they loved me. I was feeling alone. Left […]

Continue Reading
3 comments
1 Email

huh..

by levonn404
written by levonn404

I found out yesterday that I nearly lost my stepdad to suicide this week. About a week ago, I told my stepdad about the trauma he’s caused me; about how perv-y he gets when he’s drunk. He didn’t know he was like that. And he’s always viewed pervs as the worst of the worst, and believe they deserve painful deaths. So apparently, when he found out he was one of them, he thought he deserved to die too. I feel sympathetic for him, don’t get me wrong. But at the same time, after everything that that man has caused me, I’m glad he felt like […]

Continue Reading
1 comment
0 Email

road not taken

by heartlessviking
written by heartlessviking

Sometimes things give me some perspective, like as feeble and useless as I am, things could be worse.

I have these friends who are about my age, but way sicker physically than I am. They have something I don’t have, the ability to keep pushing when their bodies say no. I’m not sure if I envy that. Point being, they can push themselves to levels of sick that I can only dream of.

I have a lot of empathy for the situation, because I certainly could have kept pushing. This morning the guy had a full meltdown, a confluence of stressors arranged in such a way that […]

Continue Reading
5 comments
1 Email

Summertime Sadness

by Virus.Found
written by Virus.Found

It’s just one of those days to research ways to kms. No one knows how exhausted I am. I’ve hit rock bottom today and it feels as though I’m not going to get up any time soon. The worst is, that my doctor won’t write me up to take time off anymore. Well, I guess that sucks to everybody else. I’m not getting out of the house unless absolutely necessary. I can’t care about anybody’s needs anymore. I’m in a constant goose chase and I have nothing to show for it.

Continue Reading
0 comment
1 Email

i’m so unsure..

by Furby
written by Furby

graduation is coming up.. how did i make it here? i should’ve died a long time ago.. i don’t know what to do after, and i can only regret what i haven’t done long ago. i wish i was part of a big project.. a big community.. hell, just something to add to my portfolio but.. i’ve never been motivated to do anything, even making comics.

but i could’ve been something.. and now? i don’t know.

Continue Reading
2 comments
1 Email

The forever tainted

by lilsuicideangle007
written by lilsuicideangle007

It only replays it never ends
3 years being cut away from you and I am still being punished for loving you
The wounds on my leg healed shut but I have not. For I am still bleeding from my wrist with your name in the background of my brain echoing louder and louder.
I loved you but you loved to scream
Scream until my voice can no longer be heard and I am hidden in a corner
In the same room where you told me you loved me, I hide from you

I lost my voice
My appetite
And my will to […]

Continue Reading
0 comment
3 Email

The desire to not exist

by heartlessviking
written by heartlessviking

This is a unique feeling, finding someone _better read_ than I on the particular matter of philosophy that dominates my issues. I guess I assumed that others who wished not to exist had more success than I have at achieving it.

I’ve read the relevant Camus, Myth of Sisyphus, because it most clearly defines and attempts to solve the philosophic problem of suicide. Deeper still, it discusses the desire not to be, and proposes some alternative ideas like social suicide, where you just drop your existing life and go live a different one. But the Russian literature element, that’s been on my to read list for […]

Continue Reading
9 comments
2 Email

When

by confused
written by confused

When all you have left is exhaustion. When all your love has trickled into droplets in a vast empty darkness. The only thing that’s left is your sense of loyalty and misplaced faith.

They say the opposite of love is hate. But that’s not exactly true. The absence of love has always been indifference. Because how would you know hate, if you never know love? But how would you know love if there is nothing but emptiness inside?

Continue Reading
1 comment
0 Email

May 7th 2023

by lilsuicideangle007
written by lilsuicideangle007

It’s been almost 5 months since my mom passed away and I am a lost little girl without her.
It’s been 5 months of my brain just on autopilot and me just being in the background of my head
It has been 5 months with the bare minimum to survive by choice
If I can’t keep myself alive that is a problem for another person but not me
I hate the idea of leaving who I need but I love the idea of being as free as the wind
It’s been 5 months since I turned 16 and now my world has ended.
Once Upon […]

Continue Reading
1 comment
1 Email
Newer Posts
Older Posts