For your poems.
I can’t quite put it into words but
we were something else.
We burned bright together but
what was even more beautiful was how
we glowed in presence of each other.
I honestly thought we’d go the distance
but the fates conspired and we were
nothing more than ships passing in the night.
And though we never reached the shores
of our dreams together,
We should never meet in another life
I feel like at this point, I’m starting to accept that whatever is going on with me probably won’t ever go away.
No matter how much I wish it would or how much I plead for happiness, or beg for something, anything better, It’s not going anywhere.
A couple years back in my freshman year of high school my mother believed I was suicidal, but I don’t think that was the case.
I don’t think I’ve ever really been suicidal, but I do fantasize about death.
If I were to die, would it matter? It’s only another part of life, and the world keeps […]
It bothers me that nobody really mentions the empty part of depression. I’m talking about the times where there’s not actually anything wrong, nothing is happening but at the same time I feel so depressed it physically hurts my heart.
It’s so silly though. To think that something simple like brushing my teeth or putting on socks seems like such a daunting task. Everything feels so heavy all at once but at the same time, I can’t feel anything.
It’s embarrassing too.
I try keep it under control, but there are times where I’ll go five or more days straight without showering just because […]
Tomorrow is my seventeenth birthday. Technically it’s in 1 hour, 23 minutes, and 7 seconds.
I should be happy, grateful even.
I don’t really know if I am allowed to be underwhelmed, but that’s the truth.
I feel so selfish for not wanting to celebrate or do much. I’m not trying to, but in reality I’ll just end up ruining it for everybody. My heart is as heavy as stones, and it’s dragging people down with me.
What a bummer, I know.
I wish the world was prettier than it actually is.
I feel so extinguished and saddened because I wish, I just wish I was in a different universe than this.
One that isn’t filled with so much rage and aggression and anguish and despair and horrible awful miserable devastation and loneliness.
I long for a world that is liberating. A place full of color and beauty, dreamers, adventure, peace, kindness, and simple joy from the sheer kiss of freedom.
A world without the constricting pressure of society and the absurdity of our social network. I wish this world weren’t so judgmental, so hateful, […]
Honestly I don’t think I have much room to talk seeing as everyone is so tired these days, but I really am tired. Worn out. Exhausted.
I wont kill myself though, I can’t. I’m too much of a coward to actually go through with it, but If I were to die I wouldn’t be upset.
Whenever a topic like suicide is brought up, my mother often makes comments or tells me how much of a coward that person is. That it’s not brave. I don’t know if I agree or not. I never have known, I’m too indecisive. Even with small things like […]
I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle dont let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me, please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.
I know you’re plan is un, known but until you reveal it to me. PLEASE make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to […]
trying to maintain my mental health thru someone
someone that love me and know my story
weve been together since 2010
from a friend to best friend to love
from cheerful to depressed version
started to
loving myself
grooming myself
looking into the bright side
trying to be better
but i
afraid to be in relationship
relationship is a frail thing
break like a glass
cant be forever
and what makes me scared the most
what if i dont love him back
what if he develop depression too
what if i fail you?
just like today
when my parents trying to take the mental health stability i earned and […]
My birthday is coming up soon. I’ll be seventeen, but I don’t feel excited like I’m supposed to. I honestly don’t feel much at all. My big brother left recently for the military, We don’t have family here except my cousins who, mind you, aren’t blood related. I love them, but it’s not the same.
It’s just me and my parents.
I don’t mind really, but at the same time, I feel jealous when I see the kids who get to go out, or throw big parties, or do things without a care in the world.
My best friend tells me about […]
I thought telling myself im getting better
Telling you im getting better
Will actually make me feel better
But its not
Its just makes me feel lonelier more than before
Trapped in my box of lie coating with happiness
Im so sorry i choose to left this way
But even if i ask and scream for help
You wont help me
You wont be here
Only my smile and cheerful side makes you happy
Makes you closer
Guess everyone loves the sunshine
But forget about the rain in the same sky
Raindrops have been catching my eye lately. Humans and our shit are predictable and banal, but raindrops…not so much. Feels good to take pictures again, just wish I could make myself stick with it.
In these woods I stand belong to me.
They’re burnt and barren as far to see;
The skies are dark and a storm is coming
There is no shelter for me.
It might be unwise to wait just a bit
But my weariness compels me to sit
As the winds pick up and the thunder rumbles
I cup my hands around to get my cigarette lit.
I’ve made too many mistakes while on my path
It’s plain to see and as easy as math.
There’s no time left and honestly I’m very tired
To face the stress, the hurt, the wrath.
These woods might not be pretty, green […]
It had been such a good day. For once, it was good.
He and I were texting like we do every day, and then it all came to a screeching halt the minute he told me how some random girl, “about early 20’s” came up to him, said something about how she needed to get rid of the flowers she was holding, gave them to him and left. And he was in awe.
It was all he could talk about, was a stupid girl and her flowers. (Emphasis on the stupid part.)
He texted me, telling me all about it. How she just got in […]
I’ve never been good at expressing my emotions. Whether I laugh it off, or say I’m okay, or avoid it like the plague, I know I’m not. It’s funny, (you can laugh) because some people might say that makes me a pathological liar.
However, sharing this with complete honesty and no take backsies, I hate the idea of being vulnerable. I hate talking about my issues. I hate that I hide it so well, everyone is either too stupid to believe it or too insignificant in my life to care.
What I hate even more though, is feeling like a burden to someone. Shocker […]
There comes a phase in our life where neither we can hold feelings nor let them go. We hopelessly love them without any conditions and even knowing they won’t love us back, we still love them holding all the broken pieces of our hearts….. but that doesn’t prove we are weak. Trust that phase …. it will make you stronger.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve had problems making and keeping friends. ive felt so lonely recently, and i feel like no one can help me, no one wants to help me
It’s slam poetry, so it’s better if I say it, but here it is
“is there a feeling that takes over you?
is there a feeling that just feels so… huge?
like a mountain of problems, of “oh, you’ll be fine”, of no way to solve ’em, and confusing your mind.
is there a feeling like that, makes you feel oh so flat.
makes you feel numb, feel defeated,
makes you feel that you were cheated.
by those who promised you’ll be […]
Can’t sleep, you know.?
I’m not thinking my thoughts, they do their own thing, you know.?
Do I really have to be there tomorrow.?
How much more leave of absence can my doctor prescribe.?
How many times is it okay to think about dying per day.?
Did I really say these awful things today and did they reply with more awfulness.?
Why did I hate my favorite person yesterday and why do I adore her today at Thanksgiving.?
Why do songs sound way more relatable than they used to.?
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