Poetry & Art

For your poems.

2

Tomorrow Beckons

  May 11th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

Lack of confidence, low self-esteem,

mounting frustration, eyes without gleem.

Signs are they all, of impending disaster,

the end rushes at me, faster and faster.

– – – – – -  – – – – –

With no one around to share how I feel,

it will take forever for my soul to heal.

I can’t do it myself, no not all alone,

can’t somebody hear me? My life I bemoan!

– – – – – – – – – – – –

I don’t have the guts to make it end,

it’s taking too long to finally mend.

Oh! To be rid of this sadness and sorrow!

I turn my back on today and look for tomorrow.

=============================

Thanks …

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0

You isolate yourself

  May 10th, 2011 by steffy

I trusted you.
You were
The only person
I could tell everything to.
I ignored
Other people telling me:
‘Hes an asshole’
‘He’ll just mess up
Everything for you.’
I gave you
The chance
No one would give you.
And you f***ed up
Every chance you got.
I loved you.
When everyone hated you,
I was always there
For you.
But you,
You wanted more!
And me. . .
I found someone
Who wasn’t you.
You got mad
With jelousy
And f***ed
With your friend’s mind
Telling him that
I didn’tlove him!
That i slept with random guys!
I don’t understand
Why would you say
Such horrible things
About someone you love?

I know now
Why everyone
HATES you!
You’re gonna die
Alone,
And it’ll be all your fault,”dad.”

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7

Not Understanding

  May 10th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

what’s the line in the entertainment biz? “Once more, with feeling!”? Here’s another

=========================

I don’t understand why I feel so bad,

I thought I was over the feelings I had.

There’s no one to talk to or help me out,

I just wish I knew what this was about.

– – – – – – – – – – – – –

It can be so confusing, sometimes I don’t know,

what it is that I do, or where it is I go.

Yes I’m alone, but at times I don’t mind,

it’s just that right now, life is a grind.

– – – – – – – – – – – –

If it weren’t for …

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4

Thank You

  May 10th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

For all the help and encouragement…. to everyone. I’ve only been here since Saturday, but this place was crucial to my survival through Sunday and yesterday….  I have been encouraged to post some of my writings…. and although I’ve never shared them before this past weekend, I feel it’s the least I can do….. here is another…. titled “If Things Don’t Change”…

====================================

With my feelings,

there’s no pickin’ or choosin’

’cause most of the time

they hide away snoozin’

– – – – – – – – – –

When I look inside

it’s only perusin’

I’m so empty now

my life I am losin’

– – – – – – – – – –

If …

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5

The Love I’ve Lost

  May 10th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

I know a lot of people are here because they’ve lost some one ….  

====================================

I never thought

I could feel this bad.

I’m so sad and lonely,

what a good thing I had.

– – – – – – – –

It was finer than wine

and sweeter than honey,

I was richer then

but had less money.

– – – – – – – – –

It was so good

and  I didn’t know it,

but now that it’s gone

I’ve turned into a poet.

– – – – – – – – – –

This love that I’ve lost

it’s gone somewhere new,

this love that I’ve lost,

yes, it was you.

– – – – – – – – – – –

These …

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0

Violent Silence

  May 10th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

Alone with my feelings,

there is no one around.

My head is reeling

from all of the sounds.

– – – – – – – –

They all seem so hazy,

I can’t make them out,

it’s driving me crazy,

I just want to shout.

– – – – – – – –

As I continue to fight

these things in my head,

the day fades from light

and I get ready for bed.

– – – – – – – – –

As people come in

and out of my life,

they all seem to grin

unaware of the strife.

– – – – – – - – – –

The conflicts inside

are strong and yet silent,

from others they hide

but within they are violent.

– – …

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12

Crestfallen

  May 10th, 2011 by wastedlife

Every time I see or hear about someone who has died, been in an accident or killed in some way I can’t help but think “lucky bastard” or “I wish that was me.” Why can’t it have been me that died? why am I still alive when other people die who want to live?

even when I was holding my mum’s hand as she passed I way I wanted desperately to trade places with her. That is an image that I can never forget.

I want to die but I dont want to kill myself, I just don’t see a point to go on living so I …

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4

A new one and an old one

  May 9th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

First is a new poem, written on Thursday, May 5 2011….. it pretty much explains why I’ve never owned a gun in over 50 years of life…. I’ve never wanted to hurt others….. it is titled “IF I HAD A GUN”

==========================

If I had a gun

I’d show y’all what fun

If I had a gun

we’d never see the sun

 – – – – – – – –

If I had a gun

you’d all still look for some

If I had a gun

I’d be the one you shun

– – – – – - – – –

If I had a gun

there’d be no “we have none”

If I had a gun

it would not be …

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5

An Ending

  May 9th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

I have been asked to post some of my writings. So hopefully some of you can enjoy them. Here is one titled just like the posting…. An Ending

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

The sun beats down

as I lay on the ground,

that is red from all my bleeding.

Shot through the heart,

soon Life will depart,

of nothing will I be needing.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –

My mouth runs dry

and I begin to cry,

I know no help will arrive.

I know it’s too late,

I accept my fate,

nothing can keep me alive.

