I have been on this website for a while now but i never dared to post because i was too scared but today im feeling a bit confident so i will just go for it. I am a 17 years old female. I have been diagnosed with depression since i was 14 and have been on meds since then. I have theraphy every monday and i go there. But nothing has really changed it just gets worse and worse. I was 16 and in 11th grade when i dropped out of highschool i just could’nt do it anymore. I always had huge dreams that i […]
I’ve completely broken down this time. It’s like no matter how hard I try, it ends in failure and more agony. I thought this damn time, I could finally recover my health…hah, what a joke! At the same time, what did I expect? I feel dead inside, don’t give a shit about my future, not to mention my health is like this because of being self destructive from wanting to die.
I have no one except for my family, the very one that plays a big part in why I struggled so hard to not hate myself. I feel a little bad about writing […]
Most of the time, the only option left for us is to die. It’s not like we deliberately want to die, maybe some of us do, but it is just the only viable option the world gave us.
I did try to fight. I really did. I didn’t try to fight because I wanted to live. I tried to fight because other people wanted me to – people that actually do love me. But it seems like the world is going against me. It feels like the world is a better place if I am not here anymore. Fight you say? What’s the point if it […]
I was doing good throughout the pandemic. I had been taking Benzos for over 9 years. I had decided to come off Benzos and start life all over again, because Benzos were now damaging me. In February of 2021, I went to my psychiatrist to get me off these drugs. Instead she put me on another drug that turned out to be more evil called Effexor. I was able to come off Benzos on my own and the psychiatrist cut my benzos refills off. I stopped sleeping and functioning. I then started taking Effexor and after two months of no sleep, I started sleeping again. […]
How many times have you said “i give up”?
How many times have you cried?
How many times have you kill your mind?
How many times have you hurt yourself?
When will you stop?
Always lost in the dark, never gave an effort to find light.
Covered in marks, never even bothered to fight.
Worthless, useless, incapable, dissociated.
Every negative words invented, you describe yourself with them.
You are a sad person. And you anchor down the people around you.
You worry about every single thing around you.
You cry at every inconvenient thing that happens.
People pity you. You pity yourself.
Never had dreams, because you’re untalented.
Your own mother doesn’t even like you.
Your father hates […]
dear no one,
i’ve been feeling down lately. actually, scratch that. i’ve been feeling down since i was 14 or so; i just never acknowledged or realized it. it’s a mixture of deep sadness and gut-wrenching anxiety every fucking day. i can’t even cry anymore.
you see, when i was young, i wanted to be an artist. i used to draw a lot, and even receive praises and compliments from others who look at my craft (thanks, pa. i hope you’re resting in heaven). i believed i can draw. when i went to college to become a creative artist as an advertising student, turns out, i only know […]
I’m going to kill myself soon.
though I say soon I do not have a certain date in mind.
I’ve been trying to connect with God but I’m not very loved by him.
I’ve been trying to distract myself but I’m not very motivated.
why do I have this heavy feeling in my chest, haven’t I had enough of life already? or is it human to fear death? if it is I don’t want to be human anymore.
I hate everything, though it’s not as bad as it used to be, I don’t want to live with my past […]
I was procrastinating on my homework when I came across this website. I’m writing this all off the top of my head so just stand by. So I read so many peoples stories on here and noticed one thing, everyone on here is going through the SAME THING. I myself often have bad mental health and breakdowns, but you know what? nobody is perfect. AND DON’T SKIP, I know everyone uses this as a pity sentence but just spend a minute of your life reading this because you need to open your eyes. Think to yourself, do you think there is a single […]
Earlier in the year I shared how my depression took a major downturn when my wife informed me that she was leaving me. I did not act hastily and do something stupid then, that to me is just drama. Instead, I checked myself into the hospital, and spent 4 weeks trying to sort through everything. Since that time, I have been in a daily fight with my depression, and I am losing. Continued therapy has not helped, and everything I try to do for me to make things better seems to be blowing up in my face. Today I found out that my job could […]
This was something that I thought of when I was at some of my lowest points in life. The idea that if I had a ship capable of interstellar travel, where it could jump to other star systems in a matter of seconds, I wouldn’t have hesitated to use it to leave this world and leave behind a parting message to the world as to why I left.
“Hello, most of you don’t know, I mean why would you, I’m just one mass amongst 7 billion other biological masses of similar nature. But it doesn’t matter whether you know me or not because I’m […]
I’m sorry to everyone who I’ve ever let down. Eighteen years of my bullshit. All of it is for nothing.
I’m sorry to Branson, I’m sorry to Blake, to my mother, to my father, brother, biological father, everyone. I’m so sorry for ever being born.
My whole life has been one huge waste. I became an addict at age 14. I blew my parents’ money ever since on drugs, sex… everything. I’m ready to leave.
There is nothing good about me. Nothing. I’m sorry that I ever bothered attempting to live. I’m sorry that I decided that this was the time to ever do anything. I/m sorry […]
I grew up in a very abusive home. I have severe mental illness because of this. I was groomed when I was 17 and moved into my groomers house when I graduated high school. Spent 4 miserable years being treated horribly. We had a son. I lost custody of him because I couldn’t afford a lawyer. I have nothing and no one. Monday I’ll be done.
I’m a loser.
I can count all the true friends I have that care about me on one hand.
I’m fat. No matter what I do; exercise, walks, jumping on the trampoline, no eating after supper, drinking lots of water, I never seem to lose weight which makes my diabetes even worse and makes me even more depressed. I gained 3 fucking pounds in July.
I have asthma, I will always have asthma. It has gotten better over the years but some days I find myself out of breath walking up the stairs or down the stairs, and it sucks.
I […]
the thing is, i don’t understand myself either. i am also a stranger to my own emotions and my own thoughts, my memory doesn’t work anymore too. they ask me what i mean and why i am like this as if i do know, they get mad as if i like being unbearable. i don’t think i have truly talked to anyone is a long while now.. i’ve spoken but not actually talked. i’m always mad too.. and hopeless, and frankly i want to punch every person that tells me it’ll get better.. no it won’t, the problem isn’t that i’m just not trying hard […]
why come in my room to talk to me?
only to put me down
to make me feel like im not good enough
i do everything right
you don’t have to make me feel shitty because you hate the way you grew up
you tell me im lucky for how nice you are to me
you also tell me that im a failure because i stay up late doing the homework i can barely do
im not doing this for you
so why critique me on the essence of my work when its not for you
it does not concern you
the reason im so […]
im only 14 and i dont eat. when i do, i purge. i used to be a straight a student but im falling behind. everytime i try to live, it gets harder for me. i sound like an ungrateful wuss for saying id kill myself bc things are too hard. but my energy to keep going decreases everyday. i just wonder if i would, if everyone would be better off if i was gone. i really cant do this.
sincerely, a hopeless nightmare
theres nothing to do anymore, nothing is fun, im stressing over the exams that we will have and lots of shit that we will have to do and who knows maybe i wont get accepted to that highschool that i wanted to go to and ill have to ruin my high school experience and most likely life because of it. u dont know how much i suffer from anxiety everyday, no one understands me, it hurts, i cover my ears and try not to cry and freak out from loud people, im slowly losing myself. i keep snapping and having break downs, i was happy […]