– – …

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12

I’m All Through

  May 8th, 2011 by FirstTimeSurvivor

They say it’s a sin,

to feel pain from within.

I don’t know, it may be true.

But if it’s a sin,

it will happen again,

I can’t help but feel so blue.

It won’t go away,

everything is so grey,

what am I supposed to do?

I don’t care what they say,

I can’t face the day,

with this life I am all through.

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4

So Sick of This

  May 8th, 2011 by tryingtohangon

I feel…

Like I’m losing my mind

Everything is crashing around me

I live in a cloud of exhaustion

I am too tired to care anymore

I am sick of it all

I’m smiling in your face

But all the time I wish you could take my place

People tell me that it’s worth it to fight

But I feel like running

Feel like taking flight

I want to reach out to someone

But who will help a girl like me?

I don’ t really want to be

Anymore

I can sing and I have skills

But I just want someone to kill

Me

I don’t even have the energy to end my own life

So how would I have the energy to endure …

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7

My Brothers Death

  May 8th, 2011 by LeighAnn5588

Receiving the phone call, jumping on a plane to LA and taking the elevator up to the 8th floor where my brother was is all a bit of a blur. Walking into to ICU and seeing my brother, broken, swollen, and almost unrecognizable is very clear in my mind. They had to remove the right side of his scull in order to relieve the pressure in his head. His eyes were bulging out of his eye sockets. Blood was slowly oozing from his ears, his eyes and his nose. He was being jerked up and down by the ventilator. …

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2

  May 7th, 2011 by wastedlife

Now I see the times they’ve changed,

Leaving dosen’t seem so strange.

I am hoping I can find, where to leave my hurt behind,

All the shit I seem to take, all alone I seem to break,

I have lived the best I can

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4

Dammit..

  May 5th, 2011 by Silent Screamer

I lost it.

I’m that much of a failure.

I lost my own fucking blade.

My mom found my other 2.

Now me.

Super smart me dropped it somwhere and now I can’t fuckung find it.

I retraced my steps and everything.

Fuck.

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1

Senses Fail – Hair Of The Dog

  May 3rd, 2011 by bamuel

Empty frames on the floor
there’s nothing left to prove who I was before.
I’ll burn the pictures before I leave
and wipe my prints off from the scene,
The embers will help me to grieve.

I need a drink to take, to take me through the day
Sometimes I lie awake and think of my mistakes.
Was there ever a time we weren’t dying
and I wasn’t lying?
I know I fucked up the last two years of your life.

Empty boxes by the door, I’m throwing out all
the clothes that I once wore.
They just don’t seem to fit my shape right now.
My appetite for holding on has been washed down.
I’m on a liquid …

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3

No One Knows

  May 2nd, 2011 by Kizzy

Thin lines on her arm

Hidden by her clothes

Cutting deeper and deeper

Because no one knows

 

She’s just a girl

Not strong enough to stop

A strange addiction

Watching blood drop

 

She loves the scars

She needs the pain

It frees her sad

It keeps her sane

 

It’s never enough

To ruin her flesh

She moves up her arm

She inches towards death

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6

Regulating to Normalcy

  May 2nd, 2011 by BleachedOutLands

I am tired, so tired.

I exist from chemical to chemical

in an attempt to regulate my life.

Soma to calm the agitation.

Vicodin for lightning anxiety.  OC and Oxy for relief from the endless, anxious despair.

Then the prescribed help: Seroquel (for the screaming white noise);  Tenex (for the electrical agitation).

Caffeine to boost back up –

to function, to pretend, to smile and move through the day

Desperately trying to get through,

to quell the desire to run screaming, yelling, throwing myself to the ground pulling out tufts of hair –

in protest against this horrific life of despair, this confined robotic life, the emptiness, the meaninglessness.

Instead, I exist in the ‘quiet desperation’,  from chemical to chemical – like …

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1

When will life become something I enjoy again?

  May 2nd, 2011 by maddoghalo

Well I sit and sit every day and live the same boring life every day, the only thing that changes is how I feel from day to day, each day seeming like im weaker.

I will not poor out my childhood story and I will not talk about whats happened recently, I will leave it as boldly as that I did not have a childhood, did not know what it was like to have friends, not know what it was like to have a social life, did not know what it was like to feel loved, forgot how it felt like to have a family.

I am …

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2

Today..

  May 2nd, 2011 by Silent Screamer

Today, my Dad pointed out my new cuts, and than my brother saw.

Today, my mom had a 3 hour talk with me because she later found out.

Today, I had.. I had..

I have no opinion about what has happened.

Basically the moral of this passage..

Is that my Dad, Mum, and Brother found out that I cut.

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4

Would anyone care if they knew?

  May 1st, 2011 by Ixhatexmyxname

I want to die just to see if anyone would care. I want to die but I don’t want to be dead forever. I wonder if anyone would listen if I told them I that I wanted to die. Would anyone take me seriously? Or would they think nothing of it. Would they talk me out of suicide if they knew how depressed I am? Who is ”they” anyways, there’s no one I trust with any of this. Because people finding out about me is my biggest fear. I am too ashamed and embarrassed to talk about any of this. So right now

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